Gee.....thanks?

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cgarand
cgarand Posts: 541 Member
in Motivation and Support
It has been really busy at work lately. And, yesterday the unit was hopping. At 3pm I still hadn't gotten to eat lunch. I went into a patients room to do something and his visitor looked at me and said, 'You are always so busy, you think you would lose some weight.' I just stood there for a second thinking...did she just say that to me? When she followed up with, 'Really, why don't you lose weight, is there something wrong with you?'

I just don't know about some people...
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  • judykat7
    judykat7 Posts: 576 Member
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    Some folks just are not right. Some old ugly guy said something similar to me once and I replied, "Yeah, but someday I will lose it and you will still be ugly." Don't let tje sh**h**ds of the world get to you. And maybe they have bigger issues in their little brain going on and took it out on you.
  • japruzze
    japruzze Posts: 453 Member
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    If you didn't respond I give you credit. It was an inappropriate comment. Some people are incredibly stupid and uncaring.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
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    My tongue is too sharp & fast to.let that slide. BUT I'm glad you were professional at work!
  • rejordan
    rejordan Posts: 132 Member
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    Wow! I had a patient that told me that he'd prefer to have a white nurse -no disrespect you know-than me. I sent the supervisor to him and she explained that all the nurses on the unit were black and that I was the whitest he was gonna get! Ha! That shut him up! I would have said to that fool you encountered " you know, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe I'd end up looking like you!" Crickets. Silence. I thought so!
  • serenalesley
    serenalesley Posts: 58 Member
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    ... 'Really, why don't you lose weight, is there something wrong with you?'

    I just don't know about some people...

    My standard response to that type of thing is, 'That was incredibly rude of you, you must be so embarrassed.'
  • luv2ash
    luv2ash Posts: 1,903 Member
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    WHOA!!!! I am speechless. Kudos to you for maintaining your calm :)
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
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    Oh well....at least you were professional because normally those are the ones that would complain to your supervisor about you being rude to them.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    It has been really busy at work lately. And, yesterday the unit was hopping. At 3pm I still hadn't gotten to eat lunch. I went into a patients room to do something and his visitor looked at me and said, 'You are always so busy, you think you would lose some weight.' I just stood there for a second thinking...did she just say that to me? When she followed up with, 'Really, why don't you lose weight, is there something wrong with you?'

    I just don't know about some people...

    That ladies and Gentlemen is what we call a backhanded compliment. Who in the heck gives them a right to judge you when they probably don't know anything about you? Do they deserve the power over you to make you feel bad about yourself? No. They are truly speaking from an ignorant position so let it slide and don't listen. I think your beautiful and just fine.
  • Squidgeypaws007
    Squidgeypaws007 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    ... 'Really, why don't you lose weight, is there something wrong with you?'

    I just don't know about some people...

    My standard response to that type of thing is, 'That was incredibly rude of you, you must be so embarrassed.'

    I like that response!
  • tjk71
    tjk71 Posts: 167
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    WOW....just WOW!!!
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    Some people say everything that pops into their little minds. He/she sees you busy all the time, running around and not eating.. and thinks to himself/herself, how on earth is this girl not skinny? I wonder if she has some metabolic issue...... Then instead of tucking away the comment to himself, he blurts it out rudely.
  • luvhandles74
    luvhandles74 Posts: 85 Member
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    Sometimes I wonder why a complete stranger feels they can make comments like that toward someone. It's mind blowing really, I would never even consider making a comment like that, hell I probably wouldn't say it to someone I know well!! It's like the grocery clerk who asked me when I was due...2 months AFTER I had my baby...of course I told her I wasn't pregnant, she turned red, mortified I'm sure..*sigh* people should learn to keep thier mouths shut..I commend you for not letting her have it!!
  • JacquiDawn
    JacquiDawn Posts: 43
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    What the actual hell?! I don't understand how people are brought up without learning about respect.

    I was out on Christmas eve and some random bloke came up to me (admittedly he was smashed), but said, "you're not too ugly, will you be my plus one at my mates wedding?"

    Err no. But thanks for the invite. :|
  • ToniTime2012
    ToniTime2012 Posts: 15 Member
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    And this is why I love this community of MFP friends! You can share that the hurtful and ignorant remark amongst friends. We've all been there. One time my daughter and I were visiting my mom's elderly friend. My daughter said, "we just went out for a doughnut" and the woman said "YOU??? ate a doughnut??" Well, that just made me want to eat more. If that happened today, I would have posted it and not went for more food. Thanks for posting and thanks for caring for the sick at your job and doing what you do!!
  • Davidea76
    Davidea76 Posts: 16 Member
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    you know they say that some people just do not have a filter on their mouth. I believe this to be true about this person. She said exactly what she thought and probably never even questioned her thought or words she said to you. It is sad that people in this world are so rude. I probably would have said something back to her because though I am not hateful I am one that does not bite my tongue when someone is rude to me. I will stand up for myself no matter what it cost me. Let it roll off your back though and remember that as ofter as she shoves her foot in her mouth she should probably be morbidly obese. lol
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
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    Thanks for the support guys. I knew my MFP family would say the right things to make me feel better. :smile:
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    sorry this happened to you

    there are usually a few threads every day about this very topic

    the bottom line is fairly simple.........

    there are a whole bunch of really stupid people on this planet

    they may not be "rude" or cruel, but are just stupid

    if we think that they are being rude or cruel on purpose, it seems to hurt more but usually they are just stupid

    when you remember that they are just stupid, you change from feeling hurt to feeling thankful that you are not that stupid
  • WVmom24
    WVmom24 Posts: 266 Member
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    Last year I had a guy ask me when my baby was due. Now I'm 5'7"-5'8", I was about 250lbs...not really a big belly, all considered. I did NOT look pregnant. I said I needed to get my phone out of my car (I was at the hair salon...he was a customer there too, waiting on a cut), so I went out to my car and cried it out for a sec and came back in. Then the stylist was telling me later he was being rude to her and she had rushed him out after she cut his hair. That made me feel better...I don't know what his 'deal' was, but it made me feel better that it wasn't just ME. Don't let that crap get to you...some people are a-holes, some people are ignorant, and some others actually have mental/emotional problems that lead to them saying things that hurt others without them even realizing it. *hugs*
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    It has been really busy at work lately. And, yesterday the unit was hopping. At 3pm I still hadn't gotten to eat lunch. I went into a patients room to do something and his visitor looked at me and said, 'You are always so busy, you think you would lose some weight.' I just stood there for a second thinking...did she just say that to me? When she followed up with, 'Really, why don't you lose weight, is there something wrong with you?'

    I just don't know about some people...
    Some people are crude enough to actually speak what most people are thinking.
    Usually, they don't intend harm.
    It's like this news article linked below...
    Overweight News Anchor Takes Fat-Shaming Bully to Task on Air
    http://shine.yahoo.com/visit-britain-us/overweight-news-anchor-takes-fat-shaming-bully-task-193700343.html

    Same kind of thing.
    We don't need people telling us what we already know. It turns out the guy was appalled that anybody took offense. He thought his actions were positive and productive. He's a fool...but what he expressed gives us a glimpse of mainstream perceptions.
    What did people really think when they saw me like this...
    33323822_1748.jpg
    One guy in our community came up to me to say hello, and we had not seen each other in years.
    "Boy, are you FAT" .. haha? No, I wanted to pound his face in,...
    As you mentioned...I just don't know about some people...
    Thanks for sharing....:flowerforyou:
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
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    Just remember that you took the high road, even though it was probably due to being stunned! Some people just don't understand how to not ask questions.

    There isn't anything you could have said that would have made you feel good about yourself except maybe..
    I probably would have more weight loss if I could eat a bit at regular intervals.. this job is really hard on a persons body and pretty thankless.

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