Does anyone else have an overweight tween/youth?

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My son is 10 years old and quite overweight. He's very active in sports but definitely a food addict. He eats out of boredom, has a terrible sweet tooth and doesn't seem to know when to stop. My 8 year old daughter is very slim and does not have the eating habits he has. s

I'm pretty healthy, work out a lot and very consistently, have been on MFP for a few years. My goal is to rid my house of at least 50% processed food and start making healthy snacks for the kids (granola bars/muffins, etc.) I know he's not happy about it, and I told him I will work with him to come up with a food/exercise plan that he can follow. Problem is he's 10 and is now spending time with friends (walks to school, etc.) so it's not always in my control. I took him to the dr and she was not overly concerned. She said she sees this all the time and he will shoot up in Grade 6/7. (my husband is over 6 ft tall)... to me though it seems to be getting worse.

Just wondering if anyone else has this issue with their child and how you are dealing with it. All advice/comments welcome.
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Replies

  • jebo1982
    jebo1982 Posts: 85 Member
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    I think if his dr isnt concerned, then i wouldnt be too worried about it. It is very common for kids to pack on the pounds/eat a ton and then have a growth spurt. Its like their body is preparing itself for the growth spurt.

    However, i do think you should continue keeping healthy options in the house. Have him go grocery shopping with you to pick out healthy options that he likes.


    Don't nag him about his eating habits because he will just get defensive. Also, don't compare him to his sister. They are two different people with different genders, body types, ages, etc.
  • L_Stradford
    L_Stradford Posts: 156 Member
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    My daughter is 8 years old. When I won custody of her (she is my step-daughter) she was 5 years old, weighing in at 79 pounds. WOW....is what I initially thought. The problem wasn't as clear to me when I only saw her on weekends. She moved in with me and my husband in September of 2009. We took her to the doctor that same month and she said she needed to lose weight. Her bio mom is a very small woman and my husband is average size. Her weight came from eating the wrong things when she resided with her bio mom and her confession that she had never drank water! I was floored to hear that.

    To make a long story short, my husband enrolled her in dance classes, packed her school lunch (fruits and veggies with a sandwich and water), and we started to take her outside every single day to "play!" She HATED it at first. She didn't want to walk, run, or eat right. Around December of 2009, we noticed that her size 10 clothes were too big. We bought size 8's. In March of 2010 her 8's were falling off of her. We purchased size 7's. Today, my daughter is about to turn 9 years old, loves to run, is excellent in ballet, tap, and jazz and even loves to work out with me. She is 59 pounds and a size 7/8 in kids. Her self esteem is through the roof and I am happy that we did everything in our power even when she rebelled and was angry in the beginning.

    It was tough but her doctor constantly reminded us that what we instill in her now will remain when she is an adult. She tells me what to cook. She knows that she should eat healthy, lean meats, a good green veggie (her words), and a small portion of starch if she wants it. I only wish that I had learned the same at her age. I love her confidence and she has really blossomed into a beautiful young lady since her weight loss.

    I want to add that she is a short girl. She has gotten a bit taller but that literally had nothing to do with it as she only grew about 2 inches, which isn't that tall. If the doctor is ok with his weight gain and you aren't, at the end of the day, you know him best. He is your child and you see his progress. Maybe get a second opinion or see a nutritionist if you are very concerned. But at his age and height along with his physical activity, I myself wouldn't be too worried. Give him some time to grow but keep your eye on him.

    Does he like using the scale? My daughter does. She thinks it's "fun" (I beg to differ). But I keep my eye on her that way and when she asks if she can use the scale, I make sure I am there to see the number. She honestly doesn't even know what the number means but just likes to see it come up in the big blue window and jump around after seeing it. Your son is a bit older though and would probably know what you are looking for. But if you don't think that would get him down, maybe try doing that for a few months.
  • LisaGirlfriend
    LisaGirlfriend Posts: 493 Member
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    Does he like using the scale? My daughter does. She thinks it's "fun" (I beg to differ). But I keep my eye on her that way and when she asks if she can use the scale, I make sure I am there to see the number. She honestly doesn't even know what the number means but just likes to see it come up in the big blue window and jump around after seeing it. Your son is a bit older though and would probably know what you are looking for. But if you don't think that would get him down, maybe try doing that for a few months.
    Thanks for those replies.
    He has been on the scale, but I don't want the focus to be on that. My mom took me to Weight Watchers at age 10!! Yes you read that right... I have lived my life since age 10 a slave to that stupid scale. I don't want to do that to him. I want him to think about healthy body, healthy food, being active, etc... not what that stupid scale says. I see me in him so much and I just want him to be a happy, healthy kid. I put veggies and fruit out at every meal but I can't make him eat it. I don't want to have a power struggle with food. Tonight we are going to sit down with a weekly plan and talk (again) about the Canada Food Guide and what activity we can add to his day. Today he's at home with my husband and has been ice skating on the pond behind our house for over 3 hours... :-)
  • bsmith404
    bsmith404 Posts: 333 Member
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    Try not to say anything to him about his weight.

    My pediatrician says that my oldest daughter is overweight, meanwhile my middle child is fine and my youngest is underweight. They all eat the same thing and play sports.

    Here is what I did. I told my daughter to pick a sport and she picked basketball so that's her workout 2x a week. Plus my daughter and I have mommy and me time where we walk at a park and just talk about life. She brings her bikes or rollerskates sometimes. So this way we get time in and she is working out. I also reduced my kids portions. They get one serving not 2-3 or seconds or thirds as they like to say. If they are hungry after they eat I keep them busy and we always have a snack usually within an hour of eating so they usually forget they were hungry. Sometimes it takes time to catch that you are full.

    I talked to my oldest gym teacher who said that my daughter hates running and on gym days my daughter would cry. So he encourages her and every gym day we let her pick out her gym clothes and we tell her she's going to do great. Now she wants to do join "run like a girl."

    I have started to change the way I make their lunch. Adding more fruits/veggies.

    I take my kids grocery shopping with me. I know a lot of people may hate taking their kids grocery shopping but I love it. I, on purpose, spend a lot of time in the produce section and sooner or later my kids want this or that added to the shopping cart. I let them pick out what they like and ask if they want to try anything new. I do not make my kids eat what they don't like so yes I may make seperate lunches. My friends disagree with me but why pack one daughter carrots when she doesn't like it but will eat cucumber and vice versa.

    Try to limit the amount of processed foods. My daughter loves rice krispy treats so we make them together instead of buying them. We also bake every Sunday. I don't want them to fell deprived and end up going to get a friends out or a party and eating every dessert in sight so we bake healthy and she helps me and that way we have a healthy dessert for the week.
  • peckish_pomegranate
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    I was a fat kid and my parents were always on me about loosing weight. As a teen, I developed an eating disorder that left me in the hospital.

    Set a good example by eating healthy and working out yourself, and don't keep junk food in the house. Encourage the whole family to get involved in physical activities and making/planning healthy meals together.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    I have worked hard to prevent this, but I know all too well the challenges of raising kids and keep them fit.
    We have 5...
    Not everybody is cut out to be a USMC drill instructor, but there are still things parents can do to rise above this challenge.
    It's not easy, and the kids will resist all the way.
    I feel you.
    Good Luck!
    And feel free to ADD me as friend....

    All Is Possible!
  • athenaheim
    athenaheim Posts: 496 Member
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    [/quote]
    "Does he like using the scale? My daughter does. She thinks it's "fun" (I beg to differ). But I keep my eye on her that way and when she asks if she can use the scale, I make sure I am there to see the number. She honestly doesn't even know what the number means but just likes to see it come up in the big blue window and jump around after seeing it. Your son is a bit older though and would probably know what you are looking for. But if you don't think that would get him down, maybe try doing that for a few months."
    [/quote]

    Thats funny my five year old and even 18m old think it is funny to step on the scale. They see mommy doing it so they think it is fun.

    OP I would just try to get him to eat healthier. Have him help you in planning those meals and snacks. Keeping him involved in the planning process might help him realize "I can do this."

    Good luck.
  • SarahAFerguson
    SarahAFerguson Posts: 250 Member
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    As a parent this is on of the things I really worry about. Thankfully my daughters seem to be naturally thin ( they take after their dad - LOL). We insist that our kids are active and eat well. I have learned to hard way not to listen to the criticism of friends and family or even to "professionals", if I have a gut feeling that something is wrong with one of my kids.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    They do pack on some weight right before they go through a growth spurt but helping him set up healthy habits now will definitely set him up for a healthier future. Keeping him active will obviously help; active video games, outdoor activities, enrolled in sports, etc. You said you want to remove at least 50% of the processed stuff from your home, do you cook from scratch? My son is almost 13 and I have had him in the kitchen quit a bit helping and learning to cook. He's gotten much more interested in eating healthy foods since he started cooking them. For example, he likes granola but I won't buy most of the stuff they sell in the store because of additives, processing and in our case we're gluten free. So I found him a simple recipe and the first time through he made it as directed. After that I gave him the freedom to tweak the recipe to his liking and now he makes the most amazing granola! He took it on a Boy Scout hike/campout and convinced the other boys to try some. After that they appointed him the bringer of granola on all campouts, they loved it that much! Now his troop plans on yogurt and granola for a hiking snack or camp breakfast. :)

    Getting him involved in food prep and giving him some control over how the food is prepared and what he's eating will make you allies instead of him feeling like you're taking something away from him. We joke that our kids aren't "picky", they're "foodies". They love vegetables, quinoa and whole grains and detest things like mac and cheese, nuggets and fish sticks (which is good because we can't eat them now that we're gluten free!) It was a slow transition but we do get used to what we eat most often.

    Sorry for all the rambling! Just make sure you're focusing on everyone being healthy and not singling him out for "weight issues". If the whole family is concentrating on being healthier in activities and food he won't feel like there is something wrong with him.
  • gjulie
    gjulie Posts: 391
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    I have 5 children from 20 to 9 none of them have weight problems I dont know if this is just luck or genetics one simple rule is absolutely no fizzy drinks are allowed,I cook all our food from scratch I make pizza and and my own potato chips(a rare treat) we might go to McDonalds for a birthday,I dont buy breakfast cereals only oatmeal I make fresh soups and casserols,dont use anything from tins apart from tinned tomatoes,I bake rolls for school lunches to which I add baked sliced chicken and a little mayo also yoghurt cheese a piece of fruit and a bottle of plain water.They do have the odd bar of chocolate,it works for us.my older boys work out at the gym my younger girls are dancers so it keeps them fit!
  • L_Stradford
    L_Stradford Posts: 156 Member
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    "Does he like using the scale? My daughter does. She thinks it's "fun" (I beg to differ). But I keep my eye on her that way and when she asks if she can use the scale, I make sure I am there to see the number. She honestly doesn't even know what the number means but just likes to see it come up in the big blue window and jump around after seeing it. Your son is a bit older though and would probably know what you are looking for. But if you don't think that would get him down, maybe try doing that for a few months."
    [/quote]

    Thats funny my five year old and even 18m old think it is funny to step on the scale. They see mommy doing it so they think it is fun.

    OP I would just try to get him to eat healthier. Have him help you in planning those meals and snacks. Keeping him involved in the planning process might help him realize "I can do this."

    Good luck.
    [/quote]

    LOL, that is funny! Kids are so innocent. They don't know one way or another! I make sure my daughter doesn't get caught up in the hype though of weighing herself and just sees it as fun. I don't want to instill vanity into her, but health. Seems like she has the picture.

    I also agree with keeping him involved in the planning process of his meals. Just like myself, I refuse to totally restrict everything from my daughter's eating habits. The only thing she absolutely cannot have is soda. Everything else is fair game in my book (in moderation)! She knows this as well. Try to mostly instill portion control and not just what to eat but how much he should eat.
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
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    My youngest will be 18 in about 4 weeks. He's been overweight for 3 years. Right now he's 6'3" and weighs 250 pounds. His chest is 50". He's also lifting weights off and on. He's a big kid and has been stocky since he became a teenager.

    It's tough when our kids are overweight. Honestly, since I've been exercising, watching what I eat, cooking from scratch more and taking better care of myself...he's been doing a lot better. He's starting to tone up more, etc.
  • L_Stradford
    L_Stradford Posts: 156 Member
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    Does he like using the scale? My daughter does. She thinks it's "fun" (I beg to differ). But I keep my eye on her that way and when she asks if she can use the scale, I make sure I am there to see the number. She honestly doesn't even know what the number means but just likes to see it come up in the big blue window and jump around after seeing it. Your son is a bit older though and would probably know what you are looking for. But if you don't think that would get him down, maybe try doing that for a few months.
    Thanks for those replies.
    He has been on the scale, but I don't want the focus to be on that. My mom took me to Weight Watchers at age 10!! Yes you read that right... I have lived my life since age 10 a slave to that stupid scale. I don't want to do that to him. I want him to think about healthy body, healthy food, being active, etc... not what that stupid scale says. I see me in him so much and I just want him to be a happy, healthy kid. I put veggies and fruit out at every meal but I can't make him eat it. I don't want to have a power struggle with food. Tonight we are going to sit down with a weekly plan and talk (again) about the Canada Food Guide and what activity we can add to his day. Today he's at home with my husband and has been ice skating on the pond behind our house for over 3 hours... :-)

    I agree that you shouldn't make him use a scale. I understand that he is a bit older and he understands more than my daughter would. He wouldn't see the scale as fun at all. I am very sorry that you were made to feel that way at 10 years old. I cannot fathom making my daughter feel that way. That is why we never mention weight, skinny, fat, big, small, none of those words around her. She doesn't need to know what all of that is at her age.

    Because little girls are more body conscience, I refuse to make her, at 8 years old feel "less than." But I have to differ with you on one thing.....I control what my daughter eats when she is home. If I put salmon, broccoli, and sweet potatoes on the table and she only picks up the sweet potatoes and salmon, I remind her that in our home, you will eat your vegetables so you will grow into a healthy, strong young woman. At 10 years old, I do not think that one of his choices should be what he will and will not eat. Others may disagree, but I stand behind that. That is the way I was raised and my parents let me and my siblings know that it's their way when it comes to our nutrition and health until we are old enough to buy our own food. I swear that worked until I moved out!

    You can have him choose, he can either eat his vegetables first or last but he will eat them and you control that at his age. He might throw a tantrum or surprise you and eat them. But that is the rule at my dinner table and at 8 years old, my daughter fully undertands that you can choose whether you want thes veggies in your belly first or last, but you aren't getting up from this table until your vegetables are gone.
  • irishjune
    irishjune Posts: 42 Member
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    Set a good example by eating healthy and working out yourself, and don't keep junk food in the house. Encourage the whole family to get involved in physical activities and making/planning healthy meals together.

    This was my strategy when my son got "chunky" as a pre-teen, which I agree is normal before a growth spurt. There was no talk of dieting or weight loss (which proved completely counter-productive for me as a kid and helped set me up for a lifetime of food issues.) Just lots of acceptance and a focus on eating real (not processed) food and being healthy as a family.
  • LisaGirlfriend
    LisaGirlfriend Posts: 493 Member
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    You can have him choose, he can either eat his vegetables first or last but he will eat them and you control that at his age. He might throw a tantrum or surprise you and eat them. But that is the rule at my dinner table and at 8 years old, my daughter fully undertands that you can choose whether you want thes veggies in your belly first or last, but you aren't getting up from this table until your vegetables are gone.

    I always put carrots and cucumbers on the table with the meal (fruit too which is not an issue in our house) and I always tell them they need to eat some veggies with their meal. Sometimes he refuses and I don't push it, but we are going to change that and start pushing it... and cut down on seconds and thirds. I also researched healthy granola bars and muffins, etc. and bought all the ingredients. We are making our own from here on, no more storebought kind. :-) He does like helping cook and I often cook from scratch. He just seems to eat WAY too much.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    My goal is to rid my house of at least 50% processed food and start making healthy snacks for the kids (granola bars/muffins, etc.)

    Why only 50% ? I'm sure most of his eating will be in the house, so you can make the biggest impact in the home.
  • L_Stradford
    L_Stradford Posts: 156 Member
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    You can have him choose, he can either eat his vegetables first or last but he will eat them and you control that at his age. He might throw a tantrum or surprise you and eat them. But that is the rule at my dinner table and at 8 years old, my daughter fully undertands that you can choose whether you want thes veggies in your belly first or last, but you aren't getting up from this table until your vegetables are gone.

    I always put carrots and cucumbers on the table with the meal (fruit too which is not an issue in our house) and I always tell them they need to eat some veggies with their meal. Sometimes he refuses and I don't push it, but we are going to change that and start pushing it... and cut down on seconds and thirds. I also researched healthy granola bars and muffins, etc. and bought all the ingredients. We are making our own from here on, no more storebought kind. :-) He does like helping cook and I often cook from scratch. He just seems to eat WAY too much.

    I think the most important thing is just health at his age. But that sounds like a great idea...push him into healthier eating habits by explaining the benefits of picking fruits and veggies first and then his meat and a starch if they are options as well. Refusing to eat what you know is good for him should not be an option at his young age. I know sometimes it just doesn't feel worth it to go back and forth with a child, but I care about my daughter's health more than I care about a tantrum she may or may not throw because I forced her to eat one serving of cabbage. Eventually, he will not even need you to tell him to eat his veggies. But try to instill it in him now.

    Also, I think cutting out seconds and thirds is a good idea as well. If I can fill up and be satisfied on one plate of fruit, veggies, and fish; I don't see why a child needs second and third helpings. One of my friends were just asking me this a few weeks ago. She wanted to know if she should feed her boys seconds if they ask. Of course children will want seconds of the high caloric, starchy, items, so I said if it were me, I wouldn't allow them to have seconds. Children are small little beings and do not need more food than an adult eats or more than their body burns at 6:30 in the evening. Maybe seconds and thirds on special occasions but definitely not a constant, daily act.

    Hope this helps.
  • watfordjc
    watfordjc Posts: 304 Member
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    I was an overweight child.

    Hated being put on stupid diets a couple of times.
    Hated PE, but did do walking, cycling, and playing football with my friends.
    Hated being on the rugby team "because you're the right build", did like a school trip where we canoed in Ardeche.
    Hated sports days (and a sponsored 800m run my mum entered me for).
    Hated being told to eat food I found revolting by school (and others). Didn't eat school dinners after I was about 10/11 - packed lunches, home for lunch, or lunch from shops nearby with friends (depending on age).

    Like the fact my bones are strong.
    Like the fact I have always been able to beat my friends in an arm wrestling match (I'm not just fat and bones).

    Do you buy food you cannot stand? Everyone's taste buds are different and change as they age. Lychees, Ugli Fruit, very ripe Kiwis, pomodorino tomatoes, pomegranates, pink lady/royal gala/empire apples, purple sprouting broccoli, sugar snaps (prefer them raw), asparagus, sweet satsumas, ripe bananas and ripe plantains, etc. You'll never see me buying oranges, kumquats, star fruit, cabbages, carrots, cauliflower, golden delicious, aubergines, okra, yams, or anything aniseedy or with water chestnut in.

    As far as "getting worse", see if he'd be interested in weight training (AFAIK every one of my male friends has a set of dumb bells somewhere). If so, get a medical screening to see if there are any underlying medical issues that may be a problem and if not do some research on kid/child/teen/tween strength/weight training. The excess calories will more likely become muscle than fat, and the muscle will increase the metabolism even when he is playing video games. It may even come with a side effect down the line of "OK, want to get serious with it now. What are the best foods for gaining muscle?"

    "If I can fill up and be satisfied on one plate of fruit, veggies, and fish; I don't see why a child needs second and third helpings." If you are a female and in a calorie deficit, your calorie needs are different than a 10 year old boy whose TDEE is on average 1,970 calories - doing more than the recommended exercise amount they'll need more than that.
  • talentjar
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    I have two teen boys and a tween. My 19 and 16 yo are healthy weight; 6"4/185 lb 5"11/140 lb (he is slightly underweight but does a lot of sports and HATES to eat too much :( ) BUT my D is overweight and has been her entire life. I have had her in for testing for metabolism, thyroid, etc because she gains weight quite easy. I also suspected a food allergy, and still do-so try to eliminate wheat, etc.
    However, I feel your pain when trying to control the eating habits of a ten yr old. My girl is 4"11 and 120-ish pounds. Finding her clothing is expensive and frustrating. She has healthy meals with us as all of us don't do take out, but she likes to try to out eat her older brothers. She does not have the sugar issues, but does have the volume issues. I started giving her a smaller plate, and explaining the portions to her. I think as adults it is easy for us to forget what is common knowledge to us, is not to them.
    Also, I would not use the food guide, IMHO, as it still recc. a lot of carb and bread. I am wondering if your son is sensitive to sugar/sugar addicted as he has a voracious appetite as you said, combined with wanting a lot of sugar.

    I would try experimenting with a lower-sugar diet. No sugar cereals in the house-oatmeal or bran for breakfast, then veg n dip with lower-sugar fruit, yogurt and a low-carb wrap for lunch. No buns, bread, etc during the day. Family meal time he gets portions and no seconds for at least 20 minutes. Plus, lots of flavoured water if he hates water. He may need more protein in his diet and I would just ask him if he feels hungry all the time-and talk him through the reasons why. Ask him why he thinks he is hungry and ask him if you both can work on experimenting on some things that might help the hunger not be so bad. It has got to be frustrating being that age and going through that.

    Also, if he is emotional eating or boredom eating, maybe have him visit a dietician in the area-and my GP was not very helpful either...and this might help.

    Finally, if he is into video games, tv, pc, ipod, etc as most kids that age are, I would definitely remove those and start a reward system instead. Like, he has to play outside for a half hour, go skating, help with housework, etc...the goal being he gets a half hour of exercize at home...then he gets an hour of pc/tv,etc.

    Kids need to be stimulated and I fought with my two teens on this all the time-and it doesn't get better as they get older-my oldest is a huge gamer and while he IS in school and working he also had a problem with gaming a few years back and grades dropped. I know it is tough once they get older, the only saving grace for my oldest is that I was very strict about his diet as he was an athlete so I always talked to him about what he was putting in his body. He works out all the time and eats a very healthy diet as an adult-I would say thanks to the education on food he got.

    If your kid is interested in science or experiments, you could also look up some fun experiments you could do together, to help him understand the science behind food. It is not to make him feel bad, but to raise awareness of him putting fuel in his body and then using it. IE: If he is going to have a chocolate bar, is he going to be running a race? Does his body need that right now?

    My daughter has lost about 5 lbs since I started this last year. I put her in dance and this year it will be swimming. She likes to move around and her portions are getting better. I still face huge problems when she goes to her dads and they feed her full of pasta....against my wishes as she gets psoriasis and hives sometimes after eating lots of pasta or starches.

    Anyhow, good luck and hope all works out with your son-it is a lot of work but worth it! :)
  • shushy70
    shushy70 Posts: 26 Member
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    My 11 year old son is overweight , quite a bit overweight , I would say he probably needs to drop at least 25 pounds . He is a very , very picky eater .
    My road with him has been a tough one , he has ODD and ADHD so I have always had to pick my battles . We seem to have those issues under control for now , so I am going to start putting the efforts into getting him ( and me ) moving , I also will not buy junk and processed snacks to keep in the cupboards , I am hoping I can get him motivated , he hates being overweight and it gets him down .