Kind Hearted or Charity Case??

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ZozoMonster
ZozoMonster Posts: 270 Member
in Chit-Chat
Basically, I have this friend who is really poor. I've never actually met her, but I know her through my ex and she's lovely. She's a great person, a right laugh, and tries a lot harder than people give her credit for.
She suffers depression, bipolar, back problems, doesn't have any qualifications, can't get into college, can't get a job, doesn't get JSA or any other financial help...
I know she loves Iron Fist, and they have a sale on atm... So I bought her a pair of shoes and am getting them sent directly to her. She knows nothing about this.
I'm know thinking, is she gonna think I'm treating her like a charity case?? Coz that's really not what I intended. I just wanted to give her a break and have something nice for once...

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  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,088 Member
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    It was nice of you to buy a gift for someone you've never met.

    We never really have any control over what people think of our gifts. You did it out of goodness, that's all that matters.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Well, why not say it is a late Christmas gift? Or, does she have a birthday coming up soon? Either way, just present it as it was meant to be...a gift.
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 365 Member
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    It's good of you to do this. Hopefully she will take it in the spirit that it's offered.
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
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    Just include a card that says "enjoy" and if she expresses discomfort about it then explain that when she's able to pass on an act of kindness or play it forward.

    Shirley in Oregon
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I think it's lovely. I believe it will make her feel good, because it was such an unexpected and thoughtful thing to do.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I'm not much better off than your friend, plus I have a braying laugh. Strangers are more than welcome to send me gifts. And money. My Paypal username is: Maraisjustkidding,shedoesn'treallywantyourmoney.

    Seriously, you are doing something nice. Don't be anxious about how your gift will be perceived. If she has an issue with it, she can let you know, and you can tell her it wasn't meant as charity, tell her you think she deserves those shoes and you will be happy to think of her wearing them.
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    Life is all about what we can do to help others. I believe in doing charity for other but it's hard to accept it when it's given to you, I'm sure. I would do a light heart letter with the shoes, just letting her know that you knew she liked the shoes and saw they were on sale.

    You have amazing heart so Thank you for showing others what we should all be doing . Which is being kind and serving others.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    That was really kind of you, and I hope she takes it that way. It's impossible to tell until you get her reaction. Maybe you could send her a note/text/whatever to explain that you had an impulse, just really wanted to give her something nice and don't mean any offence by it. Or, you could wait until she responds and if it's negative, say something similar. Hopefully she'll just be really pleased!
  • MattTheWaterRat
    MattTheWaterRat Posts: 167 Member
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    The person in question could respond to your gift with gratitude, anger, or even apathy. You have no control over her response, although I wouldn't say each response is equally likely. If you've spend enough time with her, you should be able to guess right based on character. You could also evaluate your friendship based on such a response. I don't believe an angry, jealous person makes for a good friend.
  • ZozoMonster
    ZozoMonster Posts: 270 Member
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    Just so you all know, this is what she said...

    "Zoe Sudds. Whaaaaaaaaaaat?! I got mail this morning. I don't even know what to say. I owe you SO many cocktails. They are gorgeous. You sneaky! ;_; "

    I think she was happy :D
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,088 Member
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    Just so you all know, this is what she said...

    "Zoe Sudds. Whaaaaaaaaaaat?! I got mail this morning. I don't even know what to say. I owe you SO many cocktails. They are gorgeous. You sneaky! ;_; "

    I think she was happy :D

    Nice! You. and her.

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