Weight loss reward majorly backfired!

I'm sorry to hear about this unfortunate surprise! I had a similar experience about seven years ago, and it honestly ****ed my self image up more than I ever thought it would. However, it was my own fault: I used cheap, store-bought lightener for over a year, and my hair broke off and fell out, forcing me to cut it (it looks like yours was about the same length mine was then). I don't remember when I started to hate the way I looked, but I guess the thought sort of crept in gradually, and before I knew it, I was insecure - and about 20 pounds heavier to boot!

I know you want your long hair back, but I want to encourage you to embrace the change. Looking back at photos of myself from that time, I think now that I looked great!


Several years later, I was married (and had gained even more weight) and was learning to love my appearance even if it wasn't what I remembered it to be. I woke up from a nap one day and had this thought that I wanted to shave off my hair. "Surely I'm more emotionally mature now than I was then, right?" I asked myself. I gave myself a week to ponder the change, and then my husband shaved it down to the scalp!

Now, I know not everyone wants to be bald - I'm not telling you that you should shave your hair. But - when I decided to get rid of my hair, I was overweight (about 25 or 30 pounds heavier than I am now), I didn't (and still don't) wear makeup, I didn't (and don't, of course) have the "facial bone structure" that everyone said was so important to have if a woman had no hair, and I didn't try to look ultra-feminine. I just got rid of the one feature to which I'd unknowingly hitched my self esteem for so long, simply to see how I'd feel about it. Spoiler alert: I felt great. Sometimes my head was cold, but I loved being bald. I also liked seeing how my natural hair grew back:

I didn't cut it for a full year, at which point my husband gave me a floppy, lazy mohawk:


I didn't wear hats or scarves, though I thought I might like to, and when I got tired of the uneven hair lengths, my husband cut the middle part to about the same length as the rest. It's been about 10 months or so since then, and I've let it grow again because it's been a while since I had long hair, and I'm too cheap to pay for a hair cut.

So anyway, I'm sharing this with you because, like I said earlier, I want to encourage you to love your hair and its story. Your hair is just part of your overall appearance, and it's transient, and sometimes it's neat to see what you can do with it just for the hell of the experience. I also "hid" behind long hair when I was heavier, and again, looking back at photos revealed that, while I looked fine, I wasn't fooling anyone into thinking I was thin and gorgeous just because my hair was beyond my shoulders. You're still the same person you were before you went to the salon, and you have a huge accomplishment (your weight loss) to be proud of, hairstyle be damned! Congratulations on reaching your goal, and I hope you come to love your haircut before it grows out. I bet it's cute!

- Becky

You are too cute!

Op you should watch a documentary called "Good Hair". It talks about the struggles black women go through to achieve the kind of look you are talking about. It may not be what you are going through but I walked away from it thinking 'I am more than just my hair'