Not usually a joiner...but here we are.

So I'm just going to let my thoughts take me where they will here. Let's see, my husband and I are back on the fitness wagon after a months-long hiatus, and this time...THIS time...

...sigh.

You know what? I don't know if this time is gonna be different. I've had so many starts and stops with losing weight and getting fit that I honestly can't count them. Nothing about this time seems special. I mean, I'm even doing the New Year's Resolution thing, the cliche being that this will all be over by February, right? I know I'm not coming at this from the most positive place and I don't mean to be a downer, but honestly I'm not excited, I'm irritated. I'm irritated with myself for not losing the weight before when I have the support and resources to do so. I'm irritated that I am not the kind of woman I want my daughter to grow up to be. And I'm irritated that weight loss is still taking up my energy. I'm sick of thinking about it; I want it resolved and out of my consciousness.

So in an attempt to transform general grumpiness into a fire in the belly, I'm doing everything I can. My husband and I are definitely changing our diet: how much we eat out, portion control, and drinking enough water and cutting out alcohol. I recently returned to my trainer and I am fitting exercise back into my routine. I am going to have the discipline to get enough sleep each night. Time must be and will be made daily for quiet relaxation/meditation. And I've joined MFP, because who you surround yourself with, even virtually, can so often determine your circumstances. I'm doing everything I can think of to do to achieve not just my weight loss goal, but to be the best version of myself possible, so that I can live the best version of my life possible. This isn't a journey with an end, this is what I want for the rest of my days.

And just like that, there it is. That's what's different about this time.
We all can, and will, do this.