Need major support... total changes necessary

Hi all,

My name is Chris and I have now reached the point where I must lose weight or die. I have already has congestive heart failure and many many other health issues. Doctors are ready to wash their hands of me since I have not cooperated with their advice for my weight. I am at the point where getting out of bed is a task that leaves me winded. I have two young daughters that I would like to see grow up and I am finally at the point where I am scared this may not happen. I am very set in my ways of stress eating and late night eating and eating very unhealthy comfort foods. This change is not going to be easy. Hopefully this may be my avenue out. Any and all support would be greatly appreciated.
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Replies

  • RedMuse
    RedMuse Posts: 50 Member
    Good morning!!

    Chris,

    First, congrats on making the decision to get healthy!
    Second, start small if you make too many changes to quickly, it can be overwhelming and lead you right back to the bad habits.
    There are sooo many good tips and advice in the forms.
    We all need support and motivation even the successful members still need a little support at times :)
    STOP eating fast food! If you only do one thing, this would be it! Portions are too big, filled with fat, sugar and sodium. Start cutting out soda another big factor. Lots of sugar and empty calories.
    My two cents. :)
  • KatK390
    KatK390 Posts: 3 Member
    Hello, my name is Kathy, I know what it is like to stress eat! I work a lot of crazy hours, and am so tired that I do not feel like cooking, and fast food is just that, fast, and easy. I love to eat, plain and simple, brings me comfort, but I have to quit this madness. How does one eat healthy on a strict budget and feel satisfied? Because of my job, I work 12 hours, and over nights, I am drained, I walk a lot at work, but I drink cokes, can't drink diet drinks, makes me real sick...help!
  • Moiraza
    Moiraza Posts: 7 Member
    There are many ways to do this and you have chosen MFP as the place you want to monitor this. Make this site your first log in place every day. Put up pictures (I know this can be painful at the beginning) and fill in your profile. Keep working on your profile every day until it reflects who you are and what you want to say. Fill in the whole of your profile. It will change from time to time if you are making it a place which is your support "home". Think of it as gardening, or keeping fresh flowers on the mantelpiece.

    Set a new goal every week - one that works for you. These can include logging everything every day honestly, drinking all your water, switching to eating off a small plate, asking yourself if you are actually hungry before you start eating, eating only fresh food, ... (read the site for inspiration and you will find you have enough "new goals" to add one a week for years.) Don't stop doing the 'old' goals.

    Read the blogs and the forums. Make friends. Log in EVERY day, even the bad days.
  • KatK390
    KatK390 Posts: 3 Member
    Think of your daughters and don't give up. I stress eat to. I have ignored doctors advice to, but I have decided I want to live better, I work in healthcare, I see things that can break your heart, and I don't want to be there, I want to try and change, I will try, and if I was to fail, I will try again!
  • love2bthin
    love2bthin Posts: 176 Member
    Welcome to MFP!!! You have taken the first step and have asked for help. You will find that the support and friendships you will make on here will help BIG TIME!!!. If you want to be able to take care of your daughters you need to take care of yourself. You can do this! We are here for you:smile:
  • I agree with RedMuse fast food and soda should be the first to go. Then increase your protein intake and decrease your unhealthy carbs (chips, sweets, etc). Keep eating healthy carbs, fruits (mostly berries) and green veggies. You need to start some sort of small exercise program. Could be as simple is going up and down some stairs, walking around the living room or walking to get the mail. Something.....then try to increase it in small it a small amount every day. You will be amazed at the progress you can make by small changes on a daily or weekly basis.
  • statickey
    statickey Posts: 309 Member
    Welcome! I love this site and I think you will too, as long as you make an effort to log in everyday. You can add me as a friend for support.
  • maz2469
    maz2469 Posts: 67 Member
    Echoing the above, well done on your first step to a more healthy you!

    Previous posters all have very valid points - small changes and realistic goals are key. Once I made the decision (I had a friend who initiated it but was not as strict with herself, her other half was where the problem lied there) I actually didn't find it too difficult which was a surprise. Even if you slip one day, two days, so long as you get back on it, all is fine.

    Find food that you actually like that isn't bad for you. If you don't like seeds and celery, don't force yourself seeds and celery!! You need to associate good feelings with this experience so it's a lifetime change. Our things we like include frozen skinless chicken breasts, frozen fish mixed with new pots or rice, peas and gravy/chosen sauce. We also stock frozen fish pies - I know frozen isn't ideal and prepared meals have the sodium thing, but sometimes with a limited budget and time, the odd fish pie really won't hurt.

    Other tips include:
    Yes, logging, is good. Even if you don't share or you go over, at least you can clearly see where your slipping!
    Eat little an often (portion control is key!).
    Identify your weaknesses food wise.
    Get the grease and sweet treats out of the house (these are highly addictive and I can't seem to find control if they're nearby but i'm fine in the shops now!).
    Find other treats you like (ours is frozen red grapes)
    Set yourself goals: short, medium and long term and appropriate rewards.
    Try and recruit a friend for support and motivation or generally just talk to people on MFP.
    Stick a pic of your girls on the fridge or a pic of you at a place where you were happy.


    I hope that helps and just remember to enjoy your journey. Exercise never feels easy - if it does you're not doing it right! And you'll always be lapping the person on the sofa. Actually another thing i do is get up early to exercise - that way I don't have time to change my mind or even think about it, i just do it!

    Good luck and remember why you're making these changes!

    Marie
  • monjacq1964
    monjacq1964 Posts: 291 Member
    Hi all,

    My name is Chris and I have now reached the point where I must lose weight or die. I have already has congestive heart failure and many many other health issues. Doctors are ready to wash their hands of me since I have not cooperated with their advice for my weight. I am at the point where getting out of bed is a task that leaves me winded. I have two young daughters that I would like to see grow up and I am finally at the point where I am scared this may not happen. I am very set in my ways of stress eating and late night eating and eating very unhealthy comfort foods. This change is not going to be easy. Hopefully this may be my avenue out. Any and all support would be greatly appreciated.

    if your physical situation is that dire, have you considered weight loss surgery?
  • hookandy
    hookandy Posts: 278 Member
    It has already be said to take photos, also measure. Remember the scales are only part of the story. If you have a week or even a month where the scales do not move, even if you are doing everything right, the tape may help restore some motivation.

    There is no magic bullet, but there is a long and steady path to where you want to get to. MFP is a tool to record what you eat and what you burn. It is a long term project, not a week or two quick fix.

    Good luck

    Move more, eat less
  • gettingmeback2013
    gettingmeback2013 Posts: 114 Member
    I would love to be there to help you on your journey. Friend request coming your way. :)
  • kathybro75
    kathybro75 Posts: 51 Member
    Hi there.

    Welcome to My Fitness Pal. My name is Kathy and I have been on here since Feb 2012. I like you was a comfort eater especially at night. Then I found this site and within a few days I had made a few really good like minded friends. I was soon quickly addicted and I log on here before I check emails or facebook. It's a very hard road to travel but I have found it a lot easier since joining here. Please add me for support and motivation. I'm here every day and I don't judge other peoples bad days. We all have those.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Genuine question, if you won't listen to your doctors, why would you listen to me?
  • Jerri11
    Jerri11 Posts: 12
    Welcome, Chris. I have only been on this site a couple of days but find the support amazing. Congratulations on making the decision for a healthy lifestyle. You can get there and you did the hardest part, you decided to make it happen! There is a lot of support and great advice here.
  • deb3129
    deb3129 Posts: 1,294 Member
    Congrats to you for deciding to come here and take charge. It is not easy, but it IS worth it. I was almost to the point that you are when I started this. I did not have congestive heart failure, but I was headed downhill fast. I weighed 338 pounds and was so exhausted I was dragging myself through every day miserable. But a visit to the doctor for something relatively minor was the final straw for me. He put me on medicine for acid reflux, and it somehow clicked in my head that if I did not change my ways I was going to end up on a ton of medicine that I could have avoided if I had taken care of myself. I have now lost 115 pounds, and though I still have a ways to go, I feel FANTASTIC. Just make small changes to start with, you do not have to overhaul everything overnight. Start walking as far as you can. It may be to the end of your block, or around the block. When I started I could barely make a mile, and my legs and knees kept me awake aching at night. Drink more water, and make more healthy food choices. Don't get overwhelmed by how much you have to lose, just set small goals to start with. It will be worth it!
  • Itsallbs15
    Itsallbs15 Posts: 262 Member
    Good Morning, Chris. To start, read this forum http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12. It helped me with making some changes to the way I was eating and to put my focus in other areas. You definitely made the right move by joininng this site. There are very knowledgable people here who will do what they can to give you motivation. Best of luck. Friend request will be sent momentarily.
    BRENDA
  • gettingmeback2013
    gettingmeback2013 Posts: 114 Member
    emanyalpsid, by joining MFP, he has taken a step in listening to his doctors.
  • monjacq1964
    monjacq1964 Posts: 291 Member
    Good Morning, Chris. To start, read this forum http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12. It helped me with making some changes to the way I was eating and to put my focus in other areas. You definitely made the right move by joininng this site. There are very knowledgable people here who will do what they can to give you motivation. Best of luck. Friend request will be sent momentarily.
    BRENDA

    it says that link is not valid
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It's great that you have two lovely daughters to keep you motivated!

    I totally get the comfort food thing. When dieting in the past, I'd thought as many do, that you have to cut out everything you love and that's why I always failed. This time I've made sure to include all the foods I love, just in smaller portions and in healthier versions. And like others have said, set small goals and take it one day, week, month at a time. Trip up a bit? No biggee, just get back to it right away and you'll be fine. We all have the off meal or day now and then.

    Not sure what you're snacking on but say you like eating chips while watching TV. Ok, how about popcorn instead? It's still crunchy and you could even salt it a bit and it's much better for you. You can even go the easy route and get those 100 calorie bags so you can still sit and mindlessly eat but not worry about the calories. If you like to play around with flavors though, air pop your own and add different spices. If you still want chips, that's ok too but don't sit with the whole bag, take just a portion out and put it in a bowl and go eat that while watching TV. Better yet, portion out the bag into snack baggies when you bring it home from the store.

    Here's another option. Say you like lasagna with meatsauce for dinner. Ok, so cut down a little on the meat and get the leanest cut (90% or better). No need to use ground turkey if you don't like it. Make your own sauce with tons of veggies in it. If you don't like the texture of them, puree the sauce. Use reduced fat cheese and cut out at least one layer of lasagna noodles.

    If you really don't want to change the recipes you're currently using, then just make sure you keep your portions low and fill up with veggies or a salad on the side. There's really no need to starve yourself, just make smarter choices to use your calories in the best way possible.

    Best of luck to you!!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Good Morning, Chris. To start, read this forum http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12. It helped me with making some changes to the way I was eating and to put my focus in other areas. You definitely made the right move by joininng this site. There are very knowledgable people here who will do what they can to give you motivation. Best of luck. Friend request will be sent momentarily.
    BRENDA

    The link isn't working due to the period at the end of the sentence being included. Try this:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
    feel free to add me chris. I am in a constant battle w/ stress eating and comfort food. I am winning right now but that could flip on a dime. Watch portions, it sucks at 1st but i promise your body will get used to normal portions. when i binge i get nauseous now. log log log...even the bad days even the binges. it helps you keep urself accountable. Good luck. there is a supportive bunch of people out here. I have many of them on my friends list.
  • TreeHugger2013
    TreeHugger2013 Posts: 65 Member
    First of all, welcome to the site! That is a step in the right direction and the fact that you are reaching out to people is another good thing. This site is amazing for support! Friend request on the way!
  • I added you as a friend. When you have kiddies involved.....that gets me where I live.

    Im doing the mens health belly off right now. I just started this week.

    Basically we have to start by finding some way to rid ourselves of the"cheap" carbs....for me that means white bread, alcohol, and pasta. Consider it poison if that helps. Im starting to hate the fact that white bread and sodas ever existed.

    I am doing a 2 minute drill every morning. Bodyweight calisthenics for 15 second intervals. It wears you out but it wakes you up and gets you burning.

    See if you can start with me to this point.............eliminate cheap sugars and give me 2 minutes in the morning. After that, I can call you, and we can get our jog/walk on.

    I promise you this weight is coming off. Both our lives and our families are depending on us.
  • cici1028
    cici1028 Posts: 799 Member
    Hi Chris! Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like support! Congratulations on getting motivated to change your life. You CAN do it. The main thing I learned about losing weigh is that you have to get ok with being uncomfortable. I know that I used to use food to comfort myself and you just need to be antsy or agitated until you learn to tell yourself no!

    Like most people said, it's all about baby steps. Ease into it. Start small by just counting your calories and seeing what you're actually taking in for the day. Then maybe start with a small walk every other day. Then start changing your diet... measure and portion control to stay within your calories, exercise to start earning more food for the day!

    Snacking while watching TV is my downfall. I found not watching TV helped... but if that isn't an option, try a different snack. Carrots are crunch and delicious. So is airpopped popcorn (no butter or "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray... try some cajun spices or pepper to add some kick.

    Try a subscription to Cooking Light (or check it out online) for delicious recipes that are better for you. No need to change every little thing all at once. Seeing successes with your small changes will motivate you to make more! Best of luck to you, my friend. Your daughters need you!
  • magicherry
    magicherry Posts: 81 Member
    Welcome, Chris! You can do it! Set small goals, take it one step at a time.

    You. Can. Do. This.
  • nashbear
    nashbear Posts: 131 Member
    I have found this blog to be very helpful and encouraging.

    http://www.300poundsdown.com/page/12

    I also read the success stories daily. I find it very uplifting and motivational.

    Now to quote the person from the blog above.

    30 seconds is all it takes to change your life.

    You can do this. Congratulations on the first step and the first 30 seconds.
  • karolynnc411
    karolynnc411 Posts: 25 Member
    Hi Chris!

    My name is Karolynn and your story hit home for me. My father is in the exact same position except both my brother and I are in our 20s now. He has never listened to the doctors' advice and is paying for it now - but still will not and refuses to change his ways. He knows what he is supposed to do but he just doesn't do it because it's "too hard."

    I want to congratulate you on making the decision to lose weight and join MFP. I have been on and off of this site for a long time, but have found that every time I use it, I stick to it and lose the weight. My advice to you would be not only to have this place be the first thing you log on to in the morning, but to add it to your homepages in your browser or make it your homepage. That way, when you open the internet, it will be one of the first things you see and you will be reminded to log your food/exercise for that day. This has helped me a lot.

    If you need anything, feel free to message any of us and we will be sure to help :)
  • reneepugh
    reneepugh Posts: 522 Member
    I have high bp and doc told me I have to lose weight too. You can do this. Friend me if you like. ;-)
  • TheKidd2013
    TheKidd2013 Posts: 60 Member
    Welcome ! I'm glad you have made the right decision to help yourself and Congrats! So far (I'm fairly a newbie) I am loving it! Most everyone I've become buddies with have been nothing but encouraging and helpful throughout this process so far and hope you find that connection as well! This site is a great start to a new beginning for you! Small baby steps and this is to me was the first step to a great journey, a tough one but everyone here is there to encourages you along the way! Please feel free to add me if you like!
  • I have not listened to my doctors in the past. I am now. I am also seeking support wherever I can fine it. I know I can't do this alone. Sooner or later I think we all come to the realization that we are mortal and can't continue to live our lives the way we "want" to. Finding myself unable to participate in activities with my two daughters has brought reality crashing in on me.