Need major support... total changes necessary

Hi
If YOU are ready, then YOU will succeed. Sounds like you are ready. Check out some of the success stories in the forum - they will inspire you and show what can be done. Especially Ed Davenport - he is just incredible.

Small steps, be honest with your diary, log everything, get a set of digital scales to weight your food. Review your diary, think about what you could have done better - and do it. Get some exercise - even if it is just walking a short distance. Each day do a little more. Drink plenty of water. Cut back on processed stuff. Increase vegies and fruit. Try and eat to your target.

You have started what will be a lifelong change for your health. If you falter, just get back up and keep going.

Good luck Chris

Hi Chris! Welcome to MFP.

The thing I figured out along the way is that to be successful you don't have to be perfect. You have a bad day, don't stress. The next morning you've got a brand new diary page to work on! I stick to my allotted calories and allow myself one cheat meal a week. The only thing I have completely cut out of my diet is high calorie drinks (switched to flavored water). With anything else, I can figure out a portion size that will fit into my calories or save it for my cheat meal on Saturday. Find lots of low cal snacks and stock up. You don't have to live on seeds and berries. Patience is the most important part. At some point the weight will not come off as fast as you want. Don't give up when you get to this point. It takes time but persistence will pay off. All you have to do is be healthier than you were before you started.

I have not listened to my doctors in the past. I am now. I am also seeking support wherever I can fine it. I know I can't do this alone. Sooner or later I think we all come to the realization that we are mortal and can't continue to live our lives the way we "want" to. Finding myself unable to participate in activities with my two daughters has brought reality crashing in on me.

Glad to hear it. I'm not really the motivational or supportive type, but I do have a little advice. Start slow, go slow. It took you a very, very long time to get to your current weight. You will sabotage your efforts if you try to force your body to be rid of it all at once. A friend told me that weight loss is like a seat-belt - - if you jerk it hard and quickly, it stops; but if you ease up and pull gently, it moves quite nicely.

Find a good, healthy calorie target, log all of your food, eat what you like, and just see how things go. Measure more than just scale weight, too; measure your waist, arms, thighs and neck. You will need those baselines when you get discouraged - - you'll be able to see progress continuing on your measurements even when they sometimes plateau on the scale. Take some candid and honest photos so that you can compare your "today" to your "then" . . . I've done that and, when I get discouraged, I can look at me "then" and think about how proud he is of me "now", even if me-now is still working on things.

No fads, no gimmicks, no pills, cleanses, or psycho workout routines. Just start with the diet, and things will gradually fall into place for you.

Great advice already.

Late night eating. Stop and think about what is going in your mouth, and why. Is that wonderful tasting cake worth your kids not having you around when they are walking down the aisle?

You can do it if you want to!

I have not listened to my doctors in the past. I am now. I am also seeking support wherever I can fine it. I know I can't do this alone. Sooner or later I think we all come to the realization that we are mortal and can't continue to live our lives the way we "want" to. Finding myself unable to participate in activities with my two daughters has brought reality crashing in on me.

Glad to hear it. I'm not really the motivational or supportive type, but I do have a little advice. Start slow, go slow. It took you a very, very long time to get to your current weight. You will sabotage your efforts if you try to force your body to be rid of it all at once. A friend told me that weight loss is like a seat-belt - - if you jerk it hard and quickly, it stops; but if you ease up and pull gently, it moves quite nicely.

Find a good, healthy calorie target, log all of your food, eat what you like, and just see how things go. Measure more than just scale weight, too; measure your waist, arms, thighs and neck. You will need those baselines when you get discouraged - - you'll be able to see progress continuing on your measurements even when they sometimes plateau on the scale. Take some candid and honest photos so that you can compare your "today" to your "then" . . . I've done that and, when I get discouraged, I can look at me "then" and think about how proud he is of me "now", even if me-now is still working on things.

No fads, no gimmicks, no pills, cleanses, or psycho workout routines. Just start with the diet, and things will gradually fall into place for you.

Some great advice you have been given Chris - this one resonates with me - so sensible. I love the seat belt analogy.

Hope you are feeling good about your decision - this will be day two for you, many more good days to come

Genuine question, if you won't listen to your doctors, why would you listen to me?

This is a valid point however I feel the OP needs a little more friendly support from people going through the same struggles who can regularly encourage him and provide advice from personal experience. Doctors can't always provide this. I guess we all need this as human beings. We all know the facts, the data, the 'right thing' to do, however people still struggle to lose weight. Actually, I don't think we struggle to lose weight - that is the easy part - we struggle with sticking to the behaviors that ensure we lose weight (eating smaller portions, staying away from comfort foods, exercising regularly).

I believe, for me anyway, the key is to fire off the reward centers in our brain with things other than food. Very hard to do but as eating for comfort was a learned behavior, so can rewarding ourselves with other things in life be learned, we can learn new things all the time, we just have to have faith and believe we can do it. As many others have said, a great way is starting with small changes. No one came out of the womb and ordered a triple cheeseburger, large fries and a coke! The portions increased over time and the taste of certain favorite foods was acquired over time, many people have their 'vice' food. How did this happen? Most probably gradually and in response to the reward center that was activated when these foods were eaten. I really believe you can do this Chris, you have to believe it too - remember what you have learned already, the behaviors were just that - behaviors and you CAN learn new behaviors, all humans can.

All the best to you, you can do it!

I agree that you need to start out small, or you will just get fed up and quit. There is a binge eating support group in the "groups" section that I think you will find helpful. I have problems with rewarding myself with food, and I find the monthly binge challenge motivating. Also, having supportive friends on MFP to cheer you and encourage you is key. Feel free to add me for support and encouragement!

Chris,
Your story really speaks to me. I want to say congrats to you because obliviously like the rest of us, you would not be here on the board if you weren't concerned for your health and weight. Heres a little bit from my past: I was 16 and seriously overweight, I was being tormented on a daily basis at school. People made mooing cow sounds as I would walk down the hallway. The other students would kick my desk and tell me to move because they were saving that seat for someone...then they would say "Awww come on big girl, if you'll move Ill buy you a cheeseburger" I was badly depressed & needed help so much. I went with my mom, who wanted to lose weight as well, to Healthy Weigh & to a doctors appointment. Her health was spiraling out of control and we both needed help fast. Healthy Weigh rejected me because I was not 18 at the time. As my mom was finishing her assessment. I looked to the mirrors they had on the walls. The sight was horrendous. It was like really seeing myself for the first time. I had became a disaster. I saw the fat spilling over, I saw the cellulite. I saw everything that day and I knew I had to do something. Back to the Healthy Weigh center, well my Mom said if I couldn't join, she wouldn't either. We teamed up and I went on to lose 100lbs & 50 for her. Of course life happens and I'm overweight right now but its no where the horror I put my body through back then. I have a food allergy & lactose intolerance and it has really put a damper on my figure. I just want to say don't let any doctor make you feel like a lost cause. Don't let anyone tell you its pointless to lose weight. You are still living and have those that love you and need you. Stick with a plan, and make changes each day. Make changes your body will thank you for. Good Luck, and if you need to chat I'm here!