Seeking advice/support/swift kick in the *kitten*

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This is my second attempt at MFP. In the past 20 years my weight has fluctuated between 115 and 220, and it has rarely stayed at the same place for more than about 2 years. (If you look up yo-yo diet in the dictionary, I'm sure you'll see my photo) I have suffered from anorexia, binge eating disorder and have flirted with bulimia. I want to be strong and fit and healthy, but at the same time I want to be lean and mean, and then there's part of me that wants to be thin. I tend to have an all-or-nothing attitude towards everything, really (I have been known to spend too much money, another sign of my addictive personality). I am not a stupid person, but I just can't seem to move from the thought phase to the do phase. I lost 25 pounds last year with the help of MFP but I have put it all back on.
Right now I am finding myself in a rough place, physically and mentally. I am in restrict mode with respect to my eating, which I know is the wrong thing to do, but I can't get my head out of that thought pattern.
Please: add me, help me, knock some sense into me!
Thanks in advance for anyone who has read this.

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  • Icanredefinemyself
    Icanredefinemyself Posts: 56 Member
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    I can relate on a few points (variation in weights, all or nothingness) although I can't offer any advice on the B/P or anorexia. Even at my lowest weight (110lbs in 1992 at age 19) I got to that weight by diet shakes (Herbalife) and exercise. BUT... I get ya! I know the need for redemption. For me, I feel comfortable sharing my diary (but do what works for YOU) and welcome thoughts or advice about what I am eating. I'm in a really low place also right now but am focused on getting my Whole Self back together. I know any old bad habits or rushing to lose as fast as I can doesn't serve me any more. I'm doing slow and steady. I'm journalling in a private journal all my thoughts about digging myself out, mentally. I have counselling support, doctor support and am slowly migrating on that path back to my best self. I invite you to join me =)