I'm carrying around a 10-12 year old in "extra weight"

Hi, I'm a mother of 2, married 18 years and have struggled with my weight since my first pregnancy 15 years ago. I gain, lose, gain more, and now I weigh as much as I did when I went in to deliver my last child and I'm NOT pregnant! It's time for this to end and end for good. I'm about 80 lbs overweight, that's a school-age child. That's more than my 9 yr old weighs. It's time for me to lose this kid I'm carrying around daily!

I think the image of me carrying a child helps me stay motivated, because when you carry a child, it's tiresome, it's a burden and while you "love" the child you carry, there's a part of you that is so happy when it can begin to walk and then you only carry it part time. Then eventually, you're free of carrying it at all. Well, I realized today that it's time to be FREE of carrying this child, especially since I don't love the extra rolls and pounds...I have just gotten "comfortable" with them. Well, It's time for me to experience the freedom of just carrying me!

I need friends on this journey, motivating, encouraging and tush-kicking when needed friends. The diary is visible to friends to see, so I need to have people who even if they don't look, I have the motivation to know "they are watching" and will say "hey why did you eat that donut this morning?" (especially since it was dried out and not worth the calories! Ugh!).