Menopause PLEASE help

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Sepa
Sepa Posts: 243 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all, thank you for taking the time to read this post.

My mum is currently going through the menopause (although the drs dont agree) her symptoms are irregular period (when it is always regular) night sweats, hot flushes, feeling achy but not in real pain, more like the type that makes you not really want to move. She is also sleepy, i wouldnt say that she is suffering with depression but going through this and not having the drs listening to her is getting her down. Obviously this is my mum and i wish to try and help her in any way that i can.

Basically, i want to know of any ways that those who have been through it or are going through it manage the symptoms. Did you find that eating or not eating certain things help? Exercise? Drinks? anything that i could pass on for her to try would be really appreciated.

Thanks all for reading :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,039 Member
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    There is a great book that changed my life as i was in the final throes of menopause "The Menopause Makeover"... I also adapted the Dukan Diet ...but the book has a great diet as well.

    Every ones menopause experience is different...i got thru it without nedical intrvention, but others need hormine treatment. The main thing to remeber is protein is our friend as is water and as much yoga and walking as you have time for. The hot flashes and sudden gloomy feelings are mind over matter. I leaned heavily on playing a musical instrument to get me through.
  • Sepa
    Sepa Posts: 243 Member
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    Thank you for taking the time to reply, i will have a look into this book and maybe purchace it for my mumma!
  • Melarie59
    Melarie59 Posts: 44
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    sounds like menopause to me..or pre-menopause. I have been on hormone replacement therapy...smallest dose that manages symptoms..my biggest problem was NOT being able to sleep. There are more natural ways to treat the symptoms too. Your mom might go to a good health food store and inquire there. Those folks are often very knowledgable. Has your mom ( mum) been to a gynecologist or just a GP? There are many books at the library on the subject and lots on the internet too. Sometimes the info is overwhelming. Oh, one other thing...menopause DOES affect your moods greatly...depression is sometimes a big problem for women, as their hormones are so out of whack. Good luck to your mom...SO fun being a woman sometimes!

    Marylynn
  • Sepa
    Sepa Posts: 243 Member
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    She hasnt been to a gyno (she gets embarrassed with things like that) just been to gp who have run blood tests and they say she isnt in menopause. I just bought the book that PKW58 recommended so hopefully that will give her some help. Lots of women also said that it really helped them and the people they live with
  • go2grrl
    go2grrl Posts: 190 Member
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    How old is your mom? If she's still having periods then she's more likely to be in late perimenopause. That's where I've been stuck at in the last year and I'm 51. It's a hellish limbo. Exercise helps keep stress low which then keeps hot flashes low. But everyone is different. Has she had her thyroid checked? If not she might want to ask her dr to check her TSH as well as her T3 and T4 levels. Some hypothyroid symptoms are comparable to perimenopause symptoms. I've been blessed with both :) Good luck to your mom and you're a marvelous daughter for trying to help her out!
  • Sepa
    Sepa Posts: 243 Member
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    Not sure if she has had her thyroid checked. I will ask her when i next speak with her. Yes she is still getting her periods at very random intervals like on for a day then off then back on a few days later. Its also lighter than what it was too. Thanks for all your comments. It is really appreciated!
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    For me, eating higher protein and good healthy fats, while lowering my sugar and simple white carbs, has done wonders for my body aches and pains, as well as moods swings. I sleep better as well. Also, regular exercise helps a lot. Gets the endorphins going, better cardio health, better sleep, so many benefits.
    It is very sweet of you to be trying to help your mom.
  • Sepa
    Sepa Posts: 243 Member
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    Oh and my mum is 48!
  • suenix24
    suenix24 Posts: 121 Member
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    The hot flashes and lack of sleep can get to some people. I was thrown into it hardcore with the removal of my ovaries. I do not take any hormones. It is easy to stay in bed when feeling like crap and in pain. Each day it gets easier to stay in bed a little longer. So get your mom up and moving. I have some nights where I cannot sleep and I am having hot flash after hot flash, nothing you can do but let it happen. I drink lots of water and try my best to stay really active during the day and read a little at night to help me sleep.

    If she is in pain and is having irregular bleeding, she should see her gyne. It could be other things like endometriosis or fibroids. Can her PCP do an exam on her. Ignoring the symptoms do not make them go away, so try your best to get her to a gyne to make sure that it is only menopause. If it is depression, she needs help with that also. Good luck to you and your mom. She is luck to have such a caring daughter.
  • charlena48
    charlena48 Posts: 192 Member
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    My experience: I believe I started going through menopause in my late 30's. In my late 40's my gynocologist [a man] told me I was too young!! He retired and probably a year or so later I was done. I am 50 and have had no periods for 4-5 yrs. My grandma and mother both went through it early and I think that has something to do with it. I remember being sluggish in the afternoons at work and I would go get a Coke to drink - just incredibly sleepy. Eating right, appropriate sleep and just general taking care of yourself are very important. Don't take a warm/hot bath late at night - it heats up the body and makes it harder to sleep. I do not have very many hotflashes, night sweats etc. I went to a female dr. and we discussed hormone replacement therapy and decided I would not need it. Everyone is different - these are some things I remember or advice [warm bath] I was given by a nurse.
  • barbaramitchell101
    barbaramitchell101 Posts: 360 Member
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    yes for sure check with a "gyno dr", as u guys call it...20 yrs ago I had a hysterectomy because of a uterine/bladder prolapse...I also had huge fibroids..they took out the uterus/cervex/one ovary/and my appendix....when I started getting hot flashes, my sister-in-law recommended PROGESTERONE CREAM, which I found at the health food store...it's a little pricey but it goes a long way...I used this for years and had NO MORE SYMPTOMS....however my GP asked me about it last year, and said that if I had a hysterectomy that this was not appropriate, and put me on hormone therapy...I am almost 62 now...and going fine on this...I have other health issues, but at least I don't have this to deal with anymore.... hope she feels better soon
  • dittmarml
    dittmarml Posts: 351 Member
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    Any significant change in menstrual health is worth checking out...sorry she's embarrassed but the best advice you can give her is to acknowledge her embarrassment then firmly suggest it's time to see an OBGYN if her regular doctor is just doing blood tests. Any number of problems could be "masquerading" as perimenopause.

    I understand it can be very difficult for some women. Is there a female OBGYN in the area? Sometimes this makes it easier.

    Her health and life are at issue, not her embarrassment. I respect your desire to help your mother but frankly the internet is a poor substitute for a thorough evaluation.
  • larnsperger
    larnsperger Posts: 161 Member
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    Perimenopause/menopause is different for all of us. I would say your mum is probably suffering through it now. It can take years to get through all of it but it isn't all so unbearable. My doctor said it's like a 10 year process of the body slowly working to shut down the ovaries and it is an ever changing landscape. As far as natural remedies, I found walking helped both physically and emotionally. I would think any kind of physical activity would help alleviate some of the symptoms. Hot flashes and disrupted sleep were the worse for me. If you ask my family I'm sure they would say it was my crappy mood. LOL As for body aches, I had those seemed like I always felt as if I was on the verge of "getting something" turned out I was extremely Vitamin D deficient. I went on a Vitamin D supplement and I feel like a totally new person. Vitamin D deficiency is more common as we age and especially if you don't get about 20 minutes of sunlight a day or live in the northern hemisphere. Hope this helps! What a great daughter you are!
  • sharonpink
    sharonpink Posts: 76 Member
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    I've been going through it for about six years now - my mom's lasted 10 years. I can't take meds because I had a TIA when I was 40. For me there really has been no managing it, other than to say that I have just struggled with it. Some days/weeks are better than others and I think I have crossed over the worst of it. My sweats only come at night now and I don't have hot flashes during the day any more, except for once in a great while. Exercising helps with the symptoms some.
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
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    Two of my friends are OB/GYN Nurse Practitioners. They see a lot of women who are intimidated and/or embarrassed to see a GYN doctor. I don't know where you are or how your healthcare system works, but maybe this option is available. Your mother will feel better when she has a better understanding of the problem. I agree that she should be seen by a specialist. I also have family members who refuse to be seen, so I feel your pain. On a personal note, I'm 55 and still in Peri-Menopause. It's a very individual experience.
  • MFPLynne
    MFPLynne Posts: 39 Member
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    I love this thread. Thanks @sepa for asking the question.

    I am 43 and know it is coming. Can already recognize changes. Nice to read from others that I have been there.
  • Sepa
    Sepa Posts: 243 Member
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    Thank you so much for all your responses. I have just spoken with my mum and told her she needs to see a gyno. I will work on her over the next few days. Totally unrelated - I have arthritis and the drs said there was no indication in my bloods about this it wasn't till I saw a specialist who told me that I do have arthritis and acually if the drs had taken the right tests then they would have also seen that I am high risk of developing the type I have now into rhumatoid arthritis - I reminded my mum of this and will be what will hopefully get her to see the specialist too!
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,039 Member
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    Thank you so much for all your responses. I have just spoken with my mum and told her she needs to see a gyno. I will work on her over the next few days. Totally unrelated - I have arthritis and the drs said there was no indication in my bloods about this it wasn't till I saw a specialist who told me that I do have arthritis and acually if the drs had taken the right tests then they would have also seen that I am high risk of developing the type I have now into rhumatoid arthritis - I reminded my mum of this and will be what will hopefully get her to see the specialist too!

    Good for you in persisting inseeking the right medical treatment !
  • AnnaMarieDinVa
    AnnaMarieDinVa Posts: 162 Member
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    I may be able to help you. I am your mum's age, and I am in the middle of menopause, according to my doctor. I have not had any symptoms whatsoever, so I didn't even think I was in menopause, but my doctor (who is really good, and also my age) said that I was. I asked her why I didn't have any symptoms, because other people my age are suffering quite a bit. She said it was because I am a vegetarian and eat a lot of soy products. Apparently soy beans have estrogen that alleviates menopause symptoms. Who knew? I'm not telling your mum to become a vegetarian, but have her try eating more soy: tofu, dry roasted edamame, add fresh edamame to salads, drink soy milk. As I said, I am in the middle of full-on menopause and I feel the same as I did 20 years ago. I really hopes this helps your mum. Regardless, she is fortunate to have you for a daughter.

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