Self Control

Self control. I have none when it comes to eating. The only way I can not eat junk is to stay away from it. I can't do moderation. It never works for me. I get so frustrated. I have this need to eat everything. I cant just have a serving of chips. I eat the whole bag. Even if I'm full. I eat until I feel sick. I just eat, period. Ugh.

Where do you find the self control to stop eating? What can I do to remind myself to just stop? I have grown to hate food so much. I wish so much I could eat food normally. I chew each bite only so I can take the next, and the next, and the next. Every time I lose a little weight, I binge until I gain it back with in days. It's just getting so unmanageable.

Sorry for being such a downer. Just having a super hard time right now.
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Replies

  • Lady_Bane
    Lady_Bane Posts: 720 Member
    Mind over matter. It sounds simple, but its the truth.
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
    have you tried dishing food out into portions in advance? I just ordered food containers off of amazon (36 for $16 I think, they're like the soup containers you get from Chinese restaurants) and you can get a bag of chips and portion them out. when you're in the mood for something, grab a container, and be on your merry way. :)
  • baker150
    baker150 Posts: 112 Member
    Do you drink enough water? If you drink a LOT it will keep you more satisfied after eating a single serving of chips or whatever else you snack on. When I first started losing weight, I stayed away from EVERYTHING! Because I was the same, I knew if I had a little bit I'd just binge and ruin everything. But I've gradually started having small amounts of the "bad stuff" because I love junk food lol. And if you do happen to binge, just work out a bit more! :)
  • rebelchief
    rebelchief Posts: 37 Member
    If I'm going to eat something I make the serving size and set up the whole meal/snack... NO snacking while you're making your food!

    I've also heard drinking tons of water will trick your stomach into thinking it's fuller.

    A few years ago I actually wore a rubber band around my wrist and every time I wanted to eat something I knew I shouldn't, I flicked it. And I flicked it until I changed my mind.
  • MandaJean83
    MandaJean83 Posts: 675 Member
    I have the same issue, girl. The only thing that works for me is to not start eating it in the first place. It's all or nothing, which is ridiculous, but that's the way my mind works. And if you can resist it one day, and you feel that proudness inside, it makes it easier to resist the next day and so on....

    My weaknesses are sweets and chips...Yum. I have literally stopped buying doritos completely. They are like crack to me. I always say "Just one more chip..." and then BAM the rest of the bag is gone. LOL

    Add me if you'd like, we share the same issues. It's hindering my progress also!
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I try not to think of it as "self-control" because that leads me to feeling like a failure when I splurge. It's easier when I take my time between bites and pay attention to how I feel.

    I agree with pre-portioning your meal. I do that with whatever I'm eating (when I can). If I want seconds, I wait twenty minutes. If I'm still hungry, I go back for a third of the original serving. Usually that's enough. But learning how to differentiate between eating because I'm hungry and just eating because it feels good takes time. You will learn, just be patient in the meantime.

    Also, it doesn't mean that you are weak if you keep certain foods out of the house. That's just smart eating - many of us do this and are greatly helped by it.
  • I haven't tried making the individual portions. Honetsly, sometimes the junk food doesn't even make it into the house from the store because I ate in all in the car. :/
  • I have the same issue, girl. The only thing that works for me is to not start eating it in the first place. It's all or nothing, which is ridiculous, but that's the way my mind works. And if you can resist it one day, and you feel that proudness inside, it makes it easier to resist the next day and so on....

    My weaknesses are sweets and chips...Yum. I have literally stopped buying doritos completely. They are like crack to me. I always say "Just one more chip..." and then BAM the rest of the bag is gone. LOL

    Add me if you'd like, we share the same issues. It's hindering my progress also!

    This!! Exactly. All or nothing for me too!
  • Sounds like your eating like this has nothing to do with being hungry or full. How are you for exercise? Can you go outside and take walks? How about time for yourself? Just you? Do you ever get that? I see from your profile you are a mom of young children, and I know that can get hard sometimes if you aren't getting some breaks to recharge yourself.

    Maybe try to do something for yourself, spend a couple hours with a girlfriend, go try a new activity, try to get out and walk when you feel like a binge. I don't know really what will be the best for you, but I do think something like these things might be a help.

    Hang in there, you are here, and that's a huge step. Try not to beat yourself up, even when you make a mistake, move on, the minute you realize, might take small victories for awhile, but any victory is a victory. And for now- remove the foods that are hardest for you to stay away from. It's not weak to have to do that, it's knowing yourself and your triggers and doing something about it.

    :flowerforyou:
  • floridagirl7264
    floridagirl7264 Posts: 318 Member
    I'm the same way. I have trouble controlling it too. What does help though, if you want to try it, is to not eat anything straight from the bag or container. In other words, take a portion out and put the bag back. Then get out of the kitchen. I also buy things already in individual packages. It's more expensive but definitely worth it. :flowerforyou:
  • Sounds like your eating like this has nothing to do with being hungry or full. How are you for exercise? Can you go outside and take walks? How about time for yourself? Just you? Do you ever get that? I see from your profile you are a mom of young children, and I know that can get hard sometimes if you aren't getting some breaks to recharge yourself.

    Maybe try to do something for yourself, spend a couple hours with a girlfriend, go try a new activity, try to get out and walk when you feel like a binge. I don't know really what will be the best for you, but I do think something like these things might be a help.

    Hang in there, you are here, and that's a huge step. Try not to beat yourself up, even when you make a mistake, move on, the minute you realize, might take small victories for awhile, but any victory is a victory. And for now- remove the foods that are hardest for you to stay away from. It's not weak to have to do that, it's knowing yourself and your triggers and doing something about it.



    No time for me really. I'm getting better about exercise. I do think much of the problem is emotional. I guess food is my crack rock.
  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    For me i write everything I will eat in a day in advanced . that way I can't cheat...because it's written in ink. My brain is weird that way but it has helped me resist the urge to over snack.

    also I try limiting the amount of snacks I buy and tell myself that this is all I get for the month so make it last.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    It may have to do more with dealing with emotional issues than self-control. There are probably some underlying issues that are causing you to eat in such an unhealthy way. If I'm not careful, I'll turn to food for emotional comfort, especially when stressed. I'm still working on this one. Like others have said, pay attention to how you feel when you're eating, and immediately before and see if you can spot triggers.
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    Honestly, logging has helped me. It forces me to measure how much I've eaten and be accountable for it. I think part of that also falls into the category of portioning things out that people have been discussing. If I don't portion, I don't know how much I'm eating and I can't log. I also am aware if I'm "mindlessly eating" like just eating chips from the bag or eating while watching TV. Portioning keeps me from just eating and eating. Also, slowing down and enjoying my food. I'm a very fast eater and really slowing myself down and indulging when I'm eating "bad foods" helps me out significantly. Food is fantastic and you should relish every bite!

    As far as staying satiated is concerned, think high fiber, high protein, and high volume foods (bag of lettuce take a lot more space in your stomach than a few chips).

    I would also suggest seeing if your eating patterns have any kind of emotional link. Do you eat when you're frustrated, bored, or feeling sad? Just something to think about.

    Also, I didn't check your diary, but you may have your calorie goals set too low. When I undereat, I get soooo damn hungry that I just binge. For some people too little food is 1200 calories and for others it's 1600 calories. You just need to listen to what your body is telling you.
  • I can totally relate,,, its basically a addiction,,, emotional, psychological,,, I think for me,, once I get to the bottom of whats really eating me,, not so much what I am eating,, I wont be trying to fill this uncontrollable void inside me,,finding ways to love myself,, take care of myself,, its a constant struggle and a daily effort,,, I have been thinking of going to overeaters annon,,, maybe you should too,, it may help us,,good luck!
  • skrakalaka
    skrakalaka Posts: 338 Member
    I suck at quoting. Anyway, I was going to say that as long as I don't have that first taste I am fine. Which means avoiding junk completely, not buying it, not letting it in the house. That takes way less self control than stopping at just one, IMO.
  • cmdoiy
    cmdoiy Posts: 122 Member
    OP: I could have written your post. I am exactly the same way you are. I can eat a bag of cookies or chips or chocolate in the car--then I need to hide all the evidence by throwing the trash out in a public waste can so no one knows that I'm out of control.

    I've figured that if I really want to eat something, I'll buy a smaller portion of it and eat that. I'm also trying not to eat in the car anymore.

    The past week has been pretty good. I don't feel the need to stuff myself with a bunch of junk. I think it's a vicious cycle: if I eat some junk, then my body keeps wanting the junk. And my thought at that point is, "F*** it--I already ate the McDonald's--I might as well have some cookies and candy too." Then I'm out of control and no longer conscious of what I'm doing. It's only after I'm faced with the empty wrappers and bags that I realize what I've done.

    I think my overeating is an addiction as well. I tried Overeaters Anonymous several years ago, but it didn't really work for me (but then again, I don't feel like I really gave it a good shot.) You might want to check out some of Laurel Mellin's books on the connection between emotions and overeating. She suggests doing feelings checks and then determining what your true needs are (and usually, it's not food).

    Anyone on this thread with the same issues--please friend me so we can support one another.
  • lamby284
    lamby284 Posts: 167 Member
    I had to find enough self respect to stop overeating. It is definitely a mental issue rather than physical. You have to be really aware of what you are eating. I had to constantly ask myself if i was truly hungry or if i was just wanting another 'fix'
  • bentwillow
    bentwillow Posts: 12 Member
    If I allow myself to have a treat like potato chips, I have to put the serving size in a dish. Then I seal up the chip bag with my seal a meal (so worth investing in one).
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    The all-or-nothing mindset must be overcome to be successful IMHO. Because what happens if and when you are in a situation where those foods are available and you binge on them? You'll feel like a failure. There is no failure here; only failure to learn from the past and grow.

    First, make sure you're eating enough food. Most people can't sustain a daily caloric deficit of 1000 calories (the "lose 2 lbs/week" option)... so go with a smaller one. Aim for 1 lb/week or even 1/2 lb per week... you'll be able to eat more each day, feel satisfied and not need to overeat. There are always plenty of calories available for you to have something you like every day.

    Second, make sure you eat protein at every opportunity. All meals should have a good supply of protein; even snacks can be made to include protein. Protein helps keep you fuller feeling for longer.

    Third, eat fat. Fat satisfies. Aim for 30% of calories daily coming from fat.

    Fourth, don't eat low-fat/non-fat/sugar-free crap food.

    Fifth, eat as much fiber as you can. If you can combine protein and high fiber, you'll be very full all day, especially if you have a moderate caloric deficit planned.

    Sixth, drink lots of water. Sometimes we can crave sweets or salty foods when our hydration levels are off.

    Seventh, exercise. Do 30 minutes of cardio daily and lift weights 3 times a week. You'll be able to eat more so you can fit in all the stuff you love and still lose weight. Trust me, if you're eating enough you're more likely to be able to stop after a serving instead of a whole package.

    Okay I think I'm all done. Know that you can. Believe you can. There are so many success stories here; if we can, you can.
  • Danni3ll3
    Danni3ll3 Posts: 365 Member
    The all-or-nothing mindset must be overcome to be successful IMHO. Because what happens if and when you are in a situation where those foods are available and you binge on them? You'll feel like a failure. There is no failure here; only failure to learn from the past and grow.

    First, make sure you're eating enough food. Most people can't sustain a daily caloric deficit of 1000 calories (the "lose 2 lbs/week" option)... so go with a smaller one. Aim for 1 lb/week or even 1/2 lb per week... you'll be able to eat more each day, feel satisfied and not need to overeat. There are always plenty of calories available for you to have something you like every day.

    Second, make sure you eat protein at every opportunity. All meals should have a good supply of protein; even snacks can be made to include protein. Protein helps keep you fuller feeling for longer.

    Third, eat fat. Fat satisfies. Aim for 30% of calories daily coming from fat.

    Fourth, don't eat low-fat/non-fat/sugar-free crap food.

    Fifth, eat as much fiber as you can. If you can combine protein and high fiber, you'll be very full all day, especially if you have a moderate caloric deficit planned.

    Sixth, drink lots of water. Sometimes we can crave sweets or salty foods when our hydration levels are off.

    Seventh, exercise. Do 30 minutes of cardio daily and lift weights 3 times a week. You'll be able to eat more so you can fit in all the stuff you love and still lose weight. Trust me, if you're eating enough you're more likely to be able to stop after a serving instead of a whole package.

    Okay I think I'm all done. Know that you can. Believe you can. There are so many success stories here; if we can, you can.

    Awesome advice!!! The only thing to add is don't buy junk food. Keep it out of your house then you won't be tempted in the car or in the house.
  • amgault
    amgault Posts: 16 Member
    I used to have that problem. If there was food in front of me I would eat it until there wasn't anymore there and then I would go find more to stuff my face. For me, my problem stemmed from my environment. I was very stressed and put down a lot. My life recently began to get better and I don't eat that way anymore, but sometimes that NEED to eat will overcome me and anything I can find will be eaten. The only way I've been able to combat this is to chew gum. Every single time I felt the overwhelming need to eat, I would put a piece of gum in my mouth. It sounds silly, but it really works. Chewing gum occupied my mouth and I was able to focus on other things. Another thing that helps is to use minty gum because when you're mouth is fresh and minty, you feel less likely to eat.

    I think it's important for you to try to discover why you have this desire to constantly be eating. If it is emotional eating, you may want to consider some therapy to learn better coping habits. They are called "comfort foods" for a reason! I hope this advice helps you! Add me if you would like.
  • amgault
    amgault Posts: 16 Member
    That is fantastic advice! Thank you!
  • kathyms13
    kathyms13 Posts: 497 Member
    i just dont eat junk foods, i try to stick to veg fruit etc, but dont get me wrong i dont hate food. ive learned to be selective.
  • I was just like you, all or nothing with the sweets, then I turned to Intermittent Fasting, and it has helped me tremendously, control what i eat, including sweets!
  • emilyc85
    emilyc85 Posts: 450 Member
    I have issues with this. Just this morning I had grabbed a whole bunch of hershey's kisses because "there were only a few left" and I was going to just finish them. I stopped before I had any and checked how many calories it would be and then promptly hid them from myself because I wasn't going to waste that many calories on just chocolate. I have found that when I portion myself out the serving suggestion I won't binge on the whole bag/box of whatever I am eating. Also, logging has helped me substantially. Just realizing how many calories I am actually going through has helped remind me what I am doing myself.
    I have also put up pictures on myself on all the cupboards and the fridge to help me remember.
    20121227_124719.jpg
  • OP: I could have written your post. I am exactly the same way you are. I can eat a bag of cookies or chips or chocolate in the car--then I need to hide all the evidence by throwing the trash out in a public waste can so no one knows that I'm out of control.

    I've figured that if I really want to eat something, I'll buy a smaller portion of it and eat that. I'm also trying not to eat in the car anymore.

    The past week has been pretty good. I don't feel the need to stuff myself with a bunch of junk. I think it's a vicious cycle: if I eat some junk, then my body keeps wanting the junk. And my thought at that point is, "F*** it--I already ate the McDonald's--I might as well have some cookies and candy too." Then I'm out of control and no longer conscious of what I'm doing. It's only after I'm faced with the empty wrappers and bags that I realize what I've done.

    I think my overeating is an addiction as well. I tried Overeaters Anonymous several years ago, but it didn't really work for me (but then again, I don't feel like I really gave it a good shot.) You might want to check out some of Laurel Mellin's books on the connection between emotions and overeating. She suggests doing feelings checks and then determining what your true needs are (and usually, it's not food).

    Anyone on this thread with the same issues--please friend me so we can support one another.

    You! Get out of my head!! :)
  • I have issues with this. Just this morning I had grabbed a whole bunch of hershey's kisses because "there were only a few left" and I was going to just finish them. I stopped before I had any and checked how many calories it would be and then promptly hid them from myself because I wasn't going to waste that many calories on just chocolate. I have found that when I portion myself out the serving suggestion I won't binge on the whole bag/box of whatever I am eating. Also, logging has helped me substantially. Just realizing how many calories I am actually going through has helped remind me what I am doing myself.
    I have also put up pictures on myself on all the cupboards and the fridge to help me remember.
    20121227_124719.jpg

    I might just try that. The shame alone would probably keep me out of the kitchen.
  • The all-or-nothing mindset must be overcome to be successful IMHO. Because what happens if and when you are in a situation where those foods are available and you binge on them? You'll feel like a failure. There is no failure here; only failure to learn from the past and grow.

    First, make sure you're eating enough food. Most people can't sustain a daily caloric deficit of 1000 calories (the "lose 2 lbs/week" option)... so go with a smaller one. Aim for 1 lb/week or even 1/2 lb per week... you'll be able to eat more each day, feel satisfied and not need to overeat. There are always plenty of calories available for you to have something you like every day.

    Second, make sure you eat protein at every opportunity. All meals should have a good supply of protein; even snacks can be made to include protein. Protein helps keep you fuller feeling for longer.

    Third, eat fat. Fat satisfies. Aim for 30% of calories daily coming from fat.

    Fourth, don't eat low-fat/non-fat/sugar-free crap food.

    Fifth, eat as much fiber as you can. If you can combine protein and high fiber, you'll be very full all day, especially if you have a moderate caloric deficit planned.

    Sixth, drink lots of water. Sometimes we can crave sweets or salty foods when our hydration levels are off.

    Seventh, exercise. Do 30 minutes of cardio daily and lift weights 3 times a week. You'll be able to eat more so you can fit in all the stuff you love and still lose weight. Trust me, if you're eating enough you're more likely to be able to stop after a serving instead of a whole package.

    Okay I think I'm all done. Know that you can. Believe you can. There are so many success stories here; if we can, you can.

    Awesome advice. You broke it down for me. I'm going to keep re-reading this.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I might just try that. The shame alone would probably keep me out of the kitchen.

    Please don't shame yourself into abstaining.