have a disgusting question

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  • Tri_Dad
    Tri_Dad Posts: 1,465
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    Practice the art of "Ninja" farting.

    Start from a seated position. Look around to see if anyone is watching. Once the coast is clear shift all your weight to one "cheeck". We will refer to this as cheeck #1. Now slowly lean in the direction you shifted your weight. This should create an ample amount of space between cheeck#1 and cheeck#2. At this point a carefully controlled release combine with the aforementioned "ample" space should result in an virtually silent departure of the troublesome gas.

    Hope that helps, best of luck!

    And remember, practice makes perfect.

    P.S. if someone catches you leaning, pretend your trying to look around something that is in front of you and say "That's weird....I thought I saw something."

    :laugh:

    We used to call this the "one-cheek-sneak."

    One cheek sneak....classic. LOL
    Figures- we start discussing the fine art of fart technique and the men come out of the woodwork. lol
  • arfletcher
    arfletcher Posts: 143
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    Lol well the police officers do but not the ladies in dispatch. Also I have tried going to the bathroom but it's in the same room and for some reason everytime I go in there the girls go in the kitchen and they are loud to so I don't know what to do.

    Tough being a woman, sometimes-- no?

    Wouldn't it be nice to just be Shrek-- "Better out than in, I always say."

    Women just let yourselves FART already!! I work in an office with almost all women, we let them rip all day long and blame them on each other :laugh: It is far from anything to be ashamed of - it is the exact oposite. Your body is adjusting to your HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! Are the other women in your office working their butts off (no pun intended :laugh: ) to be healthier? Its a side affect - embrace it!
  • arfletcher
    arfletcher Posts: 143
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    Practice the art of "Ninja" farting.

    Start from a seated position. Look around to see if anyone is watching. Once the coast is clear shift all your weight to one "cheeck". We will refer to this as cheeck #1. Now slowly lean in the direction you shifted your weight. This should create an ample amount of space between cheeck#1 and cheeck#2. At this point a carefully controlled release combine with the aforementioned "ample" space should result in an virtually silent departure of the troublesome gas.

    Hope that helps, best of luck!

    And remember, practice makes perfect.

    P.S. if someone catches you leaning, pretend your trying to look around something that is in front of you and say "That's weird....I thought I saw something."

    :laugh:

    ROFLMAO!!!
  • lethalee
    lethalee Posts: 4
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    Better to fart and stink a little than bust your *kitten* and be a cripple lol
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    You want to have a good laugh.
    Walk by some officers and let one go silently, and keep going.
    You'll have them blaming each other.

    If you feel you can't be quiet, go somewhere else in your workplace, or go outside and let it rip. :laugh:
  • PanicAtTheBuffet
    PanicAtTheBuffet Posts: 374
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    Figures- we start discussing the fine art of fart technique and the men come out of the woodwork. lol

    I know Tri Dad. I was going to suggest the "pull my finger" trick. LOL
  • knightl
    knightl Posts: 14
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    This whole discussion has me laughing so hard. I love it!!

    BTW, I don't fart. I fluffy.
  • Mande_G
    Mande_G Posts: 599 Member
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    This thread is hilarious. :laugh: I have nothing useful to add... I'm shy about public farting as well. :blushing:

    I say blame it on the cat! :wink:
  • ferdinandcc
    ferdinandcc Posts: 13
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    If I couldn't fart at work, I'd quit my job.
  • kellybones
    kellybones Posts: 281 Member
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    I personally practice the art of "crop-dusting"
    I just let little bit "poof" out every now and then while I walk through the laboratory

    Like a tiny toot ever other step or so
    Makes the odor linger less, I think and avoids the blame game
  • jaldrick
    jaldrick Posts: 4
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    Better out than in! But on a more helpful note, I suffer from IBS so get this problem all the time. I prefer to avoid taking anything with chemicals in it being a bit of a health nut. Try taking some Aloe juice twice a day and/or a peppermint oil supplement. Aloe juice tastes rancid by itself so I tend to mix it into orange juice or similar. Good luck :-)
  • futuredispatchhottie911
    futuredispatchhottie911 Posts: 163
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    omg these replies are freakin hilarious I am laughing so hard hope one doesn't escape now j/k Thanks for all of the suggestions I like the one about going by and doing it in front of the officers and watching them blame each other. I have one of the officers that comes in here and farts but he just says he is blowing us kisses lol.
  • andyxbear
    andyxbear Posts: 269 Member
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    Practice the art of "Ninja" farting.

    Start from a seated position. Look around to see if anyone is watching. Once the coast is clear shift all your weight to one "cheeck". We will refer to this as cheeck #1. Now slowly lean in the direction you shifted your weight. This should create an ample amount of space between cheeck#1 and cheeck#2. At this point a carefully controlled release combine with the aforementioned "ample" space should result in an virtually silent departure of the troublesome gas.

    Hope that helps, best of luck!

    And remember, practice makes perfect.

    P.S. if someone catches you leaning, pretend your trying to look around something that is in front of you and say "That's weird....I thought I saw something."

    :laugh:

    LMAO... I so do this... But actually most of mine are silent anyways. It's the smell that's bad which is why I always keep body spray in my desk drawer and every once in a while someone will pass by and say "Mmm, it smells good right here. What is that scent?" HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! People just think I like to spray every now and then. =]
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    When I first increased my fiber, I definitely had some... um... issues. :laugh:

    I just excused myself when I needed to & suffered through it and now I rarely have issues & I generally get 25-30g of fiber each day. Supposedly, if you increase your fiber intake slowly, the gassy effects aren't as bad.

    I've found for some reason fiber-enriched things (like Fiber One bars, for example) make it a lot worse than if I eat more natural fiber in fruits & veggies. I'm not sure why, it's just a thing I've noticed.
  • bethinagain
    bethinagain Posts: 282 Member
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    You started out by saying that you have really bad side pains......are you sure it's gas? A month ago I was feeling bad side pains and I assumed it was gas. They never went away so I told my doctor and he sent me for an ultrasound. We found cyst on my left ovary. I'm schedualed for surgery next week Friday to have it removed. And I thought it was just gas! I feel the pain the most when it's time to go to the bathroom or to pass gas and it's actually my ovary.
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    Lol well the police officers do but not the ladies in dispatch. Also I have tried going to the bathroom but it's in the same room and for some reason everytime I go in there the girls go in the kitchen and they are loud to so I don't know what to do.

    Tough being a woman, sometimes-- no?

    Wouldn't it be nice to just be Shrek-- "Better out than in, I always say."

    Women just let yourselves FART already!! I work in an office with almost all women, we let them rip all day long and blame them on each other :laugh: It is far from anything to be ashamed of - it is the exact oposite. Your body is adjusting to your HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! Are the other women in your office working their butts off (no pun intended :laugh: ) to be healthier? Its a side affect - embrace it!

    While I agree it's nothing to be ashamed of, there *is* such a thing as being CONSIDERATE of others. :noway:

    I really don't care if someone lets one go around me, but I certainly don't want to smell it. So, I personally try to give others the same courtesy (of not smelling my farts) that I'd like for them to give me. :wink: My boyfriend and I intentionally don't fart next to each other and we've lived together for almost 4 years now. It's not because we're embarrassed, it's because farts generally smell gross. I love him & I don't want him to have to smell my farts & he's just as considerate (I guess I have the only man in the world who excuses himself to go to the bathroom to pass gas?). :tongue:

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