Scientific Hotness Factor

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Mac_X
Mac_X Posts: 110 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, let me begin by saying I have a smoking hot, sexy wife. I am one of those guys who absolutely lucked into this. I am fat, out of shape, don't make a ton of money, had a kid before I met her, so on and so forth. The reasons she should have never given me a chance are literally manifold.

I started this little weight-loss/muscle-building trek around 40 days ago. I haven't lost much yet, but I am developing good habits and tracking things and I can tell the weights are having an impact on my strength if not on my looks yet. So last night, my wife says something to me that took me aback. Not in a bad way, just in a "Wow, I've really never thought about that..." way.

She said, and I quote, "My hotness is directly affected by your hotness. As you become hotter (i.e., weigh less and get toned up), I become hotter from being with you."

So, being a nerd and make-believe scientist (just now!), I just have to know. Is there a formula for this? Are there equations I can work out that will predict the hotness of our coupleness when I reach my goal weight? Half my goal weight? Why is her hotness improved by my hotness, but her hotness apparently has not made me hot in the least? I need answers, people! And since most of you on here are so much smarter than me, I thought I'd ask and see what happened! (I'm guessing the first three responses, if I get any, will be making fun of me. Welcome to MFP, right?)

Replies

  • Scandinavia
    Scandinavia Posts: 291 Member
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    Women are naturally jealous of other women. But when they see a hot woman with a hot man...All kinds of envy springs forth.
  • adnil17
    adnil17 Posts: 35 Member
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    I think if you get hotter then people will look at you and your wife and see a very attractive coupl rather than individuals.

    My partner makes me feel sexier just by the way he looks at me. he does not want me to lose weight But I want to get healthier.

    I also think if you get fitter then you feel more confident which then makes your wife more confident.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    My partner makes me feel sexier just by the way he looks at me. he does not want me to lose weight But I want to get healthier.

    Mine too. I've never once felt shy or ashamed by my partner and THAT makes me feel super sexyfied.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    and here I am afraid that if my partner got any "hotter" (which might actually be a logical improbability, because he's already pretty damned fine)

    it would just make me EVEN UGLIER in comparison.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    You could compare golden ratios...
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
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    i dunno i think my man has trumped me on sexyness. so when i look at him it makes me better cause i went and got that. ive got to be pretty good to snag someone so fine. so it make my swag meter go up :)
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
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    My husband is gorgeous (no lie women tell me all the time) and it makes me feel pretty to be with someone who is so damn handsome. I'm also less likely to let myself go given the fact that he hasn't. Another interesting thing is that people like us together. We get told all the time that we are a handsome pair. i think we look like we belong together so in an odd way that helps us career-wise and socially. Im not saying it is right but people make all sorts of assumptions based on looks (like hot girl & shluppy man and people might think she's with him for his money. i think as humans we feel better when things appear to be more equitable). So I'd say yeah there is definitely something to it. I'm interested in your math equation if you figure it out :)
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
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    C'mon dude, it is common sense:

    (GW -BMI) / penis size (cm) * COS(her bra size / # of shoes she owns) *(3.1415/ amount of pie you ate last week)

    Final result will tell you in $ how much it would cost for her defense when she and her younger more endowed partner kill you and stuff your body in wood chipper.

    Math never lies.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    damn i don't have a smoking hot wife...or even an average gf...where did i go wrooong...
  • hellraisedfire
    hellraisedfire Posts: 403 Member
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    zeroth law of thermodynamics right there.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    C'mon dude, it is common sense:

    (GW -BMI) / penis size (cm) * COS(her bra size / # of shoes she owns) *(3.1415/ amount of pie you ate last week)

    Final result will tell you in $ how much it would cost for her defense when she and her younger more endowed partner kill you and stuff your body in wood chipper.

    Math never lies.

    L. O. L.
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
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    C'mon dude, it is common sense:

    (GW -BMI) / penis size (cm) * COS(her bra size / # of shoes she owns) *(3.1415/ amount of pie you ate last week)

    Final result will tell you in $ how much it would cost for her defense when she and her younger more endowed partner kill you and stuff your body in wood chipper.

    Math never lies.

    1ex3ls.jpg
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    I say this to my BF all the time. If he wont go into the grocery store with me because he is dirty from work or something I tell him it's okay because I look hot. As long as one of us is hot, we're both hot. The hotter he looks the hotter I look.
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
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    C'mon dude, it is common sense:

    (GW -BMI) / penis size (cm) * COS(her bra size / # of shoes she owns) *(3.1415/ amount of pie you ate last week)

    Final result will tell you in $ how much it would cost for her defense when she and her younger more endowed partner kill you and stuff your body in wood chipper.

    Math never lies.
    Ha! I wish I had a pithy math retort!!
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
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    The hotter the wife...the hotter you are...by default.
    I could come up with an equation but ...oh who am I kidding...no I can't.
  • Mac_X
    Mac_X Posts: 110 Member
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    See? I knew you guys were smarter than I am. Indeed, the math doesn't lie!
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
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    C'mon dude, it is common sense:

    (GW -BMI) / penis size (cm) * COS(her bra size / # of shoes she owns) *(3.1415/ amount of pie you ate last week)

    Final result will tell you in $ how much it would cost for her defense when she and her younger more endowed partner kill you and stuff your body in wood chipper.

    Math never lies.

    Best. Response. Ever.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    FYI: Between Homer's equation and the mention of golden ratios, I was instantly turned on.

    Intelligence = Supersexy.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    I'm curious as to where "they look good together" becomes "how did that couple happen?" At what point does making each other hotter turn into curious stares.

    I'm sure my unhottness to my partners hotness = wtf?
  • MattTheWaterRat
    MattTheWaterRat Posts: 167 Member
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    Ok, f(h) = h(m+f) + c, where h is hotness, m is male, f is female, and c is cash.

    notice the limit as h approaches 0 of f(h) = c

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