Do people ask when you're due, but you're not pregnant?

Meggiomum
Meggiomum Posts: 3
in Introduce Yourself
Aaaagh! I'm tired of it! I have four kids, the youngest of which is 5 months old. My belly has definitely taken a toll. Strangers at the store ask me when I'm due, kids piont and ask their moms if I have a baby in there, and even my own children tell me my tummy looks like Santa's. I'm not interested in becoming one of the bony waifs that pop media tries to tell us is ideal, nor do I want my daughters growing up thinking skinny = beautiful. BUT I would like to wear a fitted T-shirt once in a while without feeling embarassed. Anyone else feel this way?

Replies

  • Earguy
    Earguy Posts: 35
    Yeah, it's happened...and I'm a guy. :grumble:

    Don't worry so much about teaching your kids that skinny = beautiful. Think more that you're teaching that overweight = unhealthy.

    On TV, the camera really does add ten pounds. Look at some of the actresses, and realize how bony their arms are, how skeletal they look sometimes. That's not beautiful either.
  • NuclearMosquito
    NuclearMosquito Posts: 39 Member
    I have had people ask before. At one point when I was at my old job there was a rumor going around that I was pregnant (I was ill at the time). I'm 27 and have no children, but I carry most of my weight in my chest and belly. I am so self conscious about it that I am super picky about what I wear when I leave the house. No boxy t-shirts or sweatshirts, something fitted under the bust, and I wear a waist cincher and sometimes control top panties to smooth everything out. I'm sure I take it to the extreme, but my point is I can relate to your post so much! How well I know the feeling of embarrassment.
  • LaColombicana
    LaColombicana Posts: 63 Member
    I try not to ask people personal questions because I want to avoid awkward situations like this. However, when I was pregnant, a woman asked me when I was due and I answered her. I then proceeded to ask her when she was due....she was NOT pregnant and her baby was 14 months old. I was mortified, shocked and in disbelief that she was not pregnant. I apologized about 3 times because I honestly thought she was. My point is most people mean no harm and you are taking steps to improve your health and physical fitness. Just keep it up and you will be rewarded by the physical changes your body will go through.

    YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY!
  • kendalls63
    kendalls63 Posts: 6 Member
    yes, and I'm not even a female. LOL!
  • DefinatelyDead
    DefinatelyDead Posts: 13
    Im the exact same. Before I was pregnant everyone kept asking if I was. Me and the partner were trying at the time and it wasnt happening so got quite upsetting. When I was pregnant people would ask if I was having twins and commenting about how big I was. I stopped going to toddler groups as they started looking at me and another pregnant mum (who was a few weeks behind me) and saying how thin she was blah blah blah. No-one seemed to care about my feelings or the fact she was still dieting! people really dont think.
  • saddorie
    saddorie Posts: 3
    I have two children myself and my youngest is 15. I know what you are going through and now i am taking my life back by starting here. I am struggling most with exercise due to other health issues but i know to go slowly, i think i will try the 10k steps and see how well that does for me.
  • strawmama
    strawmama Posts: 623 Member
    This happened to me about a year ago, and the worst part was the woman asking me, "are you sure you're not pregnant?"
    Um, yeah, I've had my tubes tied for 8 years--I'm pretty sure. It's embarrassing and it can do some serious damage to your self-esteem. The only bright side to my being asked this was that the woman had one heck of a beer gut--that made it not sting so bad :)
  • hopestobelost
    hopestobelost Posts: 11
    When I think about it, why is that such a terrible thing to ask? I would just say, "No, I'm not pregnant. I just have a big stomach." Its not a crime or anything. There might be some people in this world that find a big stomach attractive even. I agree with you about not teaching your kids to equate their appearance with their self worth. Obviously, you are interested in achieving a healthy lifestyle since you are on this site.
  • TheDarlingOne
    TheDarlingOne Posts: 255 Member
    Once, when I was a smoker - I was standing outside of a Chucky Cheese smoking while my sister and her kids had a birthday inside. I carry my weight in the stomach and breast area and was probably about 100lbs overweight at the time...
    This lady comes by to go back into the building and says, "You know, um, well you really shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant..." and smiled and kept walking towards the door.
    I smiled back, and rubbed my stomach and just said, "...thanks. I know, trying to quit, but it's so hard."
    I have never been pregnant in my life.
    Sometimes, they think they're being helpful....but it sure is annoying. lol.
  • jessadany
    jessadany Posts: 13
    I had one lady throw a fit because I sat with my husband at the races and enjoyed a beer! Shestarted yelling obscenities at me telling me my child would be born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I had to explain that the very last time I would give birth in mu life was 10 years ago
  • janeoconnell71
    janeoconnell71 Posts: 13 Member
    yes this happens to me all the time, once i was asked by a checkout girl at the supermarket when i was due, i was so ebarrassed i told her november lol then spent the next few months avoiding her till!!! i have lost over a stone but still more to go, and the christmas weight i have put on has gone straight to my belly, i am a mum to 4 as well!!
  • grnqueen
    grnqueen Posts: 35 Member
    Yes, all the time. My youngest is 13 and I get asked all the time. My husband, however, looks far more pregnant than I and tells everyone he's having a dinosaur.

    I did tell a friend congrats only to find that she had a huge 12 lbs tumor, THAT was embarrassing and I will never do it again!

Categories