my body/mental transformation starting today

Hello. My name is Kat and I have had a major battle with food and weight since I was a child. My parents did not teach me good eating habits, we were encourage to eat multiple servings and eat as much as possible at buffets to ''get our money's worth''. When I graduated high school, I weighed in at around 265lbs. I'm 5'11" tall and do have a larger frame (size 11 - 12 woman's shoe).

When I went to college in 2002, I decided I would lose the weight, but was afraid of food and the more weight I lost, the less I ate so I would lose it faster. In about a year, I had manage to lose 120lbs, but unfortunately became anorexic to do it.

I met my husband in college in 2003 and because I could no longer avoid food since he ate regularly, I quickly fell back into my childhood eating habits, which shot me up to around 200lbs in only a few months.

My husband doesn't have the portion issues I have, but he does like to go out to eat, which is even worse when combined with my binge eating.

When he is onboard to lose weight, I lose weight, but unfortunately for me, his motivation doesn't last long.

In 2006, my husband and I joined a local gym biggest loser competition and in 3 months we had lost a combined 55lbs(I lost 35lbs) but as soon as that was over, he fell into old habits and I quickly lost my motivation as well.

In 2010, my husband and I finally got married, and after about 6 month's of dieting and exercise, I got down to 190lbs, but when we came back from our honeymoon, he didn't want to diet and neither did I!

So here we are in 2013, another year older and still, in a body I'm not happy with. I've been going back and forth this past year, trying to get my husband motivated, because when he does well, so do I. But I've decided I can't wait around anymore, and maybe if I can find motivation outside of my husband, I might have a chance of making a permanent change for the rest of my life.

I don't have many friends here and whenever I talk to them about losing weight together, I can tell they aren't mentally willing to change and I need something or someone that is willing to stick it out.

I have learned a lot about myself and why I keep failing at my attempts to lose weight, and this is the first time I believe myself when I say ''I'm going to do it''.

I'm enrolled in PE this quarter at college and have a minimum requirement of 3 hours a week to make a 4.0

If none of my friends or husband are going to keep me in check or motivated, I'm leaving it up to you.

Post if you want, or just read along, I am going to try to post updates at least 3 times a week and my food/exercise log should be viewable to everyone, so feel free to leave comments on something I do right or wrong.

My overall goal is 170lbs
Today I weighed in at 247.9lbs.

I'll have my first update no later than Monday afternoon.