I have never been this disgusted with myself

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MrsAnderson_GettingHealthy
MrsAnderson_GettingHealthy Posts: 122 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today, I sucked it up and I took my dreaded "before" pictures. I should have done this 6 pounds ago but, I couldn't ever push myself to do it until tonight. I put a sports bra, a tanktop and some skin tight black pants on and I set a self timer on my phone's camera... I stood in my living room and what I saw on the screen really shocked me. I had NO idea that I was that big. I feel like breaking down and sobbing. I had to push through tears to upload the pictures (2) on to the computer and than on to my fitness pal (my profile).

I am just so disgusted with myself and I am still in the same clothes because, now I just feel like I have been punched in my stomach (which is huge by the way). I can't even walk around the bedroom comfortably anymore. I feel like my fiance is looking at me the same way that I see myself and I don't ever want him to be that disgusted with me... but, how can he not be? Ugh. I just feel like sobbing. I know that I had a baby 2 weeks ago but, I have always been overweight and apparantly, it has to be horrible before it can get better.

I am trying to think positively and looking at those pictures as one of my biggest motivators to follow through with my weight loss goals but, it's hard when I don't know if I can even do it with how big I am. Can I ever get down to my wanted size? It looks nearly impossible at this point! I guess I just need support.
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Replies

  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
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    Of course you can!!!
    The beginning is the hardest. But if you hang in there, you'll start to see some amazing results within weeks!!

    This old you that is making you miserable will be a thing of the past. You can be anything you wanna be. The only person standing in your way of achieving it is you!!
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    Don't be upset with the girl in the before pictures. She is the genius that decided you needed to change. You will thank her for motivating you every day. Please don't hate her, she's your number one fan. When you inevitably reach your goal weight, you will show your new picture to your old picture and your new picture won't be upset, she'll be proud, and so will your before picture.

    And that's ignoring the whole 'just had a baby' thing. You just created life, for christ's sake.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    First off, you need to hear this, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.

    Momma, you gave birth two weeks ago? You're going to need a couple more weeks for those hormones to regulate. You need a couple more weeks to snuggle that little one. A couple more weeks to breathe and access your goals.

    Yes, it's totally possible. And yes, if you stick at it and work hard for it, you CAN and WILL get down to your wanted size. But step away from the mirror, step away from the scale and give yourself a pat on the back for what you have already achieved with your life.
  • etface
    etface Posts: 9
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    Please don't feel that way. We are all here because we aren't satisfied with some piece of us. It's ok. We are not perfect but we can work on being better. About 8 years ago the doctore named a list of things wrong with me starting with the extra pounds. I lost them, just over 50, but about 16 have creeped back on. I will tell you that you must decide to do it for yourself, once done, the rest is easy. Come on, you can do it.
  • LeslieN65
    LeslieN65 Posts: 127 Member
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    Congrats on your new baby!! And yes!! you most def can get to your wanted size!! So many, many success stories on this website and YOU! will be one too.....heck you are already a success....all you are doing now is enhancing :):smile:
  • Calm_Lotus_06
    Calm_Lotus_06 Posts: 104 Member
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    I had the same problem. But we are all here to support you and encourage you. Things may be hard now, but you are stronger than you think. You may think that is a load of bull, as did I, but through my journey so far I have realized how true it really is and you will too. Just keep plugging along!

    If you want any more friends on here feel free to add me I will be whatever help I can be, even if its just someone to complain to about life. Keep your chin up! <3
  • futureflaka
    futureflaka Posts: 72 Member
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    Don't be upset with the girl in the before pictures. She is the genius that decided you needed to change. You will thank her for motivating you every day. Please don't hate her, she's your number one fan. When you inevitably reach your goal weight, you will show your new picture to your old picture and your new picture won't be upset, she'll be proud, and so will your before picture.

    And that's ignoring the whole 'just had a baby' thing. You just created life, for christ's sake.

    What he said!!!!^^^:happy:
  • HowieTwoPointZero
    HowieTwoPointZero Posts: 494 Member
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    I'm really upset I didn't have the stones to take before pictures. I'd like to have a better grasp of where I was and how far I came. You're a hell of a lot braver then me.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    You can do it. I gave birth to 6 kids, and I am still a getting better days after day. You just gave birth........in fact you are still preggo but in your 4 th trimester lol. Be kind to yourself, you just made a human being from scratch!

    Posting my pic won't to have kudos but just to prove it can be done

    Hugs

    8040150711_a85839e461.jpg
    IMG_20120929_095330 by yanicka.hachez, on Flickr
  • fwilson1031
    fwilson1031 Posts: 88
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    First of all, YOU HAD A BABY TWO WEEKS AGO! Give yourself a break. Your body has gone through a huge change over the past 9+ months.
    Secondly, I highly doubt your fiance sees you the way you see yourself. You obviously are not happy with the way you look, but this is why you are here! Sometimes I wonder how my fiance can look at me too, but he does and he supports me and he loves me just like I'm sure your fiance loves you! :heart:
    You are on the right track. Stop beating yourself up and over analyzing things. You're here and ready to lose the weight, so do it! If you need some extra support of motivation feel free to add me. I will do my best to help you.

    OH and CONGRATS on the baby and the engagement!!!:smile:

    32297890.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
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    Don't be upset with the girl in the before pictures. She is the genius that decided you needed to change. You will thank her for motivating you every day. Please don't hate her, she's your number one fan. When you inevitably reach your goal weight, you will show your new picture to your old picture and your new picture won't be upset, she'll be proud, and so will your before picture.

    And that's ignoring the whole 'just had a baby' thing. You just created life, for christ's sake.

    All of this! Be proud of yourself for having the stones to take before pics. I didn't and boy do I wish now that I had. You can absolutely get where you want to be, and when you do, you'll be thrilled that you have the pics to prove to yourself how far you've come! Stand proud-you're a brave woman.
  • Songbird1104
    Songbird1104 Posts: 210 Member
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    Don't be so hard on yourself! You are beautiful and amazing, and you can do whatever you put your mind to! "emanyalpsid" and "EndlessMuse" are totally right: you just created life (congratulations, by the way!), and you need to give your body time to heal and get back to normal. I had a baby last year and it took months for my hormones to regulate! That's a big thing for your body to go through! Give yourself some time, make attainable goals, and you'll get there. :flowerforyou:

    ETA: And emphasis on snuggles and cuddles and spending hours just holding your new blessing! Believe me, the time goes by WAAAAAAAY too fast. :cry:
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    Kudos to you, you have no idea how many people have regretted not taking 'before' photos. I'm one of them because I was afraid of feeling like crap...I regret it now. It'll help motivate you when you see how far you can take yourself.

    Just remember, given some time, you will not be looking at yourself in the same light, and all of this well be behind you.

    And you're being far to hard on yourself. You deserve better then that.
  • suritanel
    suritanel Posts: 5
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    Chin up!!! 2 Weeks after having bubba...I think you're too hard on yourself. Just keep in mind where you're going, it's the on;y way to move forward.

    Good luck! you'll do great
  • wubbie3me
    wubbie3me Posts: 11
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    I completely understand how you felt when you saw your pictures. I decided to audition for The Biggest Loser, and I sent in a tape. I asked a good friend of mine to do the taping, and while I knew I was a little overweight and all, I NEVER expected to see what I saw. I was in a sports bra and shorts, and I just never realized that I was fat. I knew had the extra padding, but my reaction to the video was "What is Jabba the Hut doing in my bedroom and why is he wearing my clothes??!!!".
    I am down some weight now and it is alot easier to look in a mirror. Thanks to my realization, I can still see that I am overweight, but I no longer see "oh, I'm just padded", and I can see what I really look like. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I have a waist again, and I can see the curves God gave me instead of the curves I gave myself.

    You will do awesome! Cuddle with your new little one, and remember that taking care of your new baby also means taking care of yourself.
  • sterober
    sterober Posts: 22
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    Hey there chica. I'm sorry you're so upset. You are not alone in your struggle. You're goals are not impossible to reach. You are worth the fight. I'm on here quite a bit and would be happy to have you as a friend. Add me if you'd like.

    I wish you all the best!!
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
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    everyone was at that point once. wait until you reach your goal weight, you are going to be so proud of yourself for being so brave <3 i deleted all my before pics but now i wish i had some.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    SURE you can! You can look at my pics. I look at the before ones (you can EASILY figure out which ones they are) and STILL cant believe I was SO in denial. We all travel the same road. :)
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Hell yes you can and you just took a huge step in the right direction! Not just taking the picture but being honest with yourself about where you are. Now, cut those calories and get moving. The process is slow and it takes work. The only trick is that you keep doing it.
  • Janelle173
    Janelle173 Posts: 396 Member
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    Don't be upset with the girl in the before pictures. She is the genius that decided you needed to change. You will thank her for motivating you every day. Please don't hate her, she's your number one fan. When you inevitably reach your goal weight, you will show your new picture to your old picture and your new picture won't be upset, she'll be proud, and so will your before picture.

    And that's ignoring the whole 'just had a baby' thing. You just created life, for christ's sake.

    I like your mentality, i like your positivity, thank you for your response to OP. I think I needed to read this as well, as my mentality is very much of the OP's.

    OP-Ifeel for you, as I feel like you do (except I had my baby 10 months ago!) and I hope you take his words to heart.

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