Oh no, -I'm- that ditzy girl...

Aviflora
Aviflora Posts: 85 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hey everyone.

Sooo.... I have a problem. I've been kinda seeing this guy for the past week or so, and today he met my sister and a few cousins while we all went rock climbing.

I felt like I was acting silly and cute, but according to my sister, I was acting ditzy. When I get anxious, -especially- around guys I like, I tend to act this way as well... Now, my sisters always been a touch harsh, but she told me after our climb that she was embarrassed FOR me. She told me to act my age, or else no one will take me seriously.

Of course, I'm hurt by this, but I understand that being a ditz won't get me anything I want in life. I'm a very intelligent person, but the way I come off apparently just appears dumb. I'm very bubbly and nice, and I feel like I'm just trying to be true to myself.... I'm just a touch confused.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm feeling lost. :(

Replies

  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I tend to find it endearing as long as it isn't too much.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,308 Member
    I don't suppose replacing the sister would be helpful advice.....:ohwell:


    If the guy likes you, he will get to know you. I think we all get silly and nervous around someone new if we like them. Don't worry about it, I bet your sister gets the same way.
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it...if he likes you...he likes you. You should have seen some of the girls I dated... :D
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
    Usually isn't an issue and you'll stop acting like that in a little bit just ride it out
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    This seems like a nervous reaction, it isn't unusual, most people see through it and you will be more relaxed next time. Just breathe deep, relax and you will feel and sound more like yourself next time. No worries, we all have our moments.
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    i'm bubbly.
    i'm silly.
    i'm smart.
    i speak before i think.. which people tend to get a good laugh over.
    and i kinda know where your coming from, a little bit.

    Be yourself, if he doesnt like you for you. then he isn't worth it anyway!
  • Lmezz11
    Lmezz11 Posts: 619 Member
    Being a little cute and ditzy is fine IMO. It took me a long time to be comfortable being around new guys that I like. I have personally found that being yourself is the best way to go. I had to be comfortable with myself before that happened but I also found that if I am with the right guy, its just easy.
  • lindsay2x
    lindsay2x Posts: 8
    Family is always too harsh. Just ignore it and be yourself :) He should be flattered that he made you that ditzy girl.
  • marissad415
    marissad415 Posts: 7
    I noticed that I used to get that way, too (maybe 4-5 years ago). But, eventually I realized that I was living in some sort of mental fantasy land where I thought that I had to act like girls I saw in movies and TV shows in order for boys to like me. But once I felt more comfortable with my personality, sense of humor, and just general "self", I noticed that I actually got more attention since I wasn't being fake, and people recognized that. So just be you! If they don't seem to like your true personality, then that's their loss, not your shortcoming.
  • Reeny1_8
    Reeny1_8 Posts: 277
    Be yourself :) like the others said if he is worth it he will want to get to know you. Good luck :)
  • jeremyw1977
    jeremyw1977 Posts: 505 Member
    Maybe your sister wasn't really embarrassed for you, but was more jealous that he was clamoring over you (I say this even if she's presently in a relationship).
    Perhaps in the past, she has put on the bubbly and ditzy and it didn't work on guys, and she was more upset that your bubbly nature actually worked on the guy.

    I think the young kids call it "haterism".
  • treagal
    treagal Posts: 264 Member
    Be yourself and don't ask your sister for advice. Take what she said into consideration and be honest with yourself, you know the truth. But like you said, you are smart, bubbly, fun, etc. Who doesn't want to be around a positive person like that. (maybe she is jealous?)
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    I keep the bubbly charm, but I'm also sassy and sarcastic as fck.
    Dudes dig it (;
  • maqsmj
    maqsmj Posts: 697
    you are over thinking it, you are 22 and you are able to do whatever u want, i always like a nice DITZY girl :)
  • ngory07
    ngory07 Posts: 194 Member
    I am the same exact way! Plus I have the girly voice too and it comes off as dumb blonde. Just be who you are. After trying to change myself I realized that's just who I am. I'm smart, goofy, ditzy at times, and very outgoing. Everyone has different sides to them. If a guy or someone else doesn't like that its their problem :) Be strong. Our 20s are a time to figure out who we are. So have fun and don't let what others hurt too much!
  • Aviflora
    Aviflora Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you everyone for your kind words, they've really made me feel much better about this whole situation. :)

    However, just because I like this boy doesn't mean I want to be less ditzy just for him. I get anxious around -everyone- I meet, whether they are potential boyfriends or employers. But I appreciate everyone's dating advice as well, I know it all comes from the heart. And for that, I am truly appreciative. :)

    My sister is very critical indeed. I know she means well, and sometimes she goes just a -touch- too far with her choice of words. But, at the same time, she lets me know precisely how she feels, which also means a lot to me. She can often be the voice of reason, especially in my world of optimism.

    But truly, thank you everyone for your support. <3
  • ngory07
    ngory07 Posts: 194 Member
    Thank you everyone for your kind words, they've really made me feel much better about this whole situation. :)

    However, just because I like this boy doesn't mean I want to be less ditzy just for him. I get anxious around -everyone- I meet, whether they are potential boyfriends or employers. But I appreciate everyone's dating advice as well, I know it all comes from the heart. And for that, I am truly appreciative. :)

    My sister is very critical indeed. I know she means well, and sometimes she goes just a -touch- too far with her choice of words. But, at the same time, she lets me know precisely how she feels, which also means a lot to me. She can often be the voice of reason, especially in my world of optimism.

    But truly, thank you everyone for your support. <3

    Very glad to hear some of the replies helped! I completely understand the situation with your sister. Mine once told me "you're bool smart but have no common sense". Lol. At the time it hurt but then I realized I'm the dreamer. She the practical one. We balance each other out. Good luck with the guy hun :)
  • ngory07
    ngory07 Posts: 194 Member
    *book smart*

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