Female, 55 and 80 pounds over weight, confused and depressed

rowdygirl003
rowdygirl003 Posts: 7 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
ugh...that's me....I'm so upset I don't even know where to start...I log my food, stay within or below my calorie range and still no weight loss. I was walking up to 5 miles a day and someone told me I was walking too much that I needed to stop until I started losing weight. Another "friend" says....don't eat carbs, another don't eat meat, another says drink this, Dr. says "Do medifast, it's the only way to lose weight".

I hate the way I look, and my husband knows it.....because I have not undressed in front of him for 2 years. We've been married a very long time and he's seen me gain and lose for the last 20 years, but now it's all gaining and no losing.

Last night I cried! If I had the $$ to have surgery to lose weight....I think I would!

I need help and answers from people who are actually losing weight....and doing it without just drinking meals.... ;((

I'm overwhelmed!

Replies

  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    Welcome aboard the crazy train, rowdygirl! First, let me say, take a deep breath.

    this process can be incredibly frustrating - especially when you are just beginning. YOU CAN DO THIS (repeat in your head over and over again). :happy:

    I suggest you begin with small steps - first, and most importantly, go to www.fat2fitradio.com and use the All Calculators link to figure your Military body fat percentage. Then use the BMR calculator to establish your caloric range. I cannot see your diary, but it is common for people to eat too little, resulting in no, or stalled, weight loss.

    Do not eat back your exercise calories if you calculate this way because hte activity modifier already calculates it in. here is mine:

    Entered information: 42 year old female, 62 inches tall, weighing 125 pounds.

    From the information that you entered, you'd like to weigh 120 lbs.


    Harris-Benedict Formula


    There are a few different methods to calculating yourbasal metabolic rate (BMR). One of the most popular, developed in the early 1900's is called the Harris-Benedict formula. Based on this formula, your current BMR is 1293 calories.


    Katch-McArdle Forumla


    The numbers above are fairly accurate, however they don't take into account your lean body mass. A more accurate formula that does take your lean body mass into account is the Katch-McArdle formula. Since many of us have scales that will tell us our current body fat, this formula may yield more accurate results. Based on the information you provided, body fat percentage of 24%, you have a lean body mass of 95 lbs., and your BMR is 1303 calories.


    How Many Calories Should I Eat?


    Based on your goal weight, the following chart was generated. The chart shows the number of calories that you should eat on a daily basis to reach your goal weight. At Fat 2 Fit Radio we advocate eating like the thin, healthy person that you want to become. The calorie levels you see in the chart are not extreme, but they do create that all important caloric deficit that is required to get you to your goal weight in a safe manner. Once you reach your goal weight, you will continue eating the same number of calories for the rest of your life to maintain that weight. You'll never be on a diet again.

    Based on how much activity you do on an average day, the calories in the right column will be the number of calories that you will be able to eat at your goal weight. If you start eating those calories right now (eating like the thinner you), you will eventually become that thinner person. As you get closer to your goal weight, your weight loss will start to slow down. It is OK to eat a few hundred calories less per day (200-300) to speed up your weight loss at this point.



    Activity Level

    Daily Calories



    Sedentary (little or no exercise, desk job)

    1525



    Lightly Active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/wk)

    1748



    Moderately Active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/wk)

    1970



    Very Active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days/wk)

    2192



    Extremely Active (hard daily exercise/sports & physical job or 2X day training, i.e marathon, contest etc.)

    2415

    I eat between 1750 and 1900 each day for steady weight loss. I am close to my goal so the loss is slow. But at the beginning with over 70 pounds to lose it came off faster. When I began, my body fat % was 49!! Now it is 24

    Remember: YOU CAN DO THIS!! Best of luck to you!
  • mya2012
    mya2012 Posts: 18
    Have you had your thyroid check, that can play a big role in it
  • ravenchick
    ravenchick Posts: 345 Member
    It's all about trial and error. You have to figure out what works for you. You could be eating too less calories, working out too much. Try eating a little more for 2 weeks and see what happens. You also might want to check with your doctor and have blood tests taken to make sure you don't have an underlying condition that would prevent you from losing weight like a thyroid problem.

    Good luck to you!
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
    if you're walking 5 mi a day you definitely need to eat!!! Don't do the 1200 calorie thing. for someone with 80 lbs to lose and walking that much you can't survive too well on 1200 calories. follow what the person above posted.
  • ericachristie85
    ericachristie85 Posts: 69 Member
    Life weights, muscle is the fountain of youth and will make you a calorie burning machine! Best of luck, I am sure you will get through this. Its a new year.
  • sing4me4you
    sing4me4you Posts: 88 Member
    Yes to all the above but you also need to give yourself TIME to lose. It won't be as easy as when you were younger but it does happen. I've been on MFP for over a year and am still working on it. On the plus side, what is your alternative? To give up and stay miserable? Don't give up on yourself!
  • knwitall
    knwitall Posts: 420 Member
    It's all about what works for you. There is no set way to do this. Keep trying and don't give up!
  • go2grrl
    go2grrl Posts: 190 Member
    I'm 51 and have just barely entered menopause (while also losing my thyroid gland) and things are not nearly as easy as they used to be! I would also suggest adding strength training to your exercise. As we age, we lose muscle/lean body mass and our metabolism suffers as a result. I have to test and retest and stay on top of my numbers if I want to lose. But you will do this! It just requires patience and staying one step ahead of the game!

    -Cynthia
  • reree6898
    reree6898 Posts: 42 Member
    Weight loss can be very confusing when so many people are telling you different things but in reality weight loss just boils down to the math. Make sure that the numbers you have plugged into Fitness Pal are right and have it adjust your calories to a 2 lb. weight loss per week. This will give you the maximum that you should eat per day. Then keep your calories between 1200 and the max that Fitness Pal calculates for you. Also, make sure that you are getting in enough water, dont waste calories on soda's etc. Also you should always try to get in exercise. Don't only do cardio, do light strength training as well - it will accelerate your weight loss. Do cardio at least 30 minutes 3 times a week and do strength 3 times a week as well. Everyone loses at different rates but by following the above I have lost over 72lbs since May 16th. Good luck!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Who ever advised you to stop walking is a moron. Open up your diary and you'll get better feedback.
  • melmonroe
    melmonroe Posts: 111
    Two things I think we could all agree are good for you

    1) greens
    2) exercise

    Reduce other things that you eat and do and do and eat more of these things.

    Depression symptoms are KNOWN to be reduced by increasing these 2 things. Clarity will follow.

    Take Care.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    You can totally do this. I was exactly you (except for the husband thing) in 2007, and I lost the weight in about eight months.

    I agree with jazzametti (sp?) - you have to start with a good understanding of how to lose weight, and for that you need to know how much you need to eat per day. Go to her link and do the math - it's the most important part of this whole thing.

    Then - don't listen to your friends who have their "ideas" of what you need to do. It's not that difficult. Eat less than you eat now, less than your TDEE, but more than your BMR (that website figures this for you) - get some moderate exercise 3-4 times a week (walking is fine) and sleep and drink water. No special diet - just eat less than you burn and move a little.
  • caitlyn30
    caitlyn30 Posts: 207 Member
    make sure you have sodium added to watch- and try to stick with 1500. sodium can make me not lose weight- and actually gain
  • sugboog29
    sugboog29 Posts: 630 Member
    Have you had your thyroid check, that can play a big role in it

    And your hormone level! Trust me both are important.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    Have your tread weighing your food? It's very very easy to underestimate calories by eyeballing food portions.
  • CrystalFlury
    CrystalFlury Posts: 400 Member
    If we could see your diary then maybe it'd give some of us an idea of how few/many calories you're consuming and what kinds of calories. Consider eating MORE if you're at the low end (1,200 calories a day). I know, it's scary, but I'm too still learning about where I should be in eating calories (and I've already lost the weight, just in maintenance mode now). I can tell you, if I eat too much bad stuff (out to eat, processed foods, sweets) my weight just goes up.

    Look at your diary, are you eating mostly easy, boxed meals, cereals, casseroles? Try making it more natural. Eat nuts and fruits for snacks. Make your meals as natural as possible e.g. have a main simple protein (chicken breast, steak, fish), have some veggie sides (greens, colorful veggies, you can still have potatoes just consider eating smaller portions of them), fill up on those as much as you can. Limit, don't eliminate bread. Limit your dairy (cheese, yogurt, milk). Just all around start reading your labels and try to buy the foods that are most whole (meaning look for things with the least amount of scientific ingredients).

    For now, try and cut back on diet drinks, artificially sweetened drinks and just drink WATER.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you want someone's diary to look at. I do my best to eat well, especially recently.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I am 53 and have lost 35 pounds since July. The very first thing I did was research about fitness and exercise. I wanted a rest of my life diet. And I wanted enough education about nutrition and fitness to be able to make healthy decisions spontaneously. I am still learning. IMHO, stop listening to "friends" about your diet, most people have no clue. I have "friend" that is more than happy to give weight loss advice, which is funny because she is over 300 lbs. There is great info available on the internet, though avoid anything gimmicky. Livestrong.com is one that I trust for a good, balanced starting point. You CAN do this, don't use your age as an excuse. Take it slow and steady, you will get there. Celebrate every 10 lbs., and don't beat yourself up over the 80 that you want to lose. Those are some of the things I did and I hope they help. Friend me if you want someone close to your age for support. :flowerforyou:
  • rowdygirl003
    rowdygirl003 Posts: 7 Member
    I've been to the dr. and he checked thyroid and blood sugars...I'm fine in both areas ...cholesterol is high but no high blood pressure. Went through surgical menopause when I was 33 yrs.
  • rowdygirl003
    rowdygirl003 Posts: 7 Member
    I have had my thyroid check but not hormone. I had a complete hysterectomy when I was 33. I was thinking of going to BodyLodgics for HRT. But more research was needed and my Dr. said at my age I didn't need them...but he could be wrong!
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    It's enough to make your head explode, but relax & remember to breath ......... think of it as an adventure .......

    Four years ago I started with baby steps ........ experimented with veggies, gradually ate more veggies than pasta or meat ....... I drank a lot of water each day ...... gave up sugary drinks ....... mostly gave up fastfood, baked goods & junkfood ...... I honestly make the healthiest choices at each meal & snack, especially when eating out.

    Other than a walk around the block, I didn't exercise much back then ....... gradually I walked more & more ...... then bought a treadmill ...... now I've joined a gym for cardio, weights, yoga and Zumba ...... I still use the TM on bad-weather days ...... my goal is to do some sort of exercise EVERY day !

    Went from 195# to 155# :happy:

    Now I'm working on the next 10-15# ....... I exercise each day, but I think the key for me is drinking lots of water & eating lots of veggies :drinker:

    Enjoy the adventure !
  • cnelson1974
    cnelson1974 Posts: 235 Member
    Two things I think we could all agree are good for you

    1) greens
    2) exercise

    Reduce other things that you eat and do and do and eat more of these things.

    Depression symptoms are KNOWN to be reduced by increasing these 2 things. Clarity will follow.

    Take Care.


    Thank you! I love this post! Rowdy, I am in a similar boat as you. Before you go and save money up for surgery, check with a nutritonist. Some of your moods could be because of a vitamin deficiancy. Changing what I eat (I accually eat more now then ever before) and taking a few suppliments has made me feel a lot better. My weight has come off slowly, but as long as it comes off I have hope. I'd love to be your friend on MFP! Keep it up girl, we believe in you!
  • terri1020
    terri1020 Posts: 38
    I didn't read all of your replies. I am 57 and have lost 40 of my 60 pound goal. MY saving grace was a great nutritionist. She made me understand that I shouldn't only count calories, but carbs as well. Once I started staying within my carb allowance, I began losing faster. I always eat my protein first. It really does make a huge difference. As far as walking goes, if I walk, I lose. You can do this!
  • ericachristie85
    ericachristie85 Posts: 69 Member
    Watch "Hungry for change," it really illustrates what is wrong with most peoples weight loss efforts.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    Watch "Hungry For Change," it really illustrates what is wrong with most peoples weight loss efforts.

    As far as documentaries about food go, this one is actually pretty good - fairly well balanced, not too-hysterical, no scary footage of farm animals, some pretty good info. There are a couple of wackadoodles in the show, but they are pretty well balanced by good information. I liked this one. It's on Netflix right now.

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