Are you alone...

Bluebox32
Bluebox32 Posts: 100 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
In your weight loss or getting fit journey? I am trying to lose weight but my husband is not along for the same ride. It can be very discouraging.
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Replies

  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Yes and no. My hubby agrees it would be good to lose weight (both of us), but he still eats a big bowl of ice cream or has snacky stuff in the evenings. It's so hard because I like that stuff too, but I can't have it... I can't eat just a couple spoonfulls of Tillamook Mudslide ice cream! :laugh: He says he's proud of me for sticking to it since it's important to me and that I've been getting up to workout almost every day I plan to, but he's on a little bit different of a plan it seems...

    I understand what you're saying about it being a little discouraging though.
  • momm07
    momm07 Posts: 10
    I feel the same way, I feel alone as well, my husband supports me, but I am the one that does all the work, I need to think of what meals to make and it just gets difficult and then I cave and we go out to eat. Its like I have no discipline... I understand how you guys feel. I have just rejoined my fitness pal again, and I will see how it goes. I am going to take it one day at a time.
  • sarahmonsta
    sarahmonsta Posts: 185 Member
    Pretty much my whole family has been over weight or very obese at some point, a lot of them had to get gastric bypass or the lapband to be able to lose the weight. I live with my parents and I had no support from them because they thought it would be easier for me to gain 50lbs and get a bypass, then lose 90lbs. I am 40lbs down and I have NOW gotten a lot of support from my family. My sister used to be jealous and very nasty about it, but now she is proud of me. It was really hard though when they would mock me because I chose different food choices then them. All I can say is motivate yourself, it can be hard, but in the end it is about you. Good luck. =]
  • Cassierocksalot
    Cassierocksalot Posts: 266 Member
    Yes and No. My husband doesn't need to lose any weight. Honestly, he could probably stand to gain a few. On top of it, he's a recovering alcoholic so he craves sugar like CRAZY!! So after dinner every night he goes and dives in to his pantry o' crap and I try to stick to tea or maybe a piece of chocolate. It can be really tough! BUT he is super proud of me for taking this step in my life and helps me plan nutritious meals that we can both enjoy. We're still trying to figure out how I can eat sandwiches without bread (I LOVE sandwiches but have recently noticed a gluten intollerance); he spent over an hour this weekend making me a bunch of different finger sandwiches with slices of cucumbers as the top and bottom. It was adorable!
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
    yep, i'm in this alone, for me and only me. My bf and son eat all kinds of stuff that i can't eat, and i just ignore them and ignore what they are eating. i tell myself its not what i want to eat. and i'm going to find temptation around every corner for the rest of my life, so i may as well learn to deal with it at home.
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
    Alone! I have people who are supportive, but no one is doing it with me. Once I got to the point where I was doing this for me, it became much easier. :) Good luck!
  • appleseeds
    appleseeds Posts: 212 Member
    i started out alone and now my sister has a personal trainer and some of the girls i work with have joined gyms as well.
    i wasnt planning on leading by example or anything, but at christmas when i was alone with my mum she said
    "you losing weight has been the best thing ever for your sister because she is so motivated now"

    sometimes people have to see the change in someone they know to believe it is possible
  • DeMimiaf
    DeMimiaf Posts: 33 Member
    I was alone for long time with no support and no success. But this time, my kids want to go to the exercise room with me and even told me that they don't want to eat junk food and told me their favorite veggies and fruits. That helped me now that I'm not alone. My husband wants to lose weight but he's a terrible procrastinator. So it's time to do something for myself. Kids saw me, went along with me. You can do it anyway you find whatever work for you. Good luck.
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
    He has never said anything about my journey but he ALWAYS wants something sweet. I don't buy it anymore. Tonight he ran to the gas station and bought a donut. Fine with me as long as he doesn't but a dozen. My co workers aren't any better either. They bring in chips and dip, cookies, chocolates. I have TERRIBLE will power so if it is there I am going to eat it.
  • Bluebox32
    Bluebox32 Posts: 100 Member
    I dont feel I have the support. My husband says "you look fine...it could be worse." Thats besides the fact... I could stand to lose 20 pounds and still look healthy. He has gained quite a bit over the past year due to not watching what he eats plus he eats out everyday during lunch. He and the kids love fried chicken wings that he makes on the weekends all the time, he always offers them to me and when I tell him no, he always gets upset and says a couple wings wont make you fat. He just looks at those specific wings but he does that to me all the time and if I cave everytime he wants me to eat something... I really wont be successful.
  • 2013queen
    2013queen Posts: 82
    In the sense of who's at home it's a nightmare.

    My bf is buff! All muscles and apparently "half a stone of fat" but Im not talking fat rolls you can see, I mean body fat that looks more than normal but he wants to shed to be ripped. Bleugh. He works out 4 times a week doing serious heavy weight lifting.
    He eats and drinks whatever he wants, doesnt really "do" carbs anyway (vanity) and drinks at least a beer most evenings.

    My daughter is 15 and so self conscious it worries me. She does eat, so whilst I can monitor her doing that I try not to worry, She is a size 8 and 5ft4, so perfect as she is. I tried forcing her to have decent big sandwiches, wraps or pasta boxes for lunch but she would just ditch them. She now has a decent breakfast, and salad and fruit for lunch, followed by a healthy dinner. I found this is a better way than trying to feed her up a bit.

    So its just me! I have to try and adapt our meals so he can have plenty and enjoy it but so I can have a small, healthy portion... I have to make sure I dont get obsessed (as I have been in the past) so that my daughter doesnt think it is normal to.

    I find it very hard to balance everything for everyone, but I am determined to do this. Just need to strike that balance!
  • MaggieSporleder
    MaggieSporleder Posts: 428 Member
    He says he's with me. Then goes and makes 3 or 4 toasted cheese for lunch sandwiches for himself. (one of my favorites, that I can't have) I don't think he understands, I've tried to get him interested in losing with me. But it's to no avail. I've also quit smoking twice in the past both times sabotaged by my husband who would even try to quit.
  • Lindaharrild
    Lindaharrild Posts: 1
    I can help if youwant somebody to do it with?
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    yeah, while I was losing weight I was alone. My husband needs to lose weight for his health. He has high blood pressure. He also has IBS, and he's not stopping eating the foods he's been and it's honestly starting to piss me off. I'm pregnant now, so obviously I've stopped trying to lose weight, but I'm still eating as healthy as I can. He thinks I don't eat enough and it's very frustrating.
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
    If you are the one shopping for groceries, you do have some control.
  • Iron_warrior33
    Iron_warrior33 Posts: 45
    Yep, I'm totally alone, outside of my trainer. But since I can't get to the gym, I have no one besides MFP friends. I live alone, so, that's a plus. That way I only have to buy and cook, what i eat and guarantee there's no junk food in the house. On the downside, no one that get's excited about my accomplishments, or is there to push me along the way.
  • Zoe2901
    Zoe2901 Posts: 79 Member
    I gave up hoping to get support from hubby and family a lomg time ago to be honest. No one ever asks how i am in general so not likely anyone will take an interest in my quest to improve my health.
    Thats why i like this site there is support and help here for everyone.i think without this site id fail
  • orr_stacie
    orr_stacie Posts: 48 Member
    My 2 and 3 yr olds are with me (they have no choice). My hubby supports me but want the sweets and junk stuff. I only have one true friend that supports me 100%. She is awesome and is really motivating. You only need that one friend and it makes it soooo much easier.
  • LaceyCwell
    LaceyCwell Posts: 45
    Just have to do it for yourself! He will catch on eventually and he wont want to be left in the dust so dont stress about that. Use MFP and maybe find a friend who has the same goals as well so you have a workout buddy! Good luck.
  • xTenaciousJx
    xTenaciousJx Posts: 555
    yes doing it alone over a year BUT i have a great support system around me....including my awesome MFP pals :) My hubby is proud of me...but he always says....he'll eat what he wants when he wants (esp when I try to make him something healthy) Usually I make my food separate...that can get tiring.
  • kali31337
    kali31337 Posts: 1,048 Member
    Yes and no. My hubby agrees it would be good to lose weight (both of us), but he still eats a big bowl of ice cream or has snacky stuff in the evenings. It's so hard because I like that stuff too, but I can't have it... I can't eat just a couple spoonfulls of Tillamook Mudslide ice cream! :laugh: He says he's proud of me for sticking to it since it's important to me and that I've been getting up to workout almost every day I plan to, but he's on a little bit different of a plan it seems...

    I understand what you're saying about it being a little discouraging though.

    Pretty much in the same boat as her. My boyfriend loves that I'm so motivated and is trying to be really supportive...but he just isn't ready to try yet I think. Wasn't too much help when he sat the plate of french fries down in front of me last night. I literally had to make him take them away...my self control isn't just there yet....I would have eaten the whole plate!
  • pineygirl
    pineygirl Posts: 322 Member
    Yes, I'm alone in this. My husband doesn't need to lose weight, he could actually stand to gain a few pounds. He also has much higher calorie requirments than I do because he's a 6'1" tall man with a decent amount of lean muscle mass and I'm a petite woman with a high% of body fat vs. lean muscle.

    He also can't stand when I cook healthy food most of the time...so I usually have to make seperate meals for the two of us.
  • mandimuscles
    mandimuscles Posts: 107 Member
    Friend are truly a god-send in this for that exact reason. I don't have his support with this stuff at home. He will tell me what exactly I need to do and everything I'm doing wrong, as he's shoving 3 PB &J sandwhiches in his mouth the one time of day he eats, but he does agree he and my son should eat better, and they do when I cook and buy healthier, but I'm traveling this road alone as far as eating better, working out etc. But I do have my BFF right beside me doing it too and several of my friends are in the same boat. All I can do is change me, and not enable the boys at home. If they want unhealthier options, I am not planning it out on the meal plan for the week nor cooking two meals, they are on their own with it. You can't help someone not willing to help themselves! It's not easy, but the road is SO worth it when you feel SO much better about yourself!
  • stingray1982
    stingray1982 Posts: 7
    I am totally alone in doing this. But not really, I have all the people here at MFP to motivate me. I haven't figured out yet how to do the friend request yet. But 1 person sent me a request so I know I can contact at least 1 person. Other than that I always have message boards to read and reply on!! I am doing this for me and that is what motivates me! My sister had gastric bypass surgery and lost weight. But that wasn't for me. I want to do this naturally. This is a lifestyle change and I know I want this!!
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    Yes... and no. I do all the cooking and grocery shopping in the house so my housemates (brothers) eat what is there but if they want other things they just go buy them.

    My mom is losing weight as well as one of my best friends is as well so its not like I am completely alone. I don't have a significant other at the moment so... yes...and no.
  • ToshaFeb268
    ToshaFeb268 Posts: 71
    Yes and No. My husband doesn't need to lose any weight. Honestly, he could probably stand to gain a few. On top of it, he's a recovering alcoholic so he craves sugar like CRAZY!! So after dinner every night he goes and dives in to his pantry o' crap and I try to stick to tea or maybe a piece of chocolate. It can be really tough! BUT he is super proud of me for taking this step in my life and helps me plan nutritious meals that we can both enjoy. We're still trying to figure out how I can eat sandwiches without bread (I LOVE sandwiches but have recently noticed a gluten intollerance); he spent over an hour this weekend making me a bunch of different finger sandwiches with slices of cucumbers as the top and bottom. It was adorable!

    Sounds like you and your hubby are a match made in heaven! It's sorta like that with me and my hubby. We both have been able to blend what we enjoy as far as eating and it's working so far. I wish you well and love your wedding photo. :happy:
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
    My husband, I won't say supports me totaly but he doesn't appear to sabbatoge me either. But I know in the past when he will suggest something to me or ask me why I'm eating something especially after I do a workout...I get pissy at him...which I guess is why he just has quit saying anything to me anymore...
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
    I have been feeling quite alone for some time now and that my fella has been dangling temptation in front of me, and yep sabotaging my goals BUT i suddenly got my stuff together and thought if im going to do this i am going to have to do it without help. been out running today first time in absolutely ages........ just had a text from my fella "wow if you are going to be getting all slim again I will have to join you..... etc" maybe i just needed to show a bit of backbone and he was ready to join me??????

    Alone together c'mon let's do this for ourselves!
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
    Yes, and no. My hubs is 6 feet and weighing in at about 180 or so. He thinks he's overweight, so whenever I start to watch what I eat he turns it into a constest. Which I hate, because, while he could stand to tone up, he doesn't have any real weight to lose. But he still eats like crap, which annoys me. Because I can't eat like crap and be slim.... =-)
  • CarolinaMoon76
    CarolinaMoon76 Posts: 78
    Yes and no - my OH wants to lose 15lbs but he doesn't actually want to do too much about it. However he eats what I decide so is doing my diet with me :laugh: He knows he needs to start exercising but a) he is a little nervous about it and b) he does work long hours and struggles to find the time.

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