Calling all parents of sedentary kids!

2

Replies

  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
    Karate lessons are great for exercise and building confidence. Might be a good option for your son.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,624 Member
    I was sedentary as a kid even though my mom tried to encourage me to take dance lessons like she did. I just wasn't interested. I like to read and never was good at sports. I was always slim though until a few years ago so I never worried about weight or eating right. I think you shouldn't make him "workout" if he doesn't want to, but I would definitely change his diet. He needs healthy foods (fruits/veggies/etc) to grow and be healthy and to learn how to eat well for when he becomes an adult. Your husband needs to suck it up and learn how to be a man and give his son the good food he needs. I would never put up with a husband like that, I would make one thing for dinner and that's it. I would make sure I am taking care of my families nutritional needs.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    My kid has been as much of a couch potato as her old man was. We loved nothing more than sitting around watching tv all day.

    But as I made this change for myself.. she started to pick it up.

    She would do funny things, like run in circles in her room and call it exercise.

    Then I took her rock climbing with me and she loved it.

    I would show her the mud races I was participating in. Now we're both going to do a Foam Race together.

    And as of yesterday.. my tv loving daughter made the swim team. I'm so proud I'm kind of choked up just typing this.

    Do this for yourself. Lead by example. The kids will follow.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    My 10 year old stepson is a little overweight for his age, mostly because his dad lets him eat whatever, and play video games all day, and is so paranoid/anti-social that he won't let him play outside very much.
    Our half of the year, he's outside constantly, and enjoys it. Everytime he's home, he loses weight, goes through a growth spurt (I blame it on making him eat veggies), and is happier until he leaves.

    We don't make him work out, we don't take him for a run, we make him go outside and play. He gets 1-2 hours of computer time every day, the rest of the time he's either playing with his little brother, or outside running around with friends.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I may be a complete *kitten* for saying this, but I just don't understand the whole "I make 2 dinners" and "I pack him a lunch I would never imagine eating." My son is 3 and eats what I give him, if he doesn't want all or some of what is on his plate he'll see it again as part of the next meal and there are no treats. If he comes to me and says "I'm hungry" I give him whatever it was he refused to eat the last time. I can't remember the last time he refused to eat something (other then mashed potatoes, it's a long story but we don't push them). If my husband wants something other than what I'm eating he can figure out that on his own, he's a grown *kitten* man with the capability to find other food. For me this isn't a matter of weight, it's a matter of health and learning how to eat in a balanced way from a young age. Not saying that my son doesn't get chocolate or chips or ice cream or cookies ever, but he gets those after he's eaten his fair share of fruits, veggies, and protein. And not to say we don't have splurge days, damn I love a tater tot, just that those are the off meals and not the every meals.
  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
    Oh, and stop making two dinners. Make enough for you, your husband, and your son that is healthy and filling. If your husband throws a fit, tell him to make himself dinner, but you and your son are going to eat what you made.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    I really appreciate all the replies. Please keep the ideas coming.

    A few things...

    He has played sports since he was old enough. He has a "trophy" for every year from 2008-now. He's played t-ball and soccer, but also participated in Karate. He is not the most athletic kid and is kind of awkward on the field. He is aware that he isn't the fastest and that bothers him, even though we've not said a word. His friends have started making comments that tag isn't as fun when he is "it" because he isn't fast. Hearing this bothered me and clearly him, otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned it.

    Do I continue pushing sports when I am well aware it affects his self-esteem? We tried Karate. He enjoyed it until his teacher humiliated him for not being physically able to do a stretch. He didn't understand what he was asking, and instead of him helping or showing him proper form he screamed at him over and over until I had to intervene. He kind of shut down in a panic. Sorry, I'm not going to allow my then 6 year old to be brought to tears because an adult is not doing their job as a teacher. It has very much scared him away from classes like that.

    We are a member of a huge gym that doubles as a swim club. He goes to "kid's quest" while I workout. There's inflatables and giant climbing things. Sometimes he'll play and sometimes he won't. It really depends on his mood. We also swim a lot during the winter. He does get activity on occasion but if I allow him his stuff at home that's where he'd much rather be.

    I will definitely look into the geocaching!! I realize now that I shouldn't call it exercise and just emphasis activity. We don't say the word fat around here - just healthy.
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    I may be a complete *kitten* for saying this, but I just don't understand the whole "I make 2 dinners" and "I pack him a lunch I would never imagine eating." My son is 3 and eats what I give him, if he doesn't want all or some of what is on his plate he'll see it again as part of the next meal and there are no treats. If he comes to me and says "I'm hungry" I give him whatever it was he refused to eat the last time. I can't remember the last time he refused to eat something (other then mashed potatoes, it's a long story but we don't push them). If my husband wants something other than what I'm eating he can figure out that on his own, he's a grown *kitten* man with the capability to find other food. For me this isn't a matter of weight, it's a matter of health and learning how to eat in a balanced way from a young age. Not saying that my son doesn't get chocolate or chips or ice cream or cookies ever, but he gets those after he's eaten his fair share of fruits, veggies, and protein. And not to say we don't have splurge days, damn I love a tater tot, just that those are the off meals and not the every meals.

    It's very difficult to break habits we learned as children through OUR parents. I am now well aware that I am trying to please with food and need to stop. I am too leinent.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    For starters, is he currently overweight? Just by the pic in your avatar, I'd say no, but my son doesn't really look overweight either and he is.

    Next, you say your mother called you fat all the time. REMEMBER THAT when dealing with your son. Stress being healthy. Don't ever mention your concern he'll be overweight. He's only 7.

    Should you put your foot down? Absolutely. You and your husband both are responsible for feeding your children nutritious food. If you give him crap, that's what he'll eat and that's the ONLY thing he'll eat. If your husband doesn't like it, tough. I assume that he doesn't cook anyway so it's up to you LOL.

    Finally, on the exercise, why are you giving him a choice? He's 7. With my kids, we walk at the park (and when we're done walking, they get to play at the playset), or bike together, and sometimes even run together. You're the parent so you decide what he gets to do and not do. When at home, it's harder so do things outside of the home. Hey, I'm going to the park for a walk, put your shoes on. Don't ask if he wants to go, make it a given that he's going. Swimming lessons are also great for this. An individual sport that every child should learn for safety, and great exercise. My kids also play golf and baseball/softball. Golf is a nice one for kids, though not a cheap sport.

    Good luck!

    Thank you for your input. I don't know why I am giving him a choice, honestly. I need to just tell him and deal with the complaining differently (by ignoring it!). He is not currently overweight, but he has ALWAYS been in the higher percentile and is close. His doctor made a comment last visit that his weight climbed higher than his height over the past year and I've been worried about it ever since. I STRESS that we need to be healthy and stay away from the "F" word. That is a very bad word in our home.

    This is going to have to start with me cutting out the options.

    Trust me, I know how hard it is. My son is 9 and knows he's overweight. I didn't want to put that on him (I feel like that should be my worry, not his) but the Dr. said it. And 9 is probably getting old enough for some honesty.
  • kelly101386
    kelly101386 Posts: 389 Member
    Try getting out a little more definitely, we take our little ones geocaching when the weather is good and they love it. 5 mile walk, with treasure to find, amazing for them, pack a picnic. It depends on the sort of locations you live near, we are fortunate to be five minute drive away from national parks.

    I was going to suggest karate but not if the sensei is going to be like that, downright mean!
  • iamkarent
    iamkarent Posts: 145 Member
    You are his mom...so if you know at 7 he is eating badly...now is your chance to teach him healthy eating habits. Whether or not he will eventually be fat is secondary...even a skinny person who only eats junk...isn't healthy...

    At 7 he isn't choosing his diet...you are. His father should want what is best for him as well...and even if it causes temporary issue...his health should come first

    Not saying that it has to be all or nothing on the junk...but primarily he should be eating healthy.

    Time for a sit down with Dad...and stop bringing it the house...tell Dad...it isn't healthy for a growing boy to eat this way...if you are going to eat that way...you will need to get it yourself, and make your own unhealthy choices for dinner...

    One dinner...semi healthy(not food a normal kid would never touch) You want cookies after...then you need to eat "3 bites" of each vegetable...etc

    You are the mom....

    And yes, I have kids...4 of them...and they eat vegetables....reluctantly at times..but they do..

    They also eat far more treats than I do as well...but that is perfectly fine with me...as long as they get the good stuff in there first.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    One rule we've always had in our house is, if you don't like what we're having for dinner, you can have any fruit or veggie in the house. If they don't like the veggie we're having with dinner, they can always have raw baby carrots or sliced cucumbers if we have any (we always have carrots at least).

    I suppose I'm lucky in that my kids eat healthy. Sure, they'd live on junk if I let them, but they will eat tons of fruits and veggies too. All 3 of them (even the 2 yr old) eat salad.
  • rosiemay3
    rosiemay3 Posts: 12
    Hi! I'm not a parent, but my sister is VERY healthy and active, however she put on a lot of weight between the ages of 10 and 12. Then, when she lost it (naturally, with no extra exercise or healthy eating). I think this might be something a lot of kids go through at the start of puberty, so don't be too worried :)
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    Try getting out a little more definitely, we take our little ones geocaching when the weather is good and they love it. 5 mile walk, with treasure to find, amazing for them, pack a picnic. It depends on the sort of locations you live near, we are fortunate to be five minute drive away from national parks.

    I was going to suggest karate but not if the sensei is going to be like that, downright mean!

    Geocaching is a GREAT suggestion. I keep meaning to try that with my kids. I know they'd love it.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    Hi! I'm not a parent, but my sister is VERY healthy and active, however she put on a lot of weight between the ages of 10 and 12. Then, when she lost it (naturally, with no extra exercise or healthy eating). I think this might be something a lot of kids go through at the start of puberty, so don't be too worried :)

    This is true, but 7 is far too young to be starting puberty. With boys, that pretty routinely starts at 11. 9 is the super young side of that (and could explain my son's recent weight gain, despite tons of exercise and healthy eating), but 7 is definitely not within the realm. While girls are starting puberty younger and younger, that effect is far less prevalent in boys.
  • iuangina
    iuangina Posts: 691 Member
    Stop making 2 dinners. It's a waste of your time and doesn't help anyone.

    As far as your son goes, there are lots of ways to get active without being involved in team sports. It's also possible that he wasn't involved in the right kind of team sport. I have some friends who have their kids in rock-climbing (indoors), as well as rowing. It's also possible that he may just be the type of kid that it's going to be hard to motivate. I would get away from giving him the choices to participate or not. Tell him he needs to pick something and that he is going to stick with it.
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
    I don't think you should force Spence to play something he doesn't enjoy.
    Everyone raises their kids differently.
    I do make Cody choose a sport but he does enjoy team sports.
    Cody isn't the fastest kid and his friends do say things to him and other kids but when I coached, I nipped that in the butt, but not all coaches are the same.
    Its all about finding things he enjoys besides reading or video games.
    You have been around on my facebook for a few yrs, you are an amazing mom, you will find out what is right for him.
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
    I was going to suggest martial arts of some form and also the YMCA. My kids are older, but went through a similar situation with my son. He wan't really sedentary, but rather didn't "fit in" with the other kids in all the sports he tried. We went through soccer, football, baseball, basketball, tennis. What I finally discovered was he never felt he could do as good as his sister (she is a year older & VERY athletic). Finally stumbled upon Unified Tae Kwon Do & it was literally a life saver! I pulled his sister aside & told her this was something she would NOT do; it was to be her brothers sport only. In March he will testing to get his 2nd degree blackbelt. Did he ever want to quit? Yes, but I made him stick with it & now he helps teach the classes & has earned the respect of all the younger kids in the school. He loves it & one day wants to have his own school!

    Sorry for the lengthy story but just wanted to encourage you that you can make it work. You just have to keep trying till you find something he likes.
  • iamkarent
    iamkarent Posts: 145 Member
    Oh and as for the activity level, with a "brain" child.

    I have one of those...he never wanted to do anything competitive as far as sports go etc. Find him activities he can enjoy that don't team him up with or against other kids...

    Like a skateboard, a bike, shoot some hoops with him...

    And limit was is acceptable as screen time daily. If he doesn't have the option of more screen time, he will probably find something to do..

    But at 7, screen time should be very limited unless lousy weather or sick.

    My son was always a reader as well...tough to tell them not to read...but you can make them go for a walk with you etc.
  • Tiggermummy
    Tiggermummy Posts: 312 Member
    It is hard, there will be tears, but he will learn if you teach him.

    As someone earlier said let him earn time on his D's etc by doing some sort of sport. But he needs to make an effort.
    Ask him if he has any idea what sort of sport he would like to try or start him off walking or riding his bike round the block
    And get faster or go further.
    My eldest started asking to join me on a sat morning doing parkrun 5K she did 1 lap the first time. The next time she did
    All three laps. She is now trying to earn her t.shirt as a junior (10 park runs) before her next birthday in feb
    She has two more to do. She also goes along to volunteer on a few occasions. She will be 6 in Feb.
    Since she joined me our youngest daughter (aged 3 when she started) has now done 5 and daddy has joined us too,
    They love that we take part as a family. We are careful not to push our youngest (now 4) if she decides to jog we just keep
    up with her. As long as she doesn't slow to a crawl. Doesn't do our stats and PB's a lot of good but we don't mind
    as we get to do something together, and that makes it more fun.

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