feeling defeated

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avalon26
avalon26 Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have lost a total of 26lbs so far and when I am at home or working out I feel awesome. I like seeing how I look in the mirror, I know I am never going to be tiny, but i like seeing my curves and the muscle cuts in my legs. However there are some nights I will get dressed up at home and feel totally confident in the mirror and think I look pretty good, and then we go out and I feel huge and insecure and unattractive. Same thing when I go to buy clothes, I can't wear most styles because of my breasts and I end up leaving the store depressed. I know its a mind over matter thing but it really makes me not want to go out at all and to somewhat hide in my house.

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  • salcala
    salcala Posts: 19
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    First of all, it's only important how you look at yourself. People can sense a person's confidence. Women who are confident radiate a sexy vibe. Feel good about yourself and others will follow. Secondly, about your clothes, remember when shopping that certain styles of clothes are made for certain body styles. I have a friends who is a size zero who feels the same when she tries on clothes because they don't fit her properly. Find a cut that suits you and start from there. The fact that you have lost 26 lbs. is amazing. I am so proud of you!
  • FabulousFifty
    FabulousFifty Posts: 1,575 Member
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    You hang in there. I am proud of you for making such progress so far. Focus on the positives. Think about where you were a year ago. Then, get out and enjoy the day. Don't focus on the negative. Give yourself a little talkin' to...Say, "Self, you are looking good and feeling better! Let's win this race by being consistant and positive!" Play a new tape in your head. After a while, you will begin to believe it. Everyday won't be perfect and you will experience "slumps." You can reach out to your MFP pals for support. I am proud of you girlie! :flowerforyou:
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
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    It certainly takes longer for our emotional self to catch up with physical self as we lose weight. Our self image is so ingrained in us; it takes perseverance in positive "head talk" to break new ground. Just keep using your mirror to admire how much you have lost and see a confident woman who is making a positive difference in her life. I would bet if you would take a supportive friend with you shopping that it would also boast what you feel at those times. I know that from experience. You are losing the weight, you are feeling better, you look magnificent! Hang in there and work through those defeated feelings.
  • Kath15
    Kath15 Posts: 165 Member
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    You have lost 26lbs which is totally awesome and you should be proud of yourself! I know it's hard to feel confident and fight those feelings of insecurity (everyone has them at some point or another), but it's really up to yourself to overcome that. You can be surrounded by people who tell you that you look good, but it doesn't really matter if you don't believe or feel it yourself. Learn to channel that positive energy that you have at home into the person that you take outside and show to the world. Trust me, I know it's hard. And, yes, a shopping trip-dressing room and all, can be very defeating. Sometimes, you can try a gazillion different things and none of them work for you. But, another day you may find just that one piece of clothing that makes you look fabulous. It may take a lot more looking and trying, but don't let it discourage you. Nowadays, I actually think that fashion has become more accommodating to women of different sizes. As far as my advice about shopping... Don't get caught up in size. A lot of women make the mistake of deciding that they are a certain size and won't budge. Sometimes just going up a size makes all the difference (just as going down does). Now, with the 'boob issue'....it's all about a good, properly fitting bra...it can either make or break an outfit. If you're flatter, hello push-up. If you're fuller (like me), a minimizer can really help -it can pull you down an inch or two -which can really help with clothing fit. If you ever wear button down shirts, it helps fight against those dreaded gaps between buttons. And, for us curvier women, V-necks and A-lines are our friends. And, I have to say, if there is one thing that makes me feel better (and almost every other woman), it's buying a great pair of shoes. You can strut around in them, feeling and looking good...and not worrying, "Do I look fat in this?" The bottom line is that we all have feelings of doubt and insecurity, but we just have to work them out. Yeah, and sometimes, all we just want to do is wallow in those feelings. I say, go ahead and do that. But, when you are done, get right back up and do something you enjoy and that makes you feel good about yourself. You can do it. You've lost 26lbs. and most probably will lose more. So, be proud of yourself -own it. We are all a 'work in progress' so know that you are not alone.

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