Are you an "all or nothing" person?

Lisa1971
Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all. I used to be like this but I am trying to change. In the past I'd workout like crazy and if I slipped up I'd say "Oh well. I blew it so now I might as well eat all I want." Or I'd exercise and restrict myself like crazy for a few days. When I slipped up I'd give up for the entire week.

This site is allowing me to hold myself accountable and realize that IF and when I slip up to just pick myself up and try again. In the past I would just give up. I hate that I did that but I am really trying to realize that 1 cookie or going over my calorie amounts does not mean all is lost.

Just wondering if I am the only one who is trying to change this. Thanks.

Replies

  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    The "al or nothing: syndrome is one of the traps we have to stay out of in order to be successful at long term healthy changes. Congratulations on succeeding in this endeavor for YOU. Since I adopted a one day and a time attitude, my self sabotage has decreased. Even though I haven't lost much since January due to personal issues that keep me from doing as much exercise as I was doing, I still feel successful because I am NOT gaining, and I am still keeping track of the food choices I make. When a consistent schedule of exercise can be re-introduced into my schedule, I know I will continue to lose.
  • Channing
    Channing Posts: 617 Member
    This is something I still struggle with every day. What has helped me is the realization that I'm not on a diet, this is the way I choose to live my life. If I slip up and have a big plate of nachos and a peice of cheesecake (two of my faves :love: ) instead of feeling guilty or giving up for the day or week, I try to think that I'm still allowed to have those things, just not all the time. And then I get right back into my routine.

    You're not alone!
  • ssingle
    ssingle Posts: 1
    I am the exact same way and was just thinking about it yesterday. Having the "all or nothing" perspective is very self defeating. I've looked back at weight loss successes and thought, "why did I let myself gain it all back (and then some)?" I realized it was because once I slipped up, I would revert completely to the do-nothing MO, because of disappointment in myself or loss of motivation. I would be so hard on myself about a slip that I'd lose confidence that I could do it. I'm learning that it's better to forgive yourself for slip ups and also to understand that the big picture is much more important. Realistically, if you slip up a bit, it is not going to make a huge impact if the majority of your habits are on track. Balance and moderation are words I'm trying to become more comfortable with. And this site is helping me tremendously. I had taken a several month hiatus and I logged in and found that the site was giving me encouragement even when I wasn't there. Their words were kind and motivating, and I thought I should take a cue from them to learn how to encourage myself too when I'm not following my diet/exercise regime perfectly.
  • 25daniow
    25daniow Posts: 121 Member
    I have always been this way too and am trying to NOT be this way this time around. Taking it one day at a time and knowing that there will be slip-ups is OK....which is what I have to keep reminding myself. I don't want to give up this time and want to keep those lbs I lose off for good and the only way to do that is to keep going no matter what. The encouragement from other people is what I think is so great about this site....it gives me motivation to keep going. Good luck and keep at it!
  • tlilly80
    tlilly80 Posts: 27
    I definitely use to be before MFP. But then I realized that I could have a "bad lunch" but make up for it with some extra excersize or better dinner choices. I no longer try to hold myself up to impossible standards but at the same time I keep my eye on the prize! I love how each day starts with a clean diary page ;)
  • Heather_023
    Heather_023 Posts: 76 Member
    You are definitely not the only one, I've been the exact same way for as long as I can remember. And saying that it is a self sabotaging behavior is the perfect description. I'd get close to a weigh in or goal and all of a sudden if I had a cookie, that's it, my whole diet is shot and I'd eat like 10 cookies! I mean, of course I wouldn't lose weight if I ate 10 cookies and while it was still my fault at least there was a 'reasonable' explanation for it, instead of the obvious that I just wasn't putting enough effort into it!

    In my opinion, the best feature on this site for fighting that is the "If every day were like this you'd be ___ in 5 weeks." Even if you do slip up a bit it still shows you that everything is not lost and that you're more than likely still going to lose, even if it is just a little bit.
  • kajaknowers
    kajaknowers Posts: 113 Member
    I am a naturally compulsive person....when I set my mind to something I will usually do it.....past diets have often resulted in large weightloss due to my ability in saying I cannot eat anything....once I went without food for 2 weeks but obviously once I ate again I gained it back in a matter of weeks.....So far, I continue to restrict myself and stay to my 1200 cal diet and exercise depending on how much i want to eat and I haven't had a single slip up day in nearly 4 months.....due to my nature I know that if I have a day I go "I'm just gonna eat what I want" I will slip rapidly into old habits....or at least thats what I thought.....for the first time since doing any diet I am doing it sensibly....eating healthy and just enough and I am fianlly happy to lose 1 or 2 lbs a week as I've seen the personal benefits of regaining my confidence as slowly seeing ym body change....its better than any chocolate could possibly taste....I am very curious to see what happens when I want to maintain as at the moment I never order takeaways, I haven't drunk any alcohol since NYE and I am slowly beginning to not even miss it.....the difference with this compulsive behavior is that there is nothing detrimental to my health plus to have a bad day would literally make me feel horrible.....its nowhere near worth it.

    I'm proud on myself and my biggest goal of being "overweight is literally like 10 lbs away and the last time I remember being that weight was when I was perhaps 16.....this website is so helpful too....i can mention anything I like that I wouldn't say to friends and relatives. This is the last time I ever want to be on a diet to lose weight.....maintenance is the way forward

    x
  • courtney_love2001
    courtney_love2001 Posts: 1,468 Member
    I used to be like this, really strict about what I ate. I wouldn't eat anything I considered "bad." Now that I have been at this awhile, I realize I can indulge in those things and it won't make me gain back the 50 lbs. I can't eat those things everyday, but once a week or so I have a burger and fries, or a pizza, etc. That doesn't always mean that I order it out, though. I love to re-make my fave foods my way, so I know what goes into them and know that they are nutritious. I think it's just getting used to the idea of "eating to live" and changing your eating habits accordingly. I love food and am a self-professed foodie, but I am healthy. You will figure it out with time...good luck!
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
    This is definitely something that I struggle with. I throw myself fully into something, but when the initial excitement dies down, I find myself bailing out entirely. That just doesn't cut it with long-term health. I need to realize that I need to make good choices the majority of the time and exercise more days than not, but I don't have to eat perfectly or spend hours a day working out to see long-term success.
  • tvgal
    tvgal Posts: 87
    :smile: bump to read for later :smile:
  • KarenECunningham
    KarenECunningham Posts: 419 Member
    I am a recovering 'all or nothing person' :happy: I would get excited when I started a weight loss plan and then when the weight loss would slow down I would get mad and give up :grumble: . This is the longest I have stuck with a plan (3 months now) I take it a day at a time and if I have a moment (like eating a cookie or a few french frys) I recognize that is all it is, just one moment. The way I am eating now is my plan for a lifetime and I don't even consider it a diet. :flowerforyou:
  • DanaeWilde
    DanaeWilde Posts: 7
    I have been exactly the same way, so your post really speaks to me. I, too, am trying to change that outlook--and like you, this site is helping me with that a lot! Because of the tools here, I am learning to recognize what a reasonable portion is and trying to stay within that limit. That does not mean that I always make it. It is more like sometimes I make it and the rest of the time I could really do better. However, I am finding that the more I stick with it, the more natural it is becoming for me to eat within a healthier range. Here is to improving a little at a time, day by day, rather than having to be perfect and then falling short and beating oneself up! Hang in there, and remember, it is not that we are going to make it someday, it is that we ARE making it right now, THIS day!
  • avedon
    avedon Posts: 14 Member
    I was (or maybe still am!) an all or nothing person too. In the past I would do a few weeks of extreme diet and exercise and get good results but then once I was off the wagon - I was OFF. zero exercise, zero concern for what I ate.
    Using MFP this time round has really helped with that, I've been going 6 weeks and sure, i've had some 'bad' days but continuing to log them inspires me to get right back to being good the very next day rather than start on that slippery slope.
    This is the longest I've stuck too a diet and exercise plan, and the first time I truely feel that I can and will make it to the end!
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