Holy cow. Here I go again.

hoovergram
hoovergram Posts: 3
in Introduce Yourself
Hello everybody. Well, here I am (again)--not here as in specifically "here", but rather here as in "holy hell I have actually lived for 55 years and I swear 52.6 of those years have been on a never-ending search for the real me hiding within these layers of, well, fluff". That kind of "here". "Here" as if it is a place I've ever really left. And so, I could go for the same old introduction I have given on WW boards, Spark boards, blah blah blah boards. You know, the old "This has to be my last shot at this" "I have to get health now or forget it" and/or the infamous "This time I really am serious". But really. Here is the truth: I am a 55 year old not quite menopausal woman who doesn't exercise, works at least 12-15 hours a day, and weighs in at the morbidly obese level. I am not stupid, but you sure couldn't tell that where food is concerned.

You know, earlier tonight, I read in the "READ THIS FIRST NEWBIES" section about a woman who was eating only 500-700 calories a day and who had shot her metabolism all to hell and back. That could be me. I have lived that story and here I am. Tonight I had to force myself to eat something when I got home from work after 11 hours. I caught myself thinking "Oh, I'm not really hungry--I did well today with food, and if I just don't eat tonight, it will just be that many fewer calories". This site has helped me so much after only 2 days. (I know--my motivation is still young--but at this moment I am sincere). I had no idea--literally, no idea--how bad my nutrition has been. Yesterday, for example, I was at less than 20% RDA Calcium. Now I have no intention of abandoning my bones, but there it is. I am left tonight with this question: Who is it that is really asking me to do this to myself? Who is asking me to work such long hours that I don't even have the energy to fix a meal when I get home? When is it that I think I will intervene in this process ? "Later"? The answer is that this really does have to change because I am killing my body slowly. Someday, without a change, I will no longer have a decision to make. So, here I am. Beginning again. Because I'm worth it. My family is worth it. Thanks for this site that is so well put together. And thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Replies

  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
    This is a really really great site, and it's free, too! I had no idea I could lose weight at my age (51 this week) but it's possible. Not the way I used to do it, in a flash by eating less. It took work. It took actually eating. It took re-learning how to eat. I had to push my butt off the couch and actually change myself. In fact, it has to be a permanant lifestyle change. The good news is that it is possible. I feel 10 years younger. The change is so worth it that I have changed for a lifetime. It's gradual, and it's progressive. The main most important thing is to keep going. Every trip and every stumble, keep going. Because it's a process (bla bla bla, right?). IT's corny, but putting in the time and being consistantly trying every single day is what makes you succeed. And the healthy benefits are obvious as you go along.
  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
    At 49 I understand the "at this age"," it has got to change", "it's now or never" mentality. It does work, just keep at it, don't expect perfection, just keep eating right and tracking. Eventually you may think about adding excercise. Before you know it, you will have created a new pattern, which becomes part of your healthier life.
  • getmebackforlife
    getmebackforlife Posts: 20 Member
    At 46 I understand where you are coming from. And things are different for most people as they age. I remember hearing ...when you get older it's harder to loose weight etc etc. And oh man it was true. When I was 35 I lost 30 pounds in a matter of months by working out SOME (as in a time or 2 a week) and using a soy shake product that was sold at GNC at the time (loved it and wish I could still find it but can't find it anywhere---maybe not made anymore. Think it was from Sweden?) I would eat dinner and snack on fruit and raw veggies all day. Now, if I eat raw veggies I have an IBS episode so finding a healthy snack food is a lot harder. And keeping my calories in check does not result in a 2 or more pound a week weight loss for sure!!
  • wjrapp
    wjrapp Posts: 56 Member
    I can relate to every one of you who have posted...been there...this is a great site and has some great ppl for inpiration and motivation...welcome back...glad you're here!:wink:
  • mttlng
    mttlng Posts: 6
    You are a great writer, hope to hear more from you.
    It is great to be able to eat (quite a bit, in fact) AND lose weight!
  • hoovergram
    hoovergram Posts: 3
    Oh I can so relate to everything in the replies ! I think I have (finally) found a home--so glad. Thanks for the encouragement and the warm welcome !!

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