My friends wedding

Fox_n_sox · January 2013

So in about 2 months my friend is getting married. I am 1 of the 4 Bridesmaids. She decided Sunday what dresses we should wear. Only her sister who is the Maid of Honor tried it on. Now mind you, all 4 of us are COMPLETELY different looking. The shortest is 4'11 and built like a line backer, and I am 5'11 and thick w/ large chest. Her sister is thin w/ no chest. And she is ordering the dresses out of a catalog. The dress cost's $215. She told me this Sunday and the money is needed TODAY. My daughter is ALSO in the wedding, and I have to pay for her dress as well. Pay for hair, make-up ($30),shoes, etc. Is it wrong for me to ask her to pay for my daughters accessories, dress etc? Or even do my own make-up? I am in a serious financial situation and she knows this, and she likes to slack on everything. She has not even sent out invitations. I have not been included on anything. I do not even know where the wedding is being held at. I don't know what this dress looks like. Do I sit back or speak up?

corn63 · January 2013

So in about 2 months my friend is getting married. I am 1 of the 4 Bridesmaids. She decided Sunday what dresses we should wear. Only her sister who is the Maid of Honor tried it on. Now mind you, all 4 of us are COMPLETELY different looking. The shortest is 4'11 and built like a line backer, and I am 5'11 and thick w/ large chest. Her sister is thin w/ no chest. And she is ordering the dresses out of a catalog. The dress cost's $215. She told me this Sunday and the money is needed TODAY. My daughter is ALSO in the wedding, and I have to pay for her dress as well. Pay for hair, make-up ($30),shoes, etc. Is it wrong for me to ask her to pay for my daughters accessories, dress etc? Or even do my own make-up? I am in a serious financial situation and she knows this, and she likes to slack on everything. She has not even sent out invitations. I have not been included on anything. I do not even know where the wedding is being held at. I don't know what this dress looks like. Do I sit back or speak up?

If you can't afford to be in a wedding, don't accept the invitation to be in the wedding. You can explain to her your financial situation but there's probably a reason why you're paying for your daughters accessories (like she can't/doesn't want to pay for them). We all have wedding horror stories but it basically comes down to, if you don't want to do it or can't afford it, bow out. Maybe offer to be one of her personal attendants for the wedding day.

HappyNinjaStar · January 2013

Weddings are always stick situations. In this case, I'd have a little sit down with your friend and be very honest about your financial situation. Tell her that you can't afford the things she wants you to purchase for you and your daughter. Offer to bow out of the wedding party and tell her you are sorry if this makes her plans harder.

If she says she really wants you and your daughter to participate, give her some options that you can afford, such as doing your own make-up, bridesmaids picking their own dresses, etc.

If she doesn't really want you in the wedding, she should accept your offer to bow out gracefully, if not, well then her true colors are flying and you definitely know you made the right choice.

Good luck!

Fox_n_sox · January 2013

No she REALLY wants me & my daughter in her wedding. I just feel that I did not get a say in the dress. And she know's about my financial situation. But it's the fact that she is needing everything ASAP because she is planning it so late.

Aspiring_Inferno · January 2013

I'm the MOH in my best friends wedding coming up in MAY. This is my fourth wedding that i've professionaly coordinated. From my experiences ordering dresses online or out of a catalog is a catastophic mistake! You should really sit down and talk to her!

I have coordinated (2) weddings in under 22 days.. start to finish! She has 2 months, what she needs is an organize freak that can take her thoughts, everyones finances and make magic out of it. That may have to be you.

I will tell you, that she shouldn't be so hasty with the dress choice. My best friend and I found the bridesmaids dresses for her wedding at Macy's, and they only cost $100. (blue dress on my profile)

She needs to know that even with a time restriction, she has choices... but most of all she needs the support of her bridesmaids. (ALL OF THEM) Coordinating a wedding is very very hard. Thats why there are bridesmaids... to help make that day perfect for your friend.

ZeeShay · January 2013

I'm going to be in one of my best friends wedding this april. and i spoke up when it came time to pick the dress. she was only letting her very thin very boobless sisters pick and try on dresses. i had to step in a voice my concerns because i dodnt want to pay 100+ for something that wouldnt look nice or fit properly. you just have to do it in a nice way

iLoveMyPitbull1225 · January 2013

Is it wrong for me to ask her to pay for my daughters accessories, dress etc? Or even do my own make-up? I am in a serious financial situation and she knows this, and she likes to slack on everything. She has not even sent out invitations. I have not been included on anything. I do not even know where the wedding is being held at. I don't know what this dress looks like. Do I sit back or speak up?

Assuming that you didnt get invited to this wedding today, I think its safe to say that youve probably known about this wedding for a long time. It would have been wise if you were in a financially strained position to either A) decline for you and your daughter to be in the wedding or

plan ahead and save your money for these expenses. To answer your question I think its absolutely wrong to ask her to pay for anything. As far as the brides maid dresses, I would speak up you have to wear it and pay for it so it should fit and suit your bodies as well as being afforable. As far as planning on her part, there is nothing you can do about her.

My friends wedding

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