Parental pressure

I have to say, that I totally understand you. I feel like this is not only a weight issue, but a communication issue. I have the same problem with a parent myself. We don't speak the same way. We don't think the same way. For example, he'll say something that I think is condescending and mean-spirited, but he thinks he's be helpful and logical. I put in a lot of research and time to draw to conclusions now, but since I was flighty in the past, it's assumed I'm making stupid decisions.

What I've learned from these experiences is that trying to find approval from parents is great, but there's a moment in your life when you have to realize it's just that: your life. Approval of yourself is far more important.

If you want to get in shape and lose weight because it'll make YOU happy, you'll be more motivated to do so. I know this is hard to actually put into action (trust me, I've been working on it for years), but sometimes everyone's opinion has to become white noise. And you have to be healthy for you. And losing weight needs to be a lifestyle, not a diet. Support groups (people who want to get healthy as well) are extremely helpful. Make attainable goals for yourself and celebrate when you reach them. Instead of saying, 'I need to lose 20lbs', say 'I'll try to lose one pound this week'. And if you achieve it? YAY! If not? Pick yourself up and try again!

If you want, I'd be happy to encourage you and friend you on here. In fact, I'm sort of a loner in my health-adventure as well (my friends and family aren't really into the exercising thing and so I get sidetracked sometimes). We can support each other!

My mum then found my chocolate wrappers under my bed and made comments about my jeans looking tight and tonight she bought it all up, saying that how can I expect her support when I do that? What she doesn't understand is that I do it because of her.

Not to be harsh, but you need to stop making excuses. Once you realize that it's you and ONLY you that's making you overeat - is when that imaginary switch will flip and you will start seeing that only you have the power and control to change you, nobody else.

You are very lucky to have parents who were willing to pay for your attempts and efforts and support you. I think they are frustrated because you blame them. I think when you get older you will see how much your parents really helped you and it was you who really held yourself back.

I post motivational pics on my Facebook page to keep me accountable and motivated. One is

If it's important to you, you will find a way - if not, you will find an excuse

And

Your life is the result in the choices you make..If you don't like your life, it's time you start making better choices

I can see that what you're going through is quite aggravating for you, and reaching out is very important, as is the support of the people who are closest to you. I'm going to attempt to give you a bit of perspective here though so please forgive me if this is not what you want to hear.

First, You're 18, you're an adult. You and you alone have control over what goes into your mouth and what kind of output you're willing to put out. If you want to join a gym you should definitely do so, but don't expect your parents to pay for it for you. Not unless you have an agreement and you earn it.

Second, Weight loss groups DO put a lot of pressure on you. That's what they're meant to do. They are there to provide incentive and yes, some measure of guilt, so that you can meet goals that you are unable to meet on your own.

Third, you've said that your parents are very supportive. Be INCREDIBLY thankful for that. But do not blame your parents for being a bit judgmental when you don't stick to weight loss plans that they pay for. Consider them your physical conscience. They rag on you for eating kitkats? then either a) don't eat kitkats or b) don't complain about needing to lose weight. Now before someone jumps down my throat I am NOT saying "eat clean or else" I have terrible eating habits in some respects as well, but I don't complain about my weight when I know I'm doing something bad for my health. Own it, one way or the other. And yes, a KitKat may only be 107 calories, but I find that it's rarely just one, and those small calorie counts add up! (100 calories, after all is 1/12 of many people's daily calorie limits on this site!)

Fourth, if you want to have the right to tell your parents to get their noses out of your progress? then make the payments yourself. That goes for all aspects of life. If you make your own way and pay your own way then no one has the right to criticize how you're doing it. If you have others helping pay? then you are responsible to them as well as yourself.

Fifth, if you're going to get fit you're going to have to get over this embarrassment of getting red and sweaty in front of people you know. Because that will not be any different when it's people you don't know. It's always a bit embarrassing to think that people are watching you work, and possibly judging how you do it. But it's YOUR workout and YOUR body, not theirs. I ran my first marathon 40 lbs heavier than I am now and it was a bit embarrassing, especially because I came in dead last in a field of 120 people. But it didn't kill me, in fact it made me feel fabulous because no matter what anyone thought? I DID IT. I know that high school can be awful, I couldn't wait to get out of mine, but you may run into people you know no matter where you go, just go consistently and you'll earn their respect for having the balls to do what you set out to do. And own the sweaty mess that working out makes you become, getting a look while on the treadmill? Turn up your music and dance a bit, give them something to look at!

Finally, be very appreciative of your parents. Life is too short to be angry at them for having your best interests at heart. My mom used to rag at me about my weight, my favourite line was "do you really need to eat that?" it drove me bonkers and for a while, like you, I used to think "well if you're going to nag at me then fine I'LL SHOW YOU" and I would eat it just to spite her because it
"really wasn't doing me any harm" except that, in hindsight, it certainly wasn't doing me any good. Now I wish I had the opportunity to show her how much I took her encouragement and guidance to heart and how far I've come. Unfortunately she died in a car crash when I was 17 so I never got the chance.

Most importantly, know that you CAN do this when you are ready to commit to it. But you will be more successful when you do it with a sense of gratitude for the support you are getting!