Ladies do you have a husband like this???? VENT!

Lisa1971
Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
edited September 20 in Chit-Chat
My husband is thin and does NOTHING to maintain it. In fact, he despises most healthy foods and when he goes to the grocery store he buys white bread, full fat milk, full fat mayo, etc. It makes me nuts. I do 99% of the grocery shopping and everytime he opens the fridge or the pantry he complains that "There's nothing to eat" He refuses to eat anything marked lite, or healthy, or low fat or low sodium.

BUT if I make a meal from my WW cookbook and don't "tell" him that it's low in fat and calories he'll eat it and usually loves it! I made spaghetti the other night and he even had seconds but then complained when he saw "whole wheat" on the box!

I don't get it!!! WHYYYYYYY? He thinks thin=healthy. Yet, his mom has diabetes, heart disease etc. He refuses to try and eat better because he has a high metabolism and doesn't think there is anything to "change". He DOES have very high cholesterol so you'd think he'd want to eat better to be healthy but that's not the case at all. His typical day is pizza for breakfast and mcdonald's or cheesesteaks for lunch and then whatever I make for dinner.

He's a 40 year old man for God's sake. Time to eat like a grown up honey! UGH!
Thanks for letting me vent!

Replies

  • amillward27
    amillward27 Posts: 21
    hahaha husbands can be a pain sometimes :-) but mine is the same way when it comes to grocery shopping in a sense except for the fact that if something says "low fat" he assumes it is healthy and that he can consume as much as he wants of it! also he loves his sweets and its so hard to have them in the house. also, like yours, he doesn't want healthy meals. even though they are frustrating sometimes ya gotta love them :-)
  • angela75022
    angela75022 Posts: 100 Member
    No, I do not have a man like this... sorry that its making you nuts... at least you can come here and we dont mind your venting... it helps... trust me it help :flowerforyou:
  • kurtybee
    kurtybee Posts: 17
    Don't take this the wrong way but you know how he was when you married him. He is not going to change with you Nagging him. It will just get both of you mad. If you eat healthy and stay in shape that might turn a switch and maybe he will change. Lead by example you can't force stuff on people even if it is for their own good. I know you wouldn't like someone to force something on you.
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
    Skinny deffinately does not mean healthy..and all that bad eating will catch up to him as the years pass.

    Continue cooking healthy as often as you can, without him knowing, because he will still eat it if he doesnt know, it seems

    Hopefully one day he will realise the benefits of healthy eating, before its too late.

    Maybe you can get articles explaining such things to him

    Sorry its making you nuts

    Goodluck
  • price805
    price805 Posts: 20
    My husband is really supportive of me getting healthy, but not so much for himself.

    We just purchase two loaves of bread one that's for him and one that's for me. We do the same with milk. I am lactose intolerant so I have to watch the dairy. I can eat cheese in moderation but anything else is like automatic stomach/intestinal pain. I'll spare you the nasty details. This means I buy two milks half a gallon of 2% for him and half a gallon of soy for me. I get annoyed that I have to do all that double shopping because to be honest it gets expensive. As for the healthy stuff, I just don't tell him when I use turkey instead of ground beef in the spaghetti or the chili or when I find a recipe that's healthy. I keep things in the house for him that I won't eat like Oreo's which have the same effect as dairy. Fortunately, he doesn't whine or complain too much because he knows I'll stop cooking for him altogether.

    So I understand and then again I don't.
  • skinnyjess00
    skinnyjess00 Posts: 50 Member
    I think you just gave an exact description of my husband:laugh:

    I love him, but like you, I'm frustrated!
  • tinasullens
    tinasullens Posts: 203 Member
    Don't take this the wrong way but you know how he was when you married him. He is not going to change with you Nagging him. It will just get both of you mad. If you eat healthy and stay in shape that might turn a switch and maybe he will change. Lead by example you can't force stuff on people even if it is for their own good. I know you wouldn't like someone to force something on you.

    I totally agree. He won't change unless or until he's ready...or until something happens to him where he HAS to change. Just do your thing and let him do his. I'm very blessed in the fact that my husband is on this journey with me. We workout together and eat healthy meals together.

    Lisa, You're still welcome to vent though. It does help to get the frustration out. Men usually do have a higher metabolism than women strictly due to the fact that they have more muscle mass. He can brag all he wants that he can eat whatever he wants...bt it's short term. If he doesn't start doing some strength training at least, he will lose muscle mass and his metabolism will slow down and all that unhealthy eating will catch up to him. And thin definitely does NOT mean healthy!!! But hopefully he'll come around soon!
  • blondie76
    blondie76 Posts: 552 Member
    my hubby was the other way

    when I started to eat healthy, he wouldnt, till he went to doctor, fast metabolism is nothing if you have high cholestral and what ever else!

    Now he eats healthy, even reads more labels then I do!

    hmmm, you should send him in for a check up

    lol
  • mommyhof3
    mommyhof3 Posts: 551 Member
    Mine has good supportive days and then days like a couple of nights ago when he walked in from working late with A & W. I said "I can't believe you are eating that in front of me" He then proceeded to leave the room and finish. Then came back. Mine also will sit and watch TV and frown at me when i ask him to go play tennis or go for a walk. I wish he would be more active with me :(
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
    My boyfriend is that way to some extent....he always gets fatty foods and stuff and is built, but I kind of work around what he eats...for example he wanted pizza the other day and I said well fine you get pizza and grab me a box of lean pockets....if we eat out he'll make sure he takes me somewhere that I can get something healthy and he can get whatever he wants. It's nice, but then on the weekends he doesnt get why I don't guzzle beer like I used to lol
  • SexyIsPainful
    SexyIsPainful Posts: 42 Member
    You have describe my husband exactly! I usually make sure he doesnt see the packaging - I throw it away immediately. I cant afford to keep being separate foods......
  • dinosgirl
    dinosgirl Posts: 157 Member
    I think there are just people in general out there who, when they know what they should be doing, they automatically go and do the opposite - kind of just to prove "I don't have to so I'm not gonna listen to you."

    I agree that you knew this was how he was when you married him - and no, YOU can't change him. But you can learn to accept him. Don't waste your time or breath trying to "tell" him what he needs to do (and no matter how nicely you put it, he'll probably see it as nagging, unfortunately). And yes - it IS frustrating. Believe me I know. But just come here to vent. Keep on making healthy changes for you and, eventually, he will see how what you are doing is working for you and making you a happier, healther person. That could be a wakeup call for him and maybe be the reason HE DECIDES to make the changes as well. the key is letting HIM make the decision.

    DH and I have been together for 15 years (half our lives!) - married for 7 1/2. I am never one to tell him something more than once - I shouldn't have to. We may sometimes think our hubbies/significant others aren't listening but they really are. And yes, it can be frustrating waiting around for him to come around and realize what I am saying/asking but, you know what, since the decision is his, he's less likely to complain or act all put out. It makes us both happier in the long run. And - silly bonus for me - my husband actually goes around telling people his wife NEVER nags him. Hahaha!!!

    Good luck - keep trying new healthy recipes even if only for yourself.
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    You can't change others if they are unwilling. Keep doing what you are doing. Do it for yourself. Don't let differing diets be a distraction to your marriage.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    There are 5 people living in my house. Wife and I, D-in-law, Son and Grandson.

    Grandson is 5 months old, mostly a similac guy, lots of home-ground babyfood. He's doing great. He loves sweet potatoes and strawberries and bananas. And peas.

    Daughter in law is a joy, easygoing, eats well, exercises and takes care of herself.

    Wife and I are doing our thing, we've lost 135 lbs in the last 16 months and we're doing super. Healthy eating is just a habit for us now.

    Son uses his mouth for a garbage can, won't eat half the stuff I cook, and mutters a lot. He won't complain, 'cause he knows we'll just tell him to carry his fat *kitten* to Walmart and buy whatever he wants,,, but he does mutter. :laugh: We do keep hotdogs and sliced ham/cheese/white bread in the house for him. It's cheap, doesn't take up much space, and he's gotta eat something. Other night I made some nice chicken breast & cabbage, sauteed in some free italian dressing (try it, it rocks). So we ate that, and he made a big ham & cheese hoagie. Ok, WFE...

    It is what it is,,, we can't influence what others do, we can only influence how we react to it. So react well, or don't react at all. :bigsmile:
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    LOL is it a man thing? My husband doesn't complain when I cook because it's either eat what I make or make it yourself. My son and husband both would eat pizza or burgers at every single meal. I figure that if I do the shopping they get what I buy. If hubby and son want to go with me, they can get what they want. :)
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    My hubs is somewhat the same...he could live off of snackie cakes and soda if I let him. I knew this going into the marriage (we've been married for 6 years, and 10 years of togetherness total). I'm a vegetarian...that alone makes shopping and cooking more difficult than the average household. I prepare my own meals and for the most part my hubs eats the same things that I do. I buy him meats and cheeses so he can make a sandwich if he doesn't like what I've made. Add in a 6 year old and then we really have some problems (at least she eats what I make)...but like her father she'll eat the junk if it's in the house. I do not buy any junk....it's my hubby that buys it (thanks be to God that he keeps most of it in his gaming room and not in the kitchen). I am greatful that he doesn't nag me about being a veg and I don't nag him (often, hehe) about his horrid eating habits. I know that one day they will catch up to him and then he'll start going to the gym with me and start eating better. It's not my place to pick on him about it...although I will bring it up about once a month (just as a reminder). I do understand where you're coming from, you should nudge him into going to the doctor for a yearly checkup (that might open his eyes).
  • fiendiish
    fiendiish Posts: 186
    Omg girl...are you sure you aren't married to my husband too? LOL! I must say, he's gotten better about it lately. He doesn't complain anymore when he realizes that he ate something healthy and LIKED it. He still gripes about things like butter (I buy CBINB and he wants Country Crock), milk, and mayo. Sometimes, he won't even TRY something before he's already decides he doesn't like it. BUT, in the last 3 years...I have managed to turn him onto Splenda, Whole Wheat pasta, turkey bacon, chicken (he's really weird about chicken..kinda scared of it) and different vegetables (seriously, all he would eat is broccoli). I've even gotten him to start eating fruit lately.

    I say let the dude complain. Keep buying the things you want and reminding yourself that whether he complains or not, you're doing him a favor. :)
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    My husband is very supportive but I have still had to find some sort of balance when buying groceries. He is willing to eat whatever I make but I don't want him to give up all his favourite foods for me. So I make meals that are both healthy and taste good and don't make you feel like you are missing out. He really likes my salads so that helps. I also buy him treats but I try to buy the ones that I know I don't particularly like so I won't be tempted.

    Do you think maybe your husband is complaining for the sake of complaining? I mean maybe he thinks guys are suppose to complain when their wives feed them really healthy meals:laugh: The other possibility is maybe he is a bit jealous of your progress or is feeling insecure? I'm not saying this is the case, I obviously don't know him. I just thought it was worth mentioning. Sometimes guys show their insecurity in unusual ways.
  • xecila
    xecila Posts: 99
    My hubby is pretty similar. I have to buy two loafs of bread, too! :tongue: If there's even a spec of vegetables on his food he'll pick it off. Although, I may finally be starting to turn him to my side. I made a chicken sandwich yesterday on whole wheat bread with lettuce and tomato. He looks over as I'm eating, and just stares at my sandwich. I held it out to him and asked if he wanted a bite. He took one, lettuce and all (and he loathes tomatoes) and actually liked it. Then proceeded to text his friend that OH MY GOSH HE JUST WILLINGLY ATE VEGETABLES. Silly men.

    Edit: Oh, and his friends reply to the text? "Hell has finally frozen over." :laugh:
  • deeann1459
    deeann1459 Posts: 116
    Yep... except he is overweight and it is taking a toll on his health. I look healthy as a horse on paper... I just happen to be a Clydesdale =)
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    I do all the cooking. I like to cook. I will make whatever anyone in the house asks for and especially enjoy when they ask for something I have never made before. I still eat healthy for myself and I think the cooking for everyone else, even when it's something I can't have, satisifies some of the cravings.

    I'm making a 5 course meal for my daughter and three of her friends on Friday for Prom. They requested it and even created the menu.
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