Advice for my Father

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musiqueange
musiqueange Posts: 64 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Hello!

My dad is 60 years old and is going in for a prostate biopsy in a couple weeks because his doctor is concerned it could be cancerous. He is obese (not sure how much he weighs, to be honest) and between 5' 8" and 5' 10", I'd say.

I am asking for advice regarding his diet. He eats poorly and is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He is very stubborn and refuses to eat vegetables. My mom and I can get him to even try them. I am wondering if anyone had any suggestions for how we could even begin to persuade him to try vegetables. I found this link about healthy eating for those with prostate cancer (http://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/is-there-prostate-cancer-diet) so I've read that.

Basically, we're dealing with a troublesome 5 year old who is hard to trick. Advice appreciated.

Replies

  • gem6885
    gem6885 Posts: 15
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    I'll tell you what...I wish I could have given my father advice he would have taken. Unfortunately, at that age they are set in their ways. My father had a health scare 2 years ago - woke up with blood pouring from his nose, eyes and mouth. He finally made some changes, found out he had an enlarged heart from his horrible diet. He lost 100 pounds on his own - but it took the health scare to kick him into gear.

    After losing the weight, the doctors said his heart was healthy and he could go for bariatric surgery. He dropped dead the next day from a massive heart attack, aged 57. I have no advice to give you, but maybe you could pass along this story. Its real life and what we eat has serious.consequences.
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 905 Member
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    Sounds like what we have going with a family member (only ours is diabetic and severely overweight). Only certain veggies, and his meat has to be made a certain way.

    Does your dad like pasta? Suggest blending some veggies into the sauce if they aren't included already (just chop them up into tiny pieces).
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
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    old guys are stubborn. My dad is the same way. Something happened to him recently that got him to start taking vitamins he desparately needs. I think it was a doctor telling him the alternative - which may have been expensive perscriptions.
    My dad is ALL ABOUT money. I guess it just depends on what motivates the guy.

    Perhaps getting the doctors to tell him will persude him. If they actually explain the differences it could make.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
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    No, a 60 year old man is going to do what he wants to do. Just love him and accept it.
  • florymonde
    florymonde Posts: 261 Member
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    He's an adult and has to make his own choices. I think the best way to handle it is to speak from the heart and let him know how much you love him and are worried about him. You can ask him what you can do to help, but without his buy-in, it's not going to happen. I wouldn't waste time and money even preparing nice veggie dishes unless he will at least agree to try them.
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
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    Healthy living including diet and weight management is beneficial in all cancers, the vast majority have some lifestyle component.

    If you can't persuade him and can't trick him you don't really have many options left. Will he see a dietician or health professional experienced in motivational interviewing? Doesn't he like any meals that contain fruit or vegetables - fruit salad with cream, curry, Asian stir fry (peanut coconut sauce), tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, meat or tomato pasta sauce, baked beans, smoothies? Who grocery shops and cooks?

    You might look out books like these in the library, not sure how you'd get on with them as a layman. They are on MI - basically a method of asking open questions so that the 'patient/ client' persuades themselves to change. There are newer, more expensive editions of both but thought you might like to read the reviews
    http://www.amazon.com/Health-Behavior-Change-Guide-Practitioners/dp/0443058504/ref=sr_1_5
    http://www.amazon.com/Motivational-Interviewing-Health-Care-Applications/dp/1593856121/ref=sr_1_3
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
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    I throw a little spinach into fruit smoothies for my three year old's sake... I have a vitamix blender and it turns frozen fruit into smoothies that are almost sherbet in consistency... For the dad, my own dad it took diabetes for him to start focusing on his weight. If he's a meat and potatoes guy does he like mushrooms... well known for anti-cancer properties... Also is he a Mexican food fan? Lots of mexican food dishes can be made into lower cal wonders that help you lose weight. Feel free to add me and you can look at my food diary for ideas that have helped to transform a brown and white diet into a rainbow of good nutrients... At the end of the day though if it isn't something he wants to do it will never happen.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Hi, my grandpa just went in last week to have his prostate removed after they found it was cancerous. He has diabetes and then was told he had to have his surgery post-poned due to an atrial flutter. I know he couldn't eat prior to the surgery but I don't think he had any specific dietary restrictions/needs. But then again, this may be because he already has dietary needs due to the diabetes.


    Just wanted to say wishing him and you the best of luck! :flowerforyou:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Cry
  • musiqueange
    musiqueange Posts: 64 Member
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    Thank you all for the support and suggestions (except for crying; done that...) I really like the idea of adding some veggies to our pasta sauces and I'll ask him how he feels about smoothies.

    Rereading what I wrote originally, I neglected to say what he has been doing to be healthier (because he does know he has to become more active/eat better). He works out every day for at least 45 minutes and I believe he does leg lifts, uses the treadmill and recumbent elliptical. He is also eating much smaller portions with only one helping and does not overindulge. So, in that regard he is being much better. It's just what he doesn't eat that is a problem (and burgers. ;P)
  • musiqueange
    musiqueange Posts: 64 Member
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    Will he see a dietician or health professional experienced in motivational interviewing? Doesn't he like any meals that contain fruit or vegetables - fruit salad with cream, curry, Asian stir fry (peanut coconut sauce), tuna and sweetcorn sandwich, meat or tomato pasta sauce, baked beans, smoothies? Who grocery shops and cooks?

    I don't know if he would listen to a dietitian unless they gave him an ultimatum or something similar.

    He is the cook and shopper in our family and always has been but we're in the process of changing what we eat. My mom is pre-diabetic now and I have PCOS so we're both trying to eat less white foods & simple carbs and eat smaller portions. I think that because I have been so gung-ho about this website for the past three months that both of my parents are making an effort to be better. It's a good thing. :)
  • jameshodge594
    jameshodge594 Posts: 3
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    It can be very frustrating but just hang in there. Is he willing to take supplements like Super Beta Prostate Supplement? That might be a start and explain to him that his body needs fruits and vegetables to function properly so if he loves life, he should eat them. http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/super-beta-prostate-supplement-reviews
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
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    Ignore.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    it's up to him.
    if he would prefer 10 months of chips to 10 years of salad then that's his choice to make.

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