Sorry Sorry Sorry

personally i agree with your comment. it was the truth, sometimes the truth hurts.

Girl, let it go. I thought the exact same thing when I read it too, I just didn't comment on it. I can see that you meant it out of concern so just let it go. I can't imagine regardless of how big I was, eating that many calories for breakfast daily.

I don't agree with what you said, but I don't think you should exclude yourself from giving advice because of one post.

Don't concern yourself about it. I think you did well. It was not put offensively. I think you did a good job. I also posted there that I support what you had said. Some people are a little too sensitive and take it the wrong way. Maybe you did a good thing and helped someone (even if not her).

You know, the bigger picture here may just be Echaos feelings! Did anyone bother to see that she did not offer anything to that thread, beyond her original question and a comment added about coffee, shortly after she began the thread. Beyond that, she has now made her diary private! (My diary was originally open for all to see until about two weeks into joining MFP there was someone who was looking into peoples diaries and judging on the amount of calories some were eating in a day. Mine went private right away.) I would venture a guess that Echaos joined this sight for much the same reasons as all of us! For the support system and to actually be accountable for the amount of calories that she consumes every day. While everyone is entitled to their opinion(s) maybe it might have been more beneficial to offer it privately? I hope she (echaos) has not gotten discouraged after that thread and feels like she is doing something wrong when in deed just by joining MFP she has taken a step in a life journey that we all began once. I offer echaos my support and will put out there that if you ever would like a buddy to bounce things off of, I am there. While I am certainly no professional and am just a person that is trying to change her life, for the better, finally, I do know that support can go a long, long way. I can promise that I will never pass judgement just as I would hope that no one would ever take it upon themselves to do to me. Echaos, congratulations on taking the first step to changing your life.

Don't get worked up about it. Your initial comment was fine (my reaction was similar), but you made a mistake defending it. When people here criticise you in this sort of side way, just either take it as constructive criticism or ignore it. No need for further action.

I seen that and thought..OK she works out a lot.. then I read your post.. which was out of complete concern and I looked at her food.. IDK what half of the stuff is.. but obvioulsy their culture is much differnt than ours.. If were not free to show concern why bother posting.. I think you were fine... being concerned.. and don't stop giving input becasue some one didnt like it:bigsmile:

Don't let it stop you from posting and finding support here...I agree with what you said as well. Unless you're an olympic athlete, that is just too much.

I just re-read the whole thread and I am at the point whereI honestly don't even want to look at the forums anymore. I made one comment and then there were 50 attacks to me on what I said.

i don't think anyone attacked you. we were all concerned about how your concern was going to be taken by the woman you publically questioned. most of the posts are quite polite and just point out how you mishandled your concern.

you don't really have room to get pissed if someone writes about your post.

it's funny to see you write this. people commenting on YOUR post has obviously gotten YOU worked up. you keep adding fuel to a fire that would just die out if you'd let it.
dawn

Below is the original post that you made on that thread:



"I just looked at your diary. Your daily goal is 3,220 calories!!! :noway: That seems extremely HIGH and I do not think you are going to see weight loss or a change in your body if you are consuming that many calories and especially breakfasts at 700-1100 calories :noway:

I write this out of concern for you and your health. "

When I read your post, it sounded judgemental to me... The exclamations and smiley that you chose say to me, "HOLY COW- YOU EAT A LOT, INCONCEIVABLE". Then you go on to say that you don't think that she can lose weight doing what she's doing.... and again with the "inconceivable" smiley.

I disagree with what you wrote because it seems like you didn't look for all the factors... the picture of her shows that she's quite overweight (so she needs more calories), her profile states that she's doing this so that she can "live" (in other words, she's very overweight), and she has posted her weight on other threads. Do I think that you meant to be offensive? No, absolutely not... I sincerely think that for you, it was inconceivable that someone would need to eat that much food. It wasn't just your response either, it was those after that continued to point out that her ticker says that she hasn't lost weight, they couldn't imagine eating that much... those things are hurtful! REALLY hurtful... and you can take a hard edge all you want and say that people shouldn't be so sensitive... but the fact is that most of us who are overweight ARE sensitive about our weight.

All that being said, I don't think that you should refrain from sharing advice and concern - but maybe that you should strive to be a little more sensitive about how what you say would make someone else feel. And ummm.... I've been guilty of posting something off the cuff on these boards that was not taken well. We all have those moments. Just move on and be more careful.

Chandy is wonderful and is really doing great. Like I said on the other post... she's an inspiration to me daily!

It's been dropped and now you just drew even more attention to yourself?

Looking for attention perhaps? Either way...no need to post an entire new topic on the matter. Leave it be or post that you're sorry there.

Gah.

I found this by accident.. so since that is obviously about the post allykat8 wrote to my answer to the said topic i maybe should say something too.

When i read your first comment, allykat8, i indeed felt like "i had enough people telling me what to do in my life, i finally found my way that WORKS for me and there is someone not knowing who i am, what i do and judges me and tells me again what works for HER which must not work for me" Well as said i felt like that. Though i am a person who might be up to 180 in a second, i also come down as fast as that.

I have read all other comments and i honestly appreciated that people stood up for me and i felt the support, because indeed you do not know the whole story, but i think besides me nobody does. Everyone knows only a little part of it. You don't know why the ticker doesn't move (i added it now to my profile yes there IS a reason behind it *G* and it is not that i don't lose weight), you don't know how many calories i need since every body is different, you don't know if what i do worked already or not and many other things. But that is ok you can't know everything.

I worked very hard to be able to be that open and honest with my weight problems like i am today and yes it did hurt me to read it at first (and not because 'the truth hurts' that saying does not apply everywhere btw. sonjavon just stated some reasons why - good work on looking into my head there ) but I am not a person for being angry at others for a long time or not to talk to someone because some time that person pinced a nerve.

As you *might* have seen at my answers in the thread itself i was not angry or attacked you or said 'bugger off let me in peace' or anything like that. I answerd in a normal matter and also explained why it seems i did not lose weight. I don't think you MEANT it offensive, judging or anything else, the prob with written words are that there is no mimik no body language no nuances in the sounds of words that are important to understand how things are meant.

The same way i thank everyone for defending me i thank you for giving your opinion - no matter if asked for or not.

Imho it is something we all can learn of for the future, not taking it as a reason not to write anymore *grins* For me the matter is closed (has been long until i saw this post and felt i had to answer to it)

Have a good day

I found this by accident.. so since that is obviously about the post allykat8 wrote to my answer to the said topic i maybe should say something too.

When i read your first comment, allykat8, i indeed felt like "i had enough people telling me what to do in my life, i finally found my way that WORKS for me and there is someone not knowing who i am, what i do and judges me and tells me again what works for HER which must not work for me" Well as said i felt like that. Though i am a person who might be up to 180 in a second, i also come down as fast as that.

I have read all other comments and i honestly appreciated that people stood up for me and i felt the support, because indeed you do not know the whole story, but i think besides me nobody does. Everyone knows only a little part of it. You don't know why the ticker doesn't move (i added it now to my profile yes there IS a reason behind it *G* and it is not that i don't lose weight), you don't know how many calories i need since every body is different, you don't know if what i do worked already or not and many other things. But that is ok you can't know everything.

I worked very hard to be able to be that open and honest with my weight problems like i am today and yes it did hurt me to read it at first (and not because 'the truth hurts' that saying does not apply everywhere btw. sonjavon just stated some reasons why - good work on looking into my head there ) but I am not a person for being angry at others for a long time or not to talk to someone because some time that person pinced a nerve.

As you *might* have seen at my answers in the thread itself i was not angry or attacked you or said 'bugger off let me in peace' or anything like that. I answerd in a normal matter and also explained why it seems i did not lose weight. I don't think you MEANT it offensive, judging or anything else, the prob with written words are that there is no mimik no body language no nuances in the sounds of words that are important to understand how things are meant.

The same way i thank everyone for defending me i thank you for giving your opinion - no matter if asked for or not.

Imho it is something we all can learn of for the future, not taking it as a reason not to write anymore *grins* For me the matter is closed (has been long until i saw this post and felt i had to answer to it)

Have a good day

That was the very definition of gracious. The end.