Appropriate?

BorgieMN
BorgieMN Posts: 116 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I used to weigh 456 pounds, now 205. I went to the gym this morning and saw a guy and his girl there. he is just a big as I was if not bigger and she is probably pushing 300.

I thought about going up to them and introducing myself, tell them its good to see they are taking that step, and tell them I used to be just as big and show them that it is possible.

Would that be appropriate or should i just go about my business and keep my mouth shut?

Dave
www.borgiesjourney.com

Replies

  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    I would only approach the guy, not the girl. Offer him a spot, men see eye to eat under the iron.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I think if you did that in a way that was respectful of that person and worked your history into the conversation, without it being a "look at me" thing, then I think it would be great.

    Honestly, I'm one of those guys that will walk right up to someone at the gym, smile, stick out my hand and introduce myself. There are plenty of d-bags that will pull back but that's their issue. Most people smile, stick their hands, out introduce themselves and then enjoy a brief conversation. Do I do this while I'm working out? No. Do I do this while they're working out? No. And, no I also don't pick out the hot chick as I'm married and don't want to accidentally give the wrong impression. I've met some great people that way, gotten interview offers, heard about wives struggling with cancer, guys fighting their way back from some illness, etc.
  • ssflbelle2012
    ssflbelle2012 Posts: 322 Member
    HI Dave If this was the first time you saw them at the gym, I might wait a week to see if they are indeed members of are they just doing a trial test of the gym. I know that I would love for someone to come over to see how I am doing with the equipment and reassure me that the gym is the right place for me. I think they would be inspired by your pictures and sharing you story and being a gym buddy,
  • BorgieMN
    BorgieMN Posts: 116 Member
    I would only approach the guy, not the girl. Offer him a spot, men see eye to eat under the iron.

    They were together on the treadmill, and then the bike, didn't really seperate, so I would have to approach both.

    Being at the point they are, my heart just breaks, and I think seeing that someone has done it would help out.
  • HealthylivingTIG
    HealthylivingTIG Posts: 174 Member
    I think you can offer enouragement and advice. Be very selective with your words as it is a VERY sensitive subject for some. You could be the reason they continue with their journey and end up losing tons of weight. If your heart is set on saying something and helping, I say do it. Good luck.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Your heart is in the right place.
    They'll either be open to what you have to offer...or not.

    Give it as shot. You might make a positive impact.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Maybe not immediately. At first, say hello. Be sure to acknowledge them and offer some encouraging words every time you see them at the gym. Then, in a couple of weeks, strike up a conversation. Then, you can tell them your story and you will have built up enough rapport that they will be receiving of it.

    It's so kind of you to want to help them. :flowerforyou:
  • RunningOnPurple
    RunningOnPurple Posts: 119 Member
    Maybe not immediately. At first, say hello. Be sure to acknowledge them and offer some encouraging words every time you see them at the gym. Then, in a couple of weeks, strike up a conversation. Then, you can tell them your story and you will have built up enough rapport that they will be receiving of it.

    It's so kind of you to want to help them. :flowerforyou:

    This is exactly what I was thinking.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Your heart is in the right place.
    They'll either be open to what you have to offer...or not.

    Give it as shot. You might make a positive impact.


    ^^^^ this wins it all
  • Barbell_Jules
    Barbell_Jules Posts: 358 Member
    Your heart is in the right place.
    They'll either be open to what you have to offer...or not.

    Give it as shot. You might make a positive impact.
    Yes, exactly this!!! =)
  • psnboots
    psnboots Posts: 2
    Put yourself back in their shoes & think about how you would've accepted (or not) being approached & how. :)
  • aadutton
    aadutton Posts: 87
    this is really tough. i think you would need to think carefully about what you say and how you say it. "i was as big as you once" probably wouldn't get you any points with most people. i agree approaching the guy alone would probably be best, but it sounds like that's not possible. i don't know...some people are just very, very sensitive about discussing it, unfortunately i think it's probably 50/50 on whether it's received positively or negatively. i agree your heart is in the right place, but with the internet and countless books on the subject, people can find the "success stories" on their own terms, if that helps motivate them. i think pushing it on someone is a risky proposition.
  • weird_me2
    weird_me2 Posts: 716 Member

    I thought about going up to them and introducing myself, tell them its good to see they are taking that step, and tell them I used to be just as big and show them that it is possible.

    Just offer another perspective--I would find that rude and condescending. I also hate that "hey fat girl" poem or whatever it is that's going around and I hate the posts that I see where people are talking about seeing a new heavy person that has just joined the gym and how they think "good for them for doing something to make themselves better." This is because I have lost nearly 50 pounds in the last 11 months and am actually in pretty decent cardiovascular shape and have good endurance, I just exercised at home and did a lot of walking outdoors. I just joined my local gym so I'm sure some people are thinking "good for the fat girl trying to get healthy" when I may actually be have more physical endurance than they do.

    I say definitely say hi and welcome. Then, if they are receptive to getting to know you, reveal your information at a later time if it's relevant. Hey, maybe the guy used to weigh 600 lbs and the girl used to weigh 400 lbs, you never know their story.
  • imfivebyfive
    imfivebyfive Posts: 104
    I don't think it's a good idea. Some people just want to be left alone when they are working out.
  • Erica_theRedhead
    Erica_theRedhead Posts: 724 Member
    I wouldn't go up and offer your services out right, but maybe just introduce yourself and see if they are receptive to meeting people at the gym. Maybe talk to the manager or a trainer at the gym in charge of new clients. Maybe they know the couples' story and could take the step to introduce you to them? Kind of mentor program..?
  • Annieapple12
    Annieapple12 Posts: 122 Member
    Maybe say hello if you see them again but I think it;s a bit rude to go up to a stranger and say "I used to be as fat as you and look how amazingly well I have done. With hard work and dedication you too can be as great as me."

    Maybe if you strike up a friendship you could say it after a few months but it seems a bit much for the first time you speak to someone.

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