FOR THOSE WHO HATE BEING FAT AND ARE ANGRY ALL THE TIME- a p

vaimaru · April 2010

hi everyone my name is Peyton, oh man do i hear you guys loud and clear as i read these posts im thinking to myself OMG that girl is just like me, im 21, 5'6'' and weigh 185 -190.

and my scale is evil.... :devil: so i've created a forum for those who like to vent out their problems about everyday life and just need someone to talk to and want advice and would like to help each other out getting through a difficult change. so here i go:

i look at myself everyday in the mirror and feel like a complete failure. i signed up for MFP a few days ago and i started to eat healthier - okay, then tonight my mom made beef ravioli..... yea... i totally gorged i couldnt help it. man i always do this, i keep trying to lose weight but then find myself five pounds heavier how the **** is that possible? i used to weigh close to 205 so i started losing weight for a bit but then i stopped working and then stopped exercising and then my dad got into an accident so people came over with food- total food fest 2010. but i got a treadmill at the of end of jan and i lost about.... nothing, zero, zip, nadda! and i heard that something like 80 percent of weight loss is what u eat 80 percent!!!!!!!!!! thats nuts

my friends dont' understand they're all skinny *****es lol yes i watched phat gurlz lol. oh man i honestly somedays i feel so disgusted with myself and how big i've gotten,i've always been fat my entire life but just in the past fews years i've blown up like a balloon. i stopped going to religious and social functions cus in my culture people dont know when to shut up which translates into: "well you've put on a few pounds huh?" , or this seems to be their favorite "oh wow your really big now!"- great thanks for the update not like i don't own a mirror jack *kitten*! my sister lost so much weight in the past few years and im so jealous of her although she did gain some of it back - is it sad that i'm happy she gained some of the weight back, omg im soo bitter aren't i? i take joy knowing my sister gained some of her weight back- how pathetic am i? but she still looks better than me so i still envy that.

it shouldnt be like this. i keep telling my mom that i want to lose weight but she stills ends up buying/making junk unhealthy food like pasta, or cake. i dont feel like i have a support system and my dad owns a restaurant and comes home every week and brings back junk food too. everyday people remind me how fat i am, how i need to lose weight my parents included yet they enable my food addiction they are so ****in hypocritical. if they taught me how to eat right from when i was a child and didnt feed me junk when i was a kid i wouldnt have ended up like this. okay so i harbor some resentment to them but doesn't every fat chick who has a non-supportive, discouraging mother/father? it's like people dont believe i can lose weight and so what happens i prove them right.

i miss socializing with people and hanging out with my friends but i cant even hang out with them cus well they're all skinny! it sucks it really does, i feel so disgusted with the way i look and i want to change so thats why im here, i want to start feeling better about myself, to live longer, to be healthier, to look fabulous in overpriced clothes and one day hope to not be obese at my wedding to a mystery man i will probably never have if i weigh like a cow! i know i know beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty is only skin deep, and its what's inside thats counts. is anyone else sick of hearing those cliche phrases? i for one am!

i need a hobby an outlet of some sort to keep my hands busy while i try to lose weight so im not constantly thinking about food. im gonna start to learn how to draw/sketch i bought a sketching booklet that teaches u how to draw i bought it like two years ago and havent opened it, what? i procrastinate lol, and keeping a daily journal about my weight lose success and struggles and what not, to keep me on track and focused. i plan on taking photography i was always interested in that but could never take it up cus its so expensive i mean the camera alone damn i mean damn they are overly priced... okay so i guess i wont start the photography thing now, but the journal writing i can start, and the sketching and i can always just find other activities to fill my days.

so here are my goals:

-to weigh 130-135
- do exercise at least walking every day for 60 minutes no excuses but its hard without a chubby buddy yes i watch kristie alley also lol
- eat healthy everyday no excuses
- live a better life
- start a vegetarian diet cus i just a saw a meat documentary and well it turned me off to meat plus its healthier for you

my current weight is 190 i need to lose 50-60 pounds

Peyton

Bleux · April 2010

hi everyone my name is Peyton, oh man do i hear you guys loud and clear as i read these posts im thinking to myself OMG that my sister lost so much weight in the past few years and im so jealous of her although she did gain some of it back - is it sad that i'm happy she gained some of the weight back, omg im soo bitter aren't i? i take joy knowing my sister gained some of her weight back- how pathetic am i? but she still looks better than me so i still envy that.

I TOTALLY get this. I don't have a lot to lose, which makes it even harder! I don't get to see results as quick, or at all for that matter as someone who is trying to loose 50+ lbs. I get really frustrated when I weigh in week after week and see a .1 lbs change on the scale. Then I read through MFP friends and see that they are losing week after week. I am happy for them... really I am... really........ but it is hard to see that they are having success and I am not going anywhere. I don't have anyone close to me that is trying to lose weight either... which is why I do like MFP. My brother, two years older than me, has always been skinny, and is now not just that but muscular too as he has been climbing and doing martial arts for the last 5 or so years. The jerk complains about not being able to gain weight... yes I love him... I do... really :-).

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Try talking to your parents again. Try to sit them down and be like look, I am really trying to live a healthier lifestyle and could really use your support in it. Do you have the type of relationship with your sister that you could enlist her help? I mean, if she did it, then she might be a good one to have on your side. She has been through it and can help get you over the humps and bumps along the way. If not, remember you have your MFP family to help you. But more is never bad. Good luck to you.

tabika05 · April 2010

Hey Peyton!

I am right there with you! I also have a beautiful sister--she looks like a barbie doll with a perfect husband, dog, job, new car, nice house, etc. Then....there's me!

On Easter my sister ate like a bunny...I ate like godzilla. She promptly reminded me that I was fat and didn't look healthy. Thanks!

Trying to reach personal goals all by yourself with no daily support system is sooo extremely difficult. Trust me, I know. I'm from S.F. and have been living in a small town for two years so I am dealing with economic struggles, horrible rumors spread by my own boss/managers because they are bored, interviewing weekly for new jobs, moving, saving money for a new life, arguing with my beautiful sister and the rest of my family that thinks she is perfect, then there's boy and friend problems and we won't even go there!

What I try to do to keep myself going is get up in the morning and immediately write down why I want to change and who I want to be. Then, every day, I FORCE --sounds drastic but is so necessary--myself to accomplish once thing on my list. That could be an easy walk, ignoring the millions of candy bars at work, actually signing on to myfitnesspal, etc.

Just remember you are definately not alone. Keep your chin up and prove to YOURSELF--no one else--that you are a strong, amazing person!

XOXOXO

MattySparky · April 2010

This is a great place for support! We've all been at the point where we are disgusted with the person in the mirror, that's for sure. Weather because of how we look or how we feel or even both. At some point or another though, the successful people on here have all realized a very important fact. It's that no one, not one single other person, is going to make the change but us. I feel for you, I really do, but no one is doing you any favours if we all sit here and feel sorry for each other all the time. You took a big step by joining MFP that's for sure. Now it's time to build on that. You have a treadmill... that is awesome. I lost most if not all of my excess weight working hard on the treadmill. You need to use the tools you have right now. The other thing that stands out for me in this thread is how you seem to be letting others feed you. You're not a fish, you're not a pet dog or a cat. You're a young adult human being. This means that from this day forward you need to start taking responsibility for your own healthy eating. If what is being prepared at home isn't healthy it's time to be a big girl and cook for yourself. You cant blame your eating habits simply on what someone has provided, that's an easy way out. Look where it's gotten you so far! This is a huge step for some people but it's a fact that you're going to have to face. No one is going to do this for you, you have to make your own choices and make the right ones. Im assuming that you used your treadmill like you said and the reason for no weightloss was probably your bad eating like alot of us. Mine wasn't so much diet as lack of exercise. We all have our demons to work out so you're not alone. I hope you aren't taking this the wrong way but as I said no one is doing you any favors if we all just sit around and feel sorry for each other, that's why Im trying to give encouraging advice.

I hope you make the choice to take control of your own eating and health. It will be the best thing you ever did FOR YOURSELF.

Good luck!

amy1612 · April 2010

Take control of your life and stop handing the reigns over to ravioli and cake...theyre just foods. You can do anything you want, but being thin wont stop you from being angry, just like it wont make you happy. You have start changing from the inside aswell... you have to stop blaming your parents and instead ask them to support you, whilst realising that youre going to have to support your self. You can do it!
I hope Im not coming across as mean, thats not my intention, its just that sometimes its easy to say "this is stopping me" when really its just stopping yourself.x

vaimaru · April 2010

awww these posts are making me all teary lol

to: Bleux

no matter how many times i tell my parents they dont seem to understand or hear me at all so i stopped trying to tell them that i wanted to lose weight, and as for my sister we never used to be close and in fact we went years without talking at one point which is not easy to do when u live in the same house but we recently started talking again around october and we started to get closer but i dunno i have asked for her help but she doesnt seem to be a vry good chubby buddy

so i have to find another way to lose the weight on my own.

to: tabika05: omg why would u boss spread rumors about u? i think u can sue him or her for like defamation of character or something lol. omg thats so mean! and i like ur list idea i think i might keep one by my bed so its the first thing i do when i wake up. oh yea i hear u about boys... or lack there of and friends omg i never realize how inconsiderate, selfish and what big users they were until recently.

thanks for the luck guys and i hope u guys are getting through your struggles, maybe we can help each other out on how to solve a problem we cant handle or cant resolve!

lick25 · April 2010

A little thing that someone very close to me said one day that hit home very hard:

Just because I put it in front of you doesn't mean you have to put it in your mouth so don't blame me for you putting on weight.

It made perfect sense even though it hurt at the time. Just because your parents don't really help, doesn't mean you can't do it. You just have to get your mind set right and learn to be strong and say no. It does happen if you're serious about losing weight. I used to be really bad about turning down things sweet or nice but bad!! But now I can easily say no because I know how important it is for "ME" to lose weight. I'm doing it for me and not anybody else.

I hope this gives you a little inspiration :-)

P.S. A good way to learn to control yourself is to make sure you always leave something on your plate. Even if it's only 1 mouthful. You learn to know when you're full and put your knife and fork down. You don't have to clear your plate!!! It takes 20 mins to realise your full so if you keep eating until you think you're full, then you have another 20 mins worth of food you've eaten to still go down.

Good Luck xxx

vaimaru · April 2010

to: MattySparky and amy1612

no no im not offended i dont get offended that easily, its just when you've been told your entire life u need to lose weight or that ur very fat it gets to u, i mean one or two comments i can handle but over a life time of being constantly reminded since i was i dunno like 8 i mean it wares you down. its not something i can just get over and stop being angry in general its gonna take time. so im using MFP to vent, on here so that i dont vent in reality and end up ruining relationships. and hopefully this time i dont give up and i stick to being a vegetarian and i actually do make walking second nature. and i dont have the kind of relationship with my parents where i can sit them down and tell them to support me, plus ive told them numerous times that im trying to lose weight but still they tend to enable my unhealthy eating patterns, plus they are my parents they should support me without me having to tell them so many times that im losing weigh. i mean yes of course i know its my choice but then i feel guilty for not eating the pasta that my mom made, its like im insulting her. i mean shes a housewife, always has been, and she doesnt have alot of family where we live they live in another country, and so she doesnt get out much, and i hate to see her hurt so by me rejecting her cooking i feel bad which i know is a weird reasoning to my eating patterns but its true and its how i feel. i mean its like by me not eating her food im implying her cooking sucks, how would that make u feel? and actually as shallow as this may sound but being healthy and fit, will actually bring a little peace and less stress in my life which translate into somewhat being happy.

i mean i just want to feel good about myself and i dont right now because of the way i look and if losing weight will get me that feeling of peace then being slim will make me happy

lol

vaimaru · April 2010

hey lick25 thats really good advice i'll try that next time, but i hate wasting food especially when some people die from malnutrition even one mouthful seems wasteful and i dont have a dog to eat the rest, so what should i do?

MattySparky · April 2010

well, I hear what you're saying but you're still going to have to come to the realization that in reality those are excuses that you've made for yourself as to why your eating habits aren't good. Whats more important? Being healthy or eating someones cooking? You have to decide whose means you are going to live by. This is a life lesson to be learned. Are you going to live at home forever, probably not. You said it yourself that you will be happier if you lose weight, which you will.

No more excuses, take control of your own life. Most of the journey is alone, except the support. If you cant get the support at home, you'll get it here. But you need to make changes yourself first in order to get the support you need.

I know this isn't easy to hear but it's the truth and the sooner you embrace the facts the sooner you will be on the road to success. One just cannot happen without the other.

vaimaru · April 2010

to matty sparky: yup your totally right, but its hard to change my mentality from thinking one way for soooo long. i mean any suggestions on how to change my mind set?

MattySparky · April 2010

totally:

first take it one day at a time and treat every day like it's your first until you get a handle on it

second, ask yourself who you are doing this for and why it is important to you (make a list and read it every day out loud)

third, start cooking for yourself (you're 21, time to grow up a bit)

fourth, dont wait for someone else to do this for you or start supporting you directly at home

fifth, log ALL of your food and exercise on your MFP diary. This will not only show you what you are putting into your body, but it will give you a measuring device to track your success (which is very important!!)

the list could go on and on but I think these are good starting points. You need to make up your mind what you want to do. If you are serious then you will be able to change your mentality. It comes down to willpower, determination, hard work and healthy eating. You cant be worried about offending your mother regarding her cooking. If she gets offended, well then too bad I guess. She's an adult and should be able to get over it. Maybe she could learn a thing or two about providing healthy meals for her family if she's such the great housewife etc etc.

Its like this: You're not happy, you're overweight. Your body is going to reflect your diet and health. If it's important to you then make some changes and stop playing the victim.

mrsyatesy · April 2010

Hi,
I think we all have parts of our life that contribute to us putting on weight, but as someone else has said, the key is not to let that define you. If your sister lost weight too, why not set a goal, or a competition in the family, to raise money for charity or to save money fro yourselves. Instead of wasting, why not ask your Mum to put half the amount on your plate, if you are still hungry when you've finished then you can always get a bit more, but the likelihood is that you wont need it. If you have left overs get creative in the kitchen with them the next night! Why not ask your Mum if you can cook one night and make a really healthy low cal and tasty meal - you can show them the way too.
Good luck on your journey!

SimonLondon · April 2010

This site was critical for me because it allowed me to be honest with myself and enter everything I was eating. I was genuinely shocked when I saw just how much calories I was eating because of pop and snacks. When I added the correct portion sizes I could instantly see why I was the weight I was.

The support here is great but the ability to see so clearly what was causing the problems was core to my weight loss.

I did NOT want to get in the mind set that I was on a diet because I knew it would make me feel bad. Instead I looked at my food intake and each week would knock one off (Fizzy drinks first week, chocolate the second week and so on). For me it was much easier because I was doing it gradually and at a pace I was comfortable with. It didn't feel like a diet but a gradual lifestyle change. It took me 8 weeks to get rid of all the bad things I was dumping in my body but for me this is a long haul journey which I wanted to do at my own pace.

To this day I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I still eat some junk but they are treat days and not the norm.

Be completely honest with your food intake and you should be able to spot patterns. I choose the worst culprits first (I used to drink waaaay to much fizzy drinks)

kwardklinck · April 2010

Food addiction is a tough one. What I had to do was just say that I'm not going to cheat for 6 days a week. Since the beginning, I always have my cheat day to look forward to. This is usually Saturday or Sunday. I eat anything I want that day and don't log a thing. Start with portion control. The good thing about this plan is you can eat anything you want to. You just have to limit your portions. Log your food before you eat it. It helps to make better choices. Get some work-out dvds or just put on your shoes and start walking. Do this at least 3 days a week. Drink lots of water and get lots of sleep. Don't expect the weight to come off overnight. It takes awhile to gain weight, so it's going to take awhile to lose it. You can do this. You have the strength in yourself to resist temptation. If you lose 5 pounds per month you will meet your goal in less than a year. Just do it!

thegenealogist · April 2010

Hi Peyton,
It is really hard when your mom keeps providing unhealthy food for you. I took matters into my own hands, mom didn't like it much but I had to do it. I said 'it's OK, I'll fix my own dinner'. Eventually she got used to it, and even got with the program :-) The other thing that I had to do was teach her that when I said 'no thanks, I don't want a piece of cake' I really meant it. Eventually I said to her 'No, you know I don't eat cake'. It's worth persevering with it, it pays off in the end.
Hang in there, and don't be too ambitious with your goals. By all means aim to get down to 140lb, but do it in steps. Say, aim to lose 5lb, or 10lb. Then it doesn't seem such a difficult thing to do. Then once you have done that bit, do another chunk.
You have plenty of people trying alongside you, don't think you have no support group because we are all rooting for you :-)

By the way, I weigh 180lb and although I know I am overweight I also know that a). there are plenty of people bigger than me having a great time, and b). some people like me this big. So don't think that you look like a cow, you are comparing yourself probably with unrealistically skinny people. If you feel better about yourself as you are, you will comfort eat less, and do more, and the weight will come off. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are gorgeous, because I bet you are!

lick25 · April 2010

hey lick25 thats really good advice i'll try that next time, but i hate wasting food especially when some people die from malnutrition even one mouthful seems wasteful and i dont have a dog to eat the rest, so what should i do?

Learn to take smaller portions in the 1st place is always a good place to start. My mum and I ate of smaller plates to help us reduce our portion sizes. Instead of eating off a dinner plate, we'd eat off a side plate, that way it still looked like a lot and we actually still felt full which was unbelievable to both of us!!

I thought I better add a little of my history so you know where I'm coming from!!! I used to be going into size 22 clothing before I was pregnant. While pregnant I really concentrated on learning to eat more healthily because I turned diabetic and succeeded in losing 21lbs. Then after the pregnancy, the diabetes went away again. So I decided it was ok to eat junk again. Size 18 was fitting me perfectly but now they're getting really tight again as I've put weight back on so now I am using MFP to teach myself how to maintain a lower weight and I'm aiming to lose more. I know I can now because I've already done it!! Like I said before, it's about getting your mind set right :-)

amy1612 · April 2010

I agree that you should start cooking your own meals, maybe even cook for your family, they may enjoy it

. Youre around the same age as I am, so if you ever wanna chat just send me a message. Your mum is just going to have to man up, youre not telling her her cooking sucks,youre just taking a step in the healthier direction, and it could benefit your whole family.

FOR THOSE WHO HATE BEING FAT AND ARE ANGRY ALL THE TIME- a p

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