Building the "Mind Muscle"

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FirstCoastLisa
FirstCoastLisa Posts: 56
in Motivation and Support
I posted this on the fitness/workout forum and it just disappeared to the second page without one responds so maybe that is the wrong forum for my question so let me see if this is a better forum for the question....


Here is my situation in a nutshell. Forty-seven year old female from a non-athletic background all of her life. Have done the yo-yo thing many times and making it about the number on the scale rather than about losing to keep it off and get to a place of optimal fitness so I am sure I have lost as much if not more lean body mass in the past as I have the fat. I am working with a personal trainer and my goal is to get physically fit and dropping the weight is a happy bonus in the process. I am seeing the trainer 2 x per week for an hour workout and then he directs my at-home efforts on the days I am not meeting with him. Here is where I need your help...

Being from a non-athletic way of life my entire life (I did not play sports as a kid my parents were more about good grades and activities like piano lessons, art, etc. ~ you get the picture that there is not the spirit of an athletic competitor hiding inside me waiting to be found again), not only am I having to learn how to be athletic in a physical sense but I am finding my mind is just as big of an under-developed muscle as the ones in my body. I have learned that emotions and past stress can play into the workout equation since the body processes stress as well. Last week I had an "I feel like I am going to cry moment" during my workout. I felt a flood of tears come on me halfway through my circuit training and I battled the tears for the last half of the workout. MY PT assured me that everyone has moments like that. I did make a forum post (entitled TEARS) and was assured by others on MFP that they have experienced the same so I now I don't feel like such a crazy lady.

My trainer has made the statement that I am going to have to "get tough" in my head a well as my body. He told me there is no switch I can flip that it is a process. Was this a challenge for you? How did you navigate the transition? I would prefer a "switch" because when I start feeling that emotional sensation come on when working out, it can get me really distracted and I start to focusing on both working out and trying to keep the emotions at bay.

The PT told me yesterday that world-class athletes like an Ali or Michael Jordan had train their minds as much if not more than their bodies to get to the level of performance that they were at physically. How do I develop, nurture, grow, get that "tough" mindset? I always feel so good when a workout is done, both physically and mentally, but the heat of the moment I can have some really bad, limiting and self-defeating thoughts. These thoughts then turn to the whys and then I start to see reaching my goals for fitness as next to impossible.

I am not looking for a magic bullet as I know there are none but rather just wanting to give myself every advantage to help me stick with the workout program and not feel so overwhelmed or whatever it is that I a feeling. If you went through something like this how long did it get you to get past that point where your mind muscle was stronger than your work out muscle so therefore the workouts became easier in a sense that you didn't feel like you were battling on two fronts?

Sorry this got a bit long and rambling. This is not a situation that can be expressed in just a few lines. Thank you for taking time to read and respond to my situation.

Replies

  • vorgas
    vorgas Posts: 741 Member
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    I always hated lifting weights, and cardio for cardios sake was a form of personal hell. Routine is BOOOOORRRING for me. I cant tell you how many times I jumped on the diet/exercise bandwagon only to be off it a few weeks later.

    I had to do a couple of things to make the switch. I had to tap into my own personal motivators and devise a plan that worked with those.

    For me that meant building small victories. I needed to see regular progression to stay motivated, but I didnt want to be so challenegd I dreaded the workout. To do this I started at small weights, or short exercise periods, but I regularly bumped them up every time. Each time I walked into the gym I was successful, so after awhile it was easy to show up. Every time I go I have objective proof that Iam better than the last time. That was awesome and it appealled to my logical rational mind. To keep from getting bored I would periodically try new exercise classes, or change up the routine.

    This is what worked for me. It may be different for you. What motivates you maybe different. Maybe you prefer routine. Maybe you prefer impossible challenges. Maybe you need the approval of others. Whatever it is, I strongly suggest taking the time to figure it out and building your routine to match.

    Hope that helps.
  • juliesjuke
    juliesjuke Posts: 93 Member
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    Hi thought that i would add my two cents...I have always enjoyed walking as an exercise,but after i joined a gym with a friend i found that just walking was not enough for me. I enjoy the challenge of the machines, to see how long i can do one. I also do strength exercises. I try to switch them up a little so i don't get bored.
    The biggest motivator for me is seeing how much better my clothes fit !!! I have lost 6 inches in my hips alone. I am pear shaped so this is a biggie for me.
    If you do not enjoy exercising in the first place,then it would be harder to get your mind around it. Hope that you begin to enjoy what you are doing, and see the big change in your size...Good luck...
  • jstout365
    jstout365 Posts: 1,686 Member
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    Maybe for you, at this point at least, it would make sense to let the tears out. Exercise can be like therapy and bring to the surface things you push down. Needing to focus on form, the sweat, the movement, the trainer, can open the door to the feelings that you subconsciously work so hard to repress. When the emotion comes up, recognize it and accept it as part of the process. Later when you have some quite time, reflect on what you were feeling and see if you can pinpoint the issue. No one is the same and some people can start working out and not have a problem, others need time to train the brain to key in on the physical while leaving the emotional alone. It could also help to find a distraction to think about when training once things become a bit more automatic in nature.

    I often struggle working out on my own without music. In a way I guess it is my distraction technique to keep my mind focused on something other than my body screaming or my inner monologue screaming.

    Strengthening the mind requires a lot of inner reflection and understanding and appreciation of ones self. It won't happen if you don't put in the work.

    Also, anyone can be athletic, no matter the background or physical condition. As you are able to do more and see yourself improve you will help get past the "I've never been an athlete" thing and see that you have always been athletic, just were never given the chance to let it get out. Why should being fit be reserved only for certain people? Work hard and you can be as fit as you want to be.
  • toludc
    toludc Posts: 49 Member
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    Thank you for reposting this. I am interested in the replies as although I enjoy sport I always hit a threshold I cant seem to break through. Any advise welcome
  • meglet175
    meglet175 Posts: 98
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    Hi dear,
    After reading your profile, I thnk you're just processing the pain of the losses you've faced in the recent past. Let those feelings out - it's cathartic. Who knows what else might be contributing - a fear of failure, shame about being overweight, fear of declining health, those 47-year-old hormones? You'll figure it out in time, but I truly believe the activity and the subsequent tears are healing you. You are reinventing yourself - no longer a wife, nor a daughter - and it's not easy being reborn.

    Give yourself permission to cry it out - if not while exercising, then at home afterwards. Just know that you are taking positive steps toward better health on every level - physical, emotional, spiritual - and be proud of yourself for the efforts you're making.
  • meglet175
    meglet175 Posts: 98
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    Oh, and one last thing - keep on kicking *kitten*! :bigsmile: That attitude is good for you.
  • FirstCoastLisa
    FirstCoastLisa Posts: 56
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    You all make a great points...it maybe that I need smaller goals that build faster. I worked out with my trainer on Monday and hit that workout wall of tears and I made it through the workout and felt great when it was over. Today I have been soooo sore that I have had to push, push, push myself to do my workout. I have been on this journey since January 1 and the goals for my daily workout when I am not with the PT are 90 mins cardio and 3 sets of 15 each squats and push ups and 5 burpees. This does not sound like much to me but it sure feels like a lot.

    I guess this is the classic chicken or egg scenario. Am I so sore because I am so out of shape or am I so sore because I am doing too much? Either way I am not going to give up. The diet part of this is going easy breezy so much so that I am wondering if an alien invaded my body that would be an alien who is highly carbohydrate sensitive so therefore carbs are like so not an issue for me now.

    This low carb eating alien is going to continue to cry and "kick *kitten*".
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
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    Personally I believe that positive re enforcement works much better than negative re enforcement. The "I can't" attitude, lingers in the subconscious. When you feel defeated before even starting, then expect defeat. You won't always win, but going in with the attitude that you will, will help you to overcome tough opposition.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
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    My very first session with a personal trainer, he told me there will be one time that I will need to have a break, because all work will be worthless and no progress will be seen then. I thought he would just make fun of me, after all I was motivated and wanted to do something about my overweight.
    Well, I worked out for 4 months straight ( 3-5 times a week) and didn't notice that towards the end, my fitness level dropped slowly. The workout he made me do was getting harder and harder to finish until that one day on the elliptical, that I was about to cry. I just couldn't do it anymore. I stopped and moved on towards the bike (another exercise in my workout plan for that day). Even on the bike I wasn't able to finish. I completely stopped, went for a shower and shed a few tears where nobody could see me ... and had my break of 2 weeks.
    After that break, I was able to do everything with ease again.
    Later on, thinking about the whole situation and the days and weeks before, I understood I was building this up. I learned to read the signs of my body when it tells me to have a break, and have not been in this situation anymore since then.

    Long story short: this "wanting to cry" for me was a sign from my body telling me to have an extended rest time from working out. The more or the harder I work out, the sooner I need it. My trainer now tells me when he thinks I need a break (according to the workout program he prepares for me) and he's usually right.

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