Why can I not choose what's best for me?

First of all, I'm looking at your profile pic and you are absolutely beautiful... but 313 is unhealthy. You're putting yourself at risk for a whole slew of ailments that can ruin your quality of life and likely shorten your life as well. It sounds like you could really benefit from talking to a nutritionist. Could you ask your doctor for a referral?

In the meantime, try making changes slowly. Do you drink a lot of soda, juice or other sugary beverages? If so, tell yourself that you are going to give them up. If that goes well after two weeks, make another small change. Try to get out and take a walk every day. Walking works! Don't make excuses and don't worry about whatever happened in the past. Think of today as the first day of the rest of your life. Make good food choices and log all of your food into your MFP food calculator. When MFP comes back and tells you that "if every day were like today, you'd weigh x in 5 weeks," go to your calendar and write that number down 5 weeks from today. That was enormously inspirational to me. It encouraged me to make every day like that day and guess what.... 5 weeks later, I was where they told me I'd be and I was thrilled.

You might even consider setting a (realistic) goal for yourself. Maybe set your goal to be that you log your food on MFP every day. Maybe your goal is that you get out for a walk 5 days a week. Set a goal, set an end date and if you reach your goal, have a reward in mind. I have a number of mini goals (ie I've give up certain foods I really like, but I've set goals that if I can get down to X weight and stay there for 2 consecutive weeks, then I can go out and celebrate by eating that food one night). I also set aside some money a while back and told myself that if I got down to a certain size, i was aloud to take that money and spend it on some pretty extravagant clothes (which was so much sweeter since I they were in a much smaller size). See if you can enlist your boyfriend in your challenges & rewards. Maybe he'll want to do a challenge with you.

You can do this! Start small and stick with it.

Finally, don't waste too muck time thinking about when your parents stopped carrying you around. I have 2 kids (a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old), and neither my husband nor I don't carry either of them around anymore and haven't for years. My 5-year-old is as skinny as a string bean, but he's still about 40 lbs. Imagine carrying around a 40 pound weight Both of my boys have legs and we expect them to use them. I was a skinny little kid, but my parents didn't carry me around when I was 5 either.

Good luck!!

jesindc makes some very good points. Also, remember that you aren't trying to "go on a diet." Imagine being on a diet for the rest of your life--Yuck! You are trying to change your life style so that you don't have to "diet."

#1 Increase your physical activity: For example, trade playing online computer games for a game platform that has a move component like the Wii or PlayStation Move. That way you are gaming and doing something that is familiar and fun, but at the same time you are increasing your daily caloric expenditure. Take the first parking spot so you get in more steps when going to the store. Do you have stairs at your work? If you do, walk up and down the stairs at lunch (start small and work your way up). For date night go to a dance club (and dance) or go for a walk around the park, play ping pong, bust out the frisbee. Every little teeny tiny thing you do will add up. Also, when starting a workout routine, make sure you start nice and easy so you don't hurt yourself (that would be really discouraging).

#2 Eating right: Another thing I hate is giving up particular foods. Don't give up anything you love--just add so many new and better things that you rarely have the time or inclination to have that bad thing (except for fast food--give that up today and never let another ounce of that poison to cross your lips). For example, instead of grabbing a can of soda, make a pitcher of water with fresh orange slices in it and pop it in the fridge. Try to drink that whole pitcher by the end of the day. Each day you can make a different flavored water (splash of unsweetened cranberry with apple slices; cucumber slices and fresh basil; etc, there are a million options). Do you love burgers? Try experimenting with different turkey or veggie burger recipes. Add a large green salad to one of your daily meals each day. Make a promise to try a new vegetable (or new way of preparing something) every week. You never know what you will like. My husband always thought he hated brussels sprouts because his mother overcooked them. I just cut them in half, mist them with olive oil and grill them and he can't get enough. He also thought he hated yams and sweet potatoes because his mother always prepared them with sugar. I treat them in a savory manner (again just cut, olive oil, grill or roast) and he gobbles them right up.

#3 Keeping motivated is also really important. Coming on to MFP and reading the posts from other people really helps me a lot, and I learn a new trick practically every time I log on. A subscription to a fitness / health related publication (e.g., prevention, self, etc.) is another way to keep your eye on the target. Make a list of all of the things you would do "if only you were at your goal weight." All your reasons why you want to be healthier. Refer to that list often.

#4 Keeping track: It is also very important to weigh yourself regularly so that you don't have a big slide when you aren't paying attention. Just make it a habit to weigh yourself on the same day each week--I do it on Friday morning so I don't have to kick my self for Saturday's indulgences :-) Don't beat yourself up or agonize over the number; just be aware of where you stand so that you don't get any nasty surprises.

Once you make a few positive changes, they encourage you to make more and you will start to gain momentum. Don't pressure yourself. Love yourself into making these changes.

Good luck!

You can do it Honey......you just have to PICTURE yourself every minute. of everyday. the person you want to be. Know you can do it and know you will be that 'body' soon. But DONT EVER SAY YOU CAN'T because that's not a fact, it's not true, you physically can, YOU CAN- it's just if you WILL. It's hard, oh boy is it hard, but I can guarantee you it's not nearly as hard as aging overweight, and becoming more and more unhealthy...Plus you are young and have your WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE in front of you to frolic around in bikinis and do cart wheels if thats what you want to do- but it'll take work -just know you CAN DO IT:glasses: . DON'T DOUBT YOURSELF :huh: . Don't ALLOW yourself to even THINK that you are incapable of doing this, when you start to think that way just say NO. I WON'T THINK THAT WAY.. Just take teeny tiny steps- until you get to where you want to be and think of shaping up THE INSIDE- because after all that is what we ALL need and want- is to be healthy and happy, so while you are making your heart stronger- just by taking stairs instead of elevators- or parking far away or just by eating some carrots instead of a nasty processed bar of sugar- know that it's steps to a better heart/lungs/spirits = life - you'll be improving the INSIDE before you even see what's going on outside but you will eventually see it! Never give up:noway: !! Take breaks for a day or an afternoon if you need them or even a weekend but don't give up! You can do it! And on here we are all in the same boat for the most part and you have allllllllllllllll of us to help you thru! :flowerforyou:
I won't say GOOD LUCK because it's not LUCK- I'll say You go girl!!! Cause you CAN do it!! So check in with us all next Wednesday to share your small but substantial improvements!