too shy to go to the gym

alaskanaomi
alaskanaomi Posts: 36
in Fitness and Exercise
I have this horribly pathetic problem where I'm incredibly self-conscious at the gym. What's more: I work in the oilfield in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska for two weeks out of the month, and I'm one of few women among many men. So whenever I can drag myself to the gym, it's usually full of a bunch of dudes working out who gawk and stare at any female because we are so sparse up here.

It's so bad that I have been waking myself up at 3:30 a.m. to go work out before anyone gets there. When there is someone there anyway, I go back to my room and do what I can in my cramped little dorm room.

I hate that I have this problem, I know I am stronger than this. I don't know what to do about it.
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Replies

  • victoriannsays
    victoriannsays Posts: 568 Member
    I work out at home right in my living room. its a fairly small space. I hate going to the gym too - im self conscious like you. Do you have a tv?
  • janatleigh
    janatleigh Posts: 33 Member
    I'm too self-conscious to work out in front of people right now. I bought an ellipitcal machine on walmart.com for about $90.
  • BenderFitness
    BenderFitness Posts: 349
    I'm a home workout gal myself. Maybe if you stick with it you will get used to it and not worry about it as much. :/
  • syrklc
    syrklc Posts: 172 Member
    i workout at home also. i have never been a big fan of going to the gym.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    Why not work out at home? You could get an elliptical or treadmill or something. Or, if you don't have that kind of money, try hula hooping or something like that!
  • MrsSardone
    MrsSardone Posts: 194 Member
    Ugh! I know what you mean. I usually blare my iPod so I forget that there are dudes walking around. But today I forgot my iPod (I know, it was horrible to workout without music) so I hid in the women's fitness room. I like that my gym offers an area for just women but it's so cramped!
  • MorganLeighRN
    MorganLeighRN Posts: 411 Member
    Do you have someone that would go with you? I've been at the gym before at night and I was the only girl with about 5 guys...I know how you feel. I got on the treadmill and ran and ignored them.

    On a lighter note, my father in law signed off on the Prudhoe Bay project in the 80's.
  • babymaddux
    babymaddux Posts: 209 Member
    let them look! you're there for you so make it about you. it's really no different to walking into a bar and having them look there too. the main difference is, maybe at the bar women want to be looked at.
    i don't know what your usual gym attire is, but going on what people wore when i lived in south east alaska, there is nothing wrong with you going in in baggy sweats and a guy's t shirt. whatever gym you go to, there will always be guys who look. the % where you are currently may be higher, but eventually you will head to a more evenly split gym and they will still look your way. look back, grin, and keep on going :flowerforyou:
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
    I hate going to the gym too, so I work out at home as well as getting out to run; in which I would assume is out of the question up there. I think it is common to not want to work out around a bunch of guys, either try to figure out a way to work out at home or 3:30 a.m every morning it is. You better than me I'm not a morning person!
  • drummer_lady
    drummer_lady Posts: 150 Member
    Argh I know the feeling, I worked on a military base this summer and I always felt super uncomfortable when I went to the gym and there were a bunch of fit male officers there! Unfortunately you just have to learn to ignore them, there's not much else you can do.

    You can also work out at home, but you say you are staying in a dorm room so you probably have limited space and can't make a lot of noise so that can be difficult as well. Fitness blender has a quiet workout made for people who live in apartments or other shared spaces that you might want to check out!
    http://www.fitnessblender.com/v/exercise-detail/Quiet-Cardio-Workout-Low-Impact-Apartment-Cardio-Workout/dm/
  • username_misso
    username_misso Posts: 50 Member
    im not sure of your exact situation but seems like it might be similar to oil rigs and mine sites. is your accommodation pretty much just your bedroom, and do you have to eat at communal mess hall places? is the gym just for people who work at the oilfields or is it in a town where anyone can go to it?
  • SharonaSunshine
    SharonaSunshine Posts: 4
    Sorry you are having this struggle.. you are so beautiful!!
  • Megamus55
    Megamus55 Posts: 38
    now i'm not a female so I can't say I have the same problem, but I am a obese man who regularly went to the gym with a buch of fit freaks so I had my own self esteem issues. I always imagined that everyone would stare and make fun of me because my belly sway while I ran on the treadmil or the lake of sweat i produce. but I finally said f*** it, its my health and thats more important than what I think people might be thinking about me. I went to the gym every morning, put my head down and worked out hard, i didnt notice anyone else cause i was so focused on the task at hand.

    now as a lady in your position with a large population of feminine deprived males surrounding you, I can see that being difficult, some men give us a bad name. If you can bring yourself to pop on some music and ignore the world around you all the power too you but if it is too much look into the TRX suspention training system, hooks on a door and has hundreds of exercises, jog, workout dvd's there is lots of at home stuff to be done.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
    I work in the oilfields as well and though I am not on the 2 week on, 2 week off schedule, I am stuck in the middle of nowhere in a trailer once every couple of months for a week or two. I bought bands to take with me and do alot of bodyweight exercises with the bands. It is not ideal but it does help. If you do have access to a gym, you must learn to block out all the guys and just focus on your workout. Don't be preoccupied with what others think, I know it is tough but it will come.
  • ObiRenKenobi
    ObiRenKenobi Posts: 32
    What about workout videos?
  • skcardiog
    skcardiog Posts: 316 Member
    one hundred percent home only workouts.
  • Diannelise
    Diannelise Posts: 16
    If working out at the gym is something you want to do, go for it! Definitely load up some awesome music on your iPod, bring a book or magazine, and lose yourself in your workout. Practice your own form of fitness meditation, focus on your well being and zone them out. When I first started going to the gym to run and lift free weights, I felt terribly shy and awkward, but as time went by and I went regularly, I felt more at ease. You'll find if you stick with it, it'll get easier. :). Best of luck in whatever you choose.
  • kellyraesmik
    kellyraesmik Posts: 34 Member
    I used to have that same problem! I thought I was the only one who would walk in and walk out because of how uncomfortable I was. Then I joined an all female gym, but now I just workout on my own at home or go jogging... and actually I have lost way more weight and got more fit this way. Kind of glad I moved on. How are we supposed to work out to our full potential with all these gross gawking eyes on us?
  • krissy_krossy
    krissy_krossy Posts: 307 Member
    I'm that way too. My husband is military so I go to the gym on one of the bases nearby so I can walk there and it's mostly men. I just try to find equipment that's not in front of a mirror, turn up my music, and try to ignore it. I'm not going to let feeling self-conscious keep me from exercising because I'm even MORE self-conscious about my weight. I just tell myself "why do I care what they think? I'm never going to talk to them. I don't know them."

    Some days the anxiety is too much and I just walk the dog for a couple miles. Still, at the end of the day my health is more important than me keeping myself from feeling self-conscious or uncomfortable for an hour.
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    As another alternative,what if you just tried talking to the guys once? If they are rude or flirty,start working out at home.If they are not,you will feel more comfortable there.Guys who stare and gawk mostly do so because they dont know you at all .When they know your first name and have interacted with you,there is lesser chance of that happening.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,984 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Markus_7
    Markus_7 Posts: 165 Member
    I agree w/Sam308...you could even say: "please don't stare at me..." if they do.
    if you ask them to stop staring and they keep doing it...befriend the biggest/strongest-looking guy and ask him to workout with you or show you an exercise or 2. Then ask him to protect you/ help get the others to stop staring at you...
    also, the baggy clothes idea is good...get a t-shirt that reads: "If you stare at me I will kick your as*...I'm a 3rd degree black belt."
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    You're brave enough to work in the oil field but not to go to the gym?! You can do this! I agree w/the others - no revealing clothes and pop in the earbuds and crank the music - do your thing and ignore anyone else.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Me too, so I go as late as I can before they close, so there are less people.
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
    What's the difference between working with a bunch of men and working out with a bunch of men?
    You're apparently used to being with men only, lots of men, so why does this disturb you at the gym?

    Go there, earplugs and some good music and you're in your own world. Just do like children do: if I don't look at you, you can't see me ;-)

    Most people at the gym are so much focused on themselves and their workout that they won't notice you.
    Don't let anybody keep you from doing something for yourself!
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    When I've exhausted my muscles sometimes I have to use the 5 lb free weights to finish off my muscle exhaustion... I care what people think, but it's not going to deter me from making gainz at the gym. That's the whole point of the gym right? What's the point of going to the gym if you're not going to try your best.

    I worry more about cardio and if there is too much body fat jiggling... you can do a low impact cardio or just wear a hoodie. Find what works with you, but I'd serial flip everyone off at your gym if they gave you any trouble.
  • spamantha57
    spamantha57 Posts: 674 Member
    I was just thinking last night when I was doing Insanity (on my 8th day) how glad I was to be doing this behind closed doors because I felt like a gimp. Although I liked going to the gym, I don't like being around a lot of people working out, so I just pretend they're not there.
    Try & work out on your own, or if you go to the gym, just pretend no one else is there. Everyone's too focused on themselves anyway.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    I do P90X at home and find it very challenging.
  • melindanew
    melindanew Posts: 150 Member
    Work out with your partner

    Wear super baggy clothes & a do rag
    THIS. I find that if a female makes themselves less "attractive", they don't garner as much attention.


    That's completely ridiculous. Why should I have to hide myself just to keep pervs from being jerks?

    If you're self-concious at the gym, that's one thing, but I will be damned if I am going to dress so as not to 'garner attention'. I'm not exactly wearing a bikini or anything (and believe me, you're glad I'm not) but....just.....I have no words for this attitude at all.

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