adding friends?? Please put me in "the know..."

llpaq
llpaq Posts: 263 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Why do I go to a lot of profiles and people have written "if you don't leave a message- don't ask to be my friend?" "if you don't tell me where you know me from- move along"........ I honestly am either looking at the profile pics and they are awesome or loving a comment someone put- isn't that what most of us are doing? Am I wrong for that? Do you think I should investigate more and why? I just want to know if I should be more aware of whats going on and why it's so important to screen people because I'm just adding any ol body who asks :indifferent: .... I'm still a little new so I'm not saying it's wrong I'm just wondering what is the deal with that. I don't see how a comment of " I like your pic" is going to screen much of anything out. If I get a creeper or a salesperson I'll delete him/her but for the most part I think we're all here for the same reasons, I think some of them comments may hinder someone from trying to be your "pal" and you may be a great help for that person.- Plus we all can deny requests right? TOTALLY JUST CURIOUS...... Let me know your reasonings if you have this please- just so I can KNOW :smile: I just seen an AWESOME PIC and went to the page to add them and it said "get to stepping if you don't write a message......don't think about adding me." Jeesh! :huh:
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Replies

  • losing101in2013
    losing101in2013 Posts: 16
    Just rude people I think.....add me if you like.
  • aakokopelli7
    aakokopelli7 Posts: 196 Member
    I think a lot of people just gather friends with no real intentions on communicating, becoming friends with or motivating anyone, just wants 1000 friends on their list. Also, Trolls are everywhere on here, so I think those people who want a message to go with a friend request, have been a victim here so they are just trying to avoid it. Also some people are very serious and only want certain weight loss/fitness program friends.
    I will give anyone a chance, as long as they can handle my sense of humor and such then I am cool with it. :D
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    If you accept everyone your friend's list can get too big and difficult to manage after a while, so you end up going back and deleting people that aren't active.

    People that try to add you without a message are the people that tend to be less active. It's easier to cut out the middle man and reject the request.
  • aakokopelli7
    aakokopelli7 Posts: 196 Member
    If you accept everyone your friend's list can get too big and difficult to manage after a while, so you end up going back and deleting people that aren't active.

    This too.
  • cjordan7496
    cjordan7496 Posts: 2
    I don't know either...interested to know...
  • losing101in2013
    losing101in2013 Posts: 16
    Makes sense. ^^ Fire_Rock
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
    Gotcha!!! :smile: Now it makes a little sense but I still think people who are REALLY fit and serious should add newbies who aren't because I want to be like them one day!!! :happy: Seriously though- that's my goal.
    Anywhoot- I have just been seeing it all over and the too many friends to keep up with makes sense- I just :heart: all my friends now and the ones who haven't logged in often may need an extra boost from friends like me :flowerforyou:
    Thanks though- I'm glad none of you took it wrong- I'm just tryin to get the hang of things :smile:
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Speaking for myself, I have 47 friends. I have trouble keeping up with all of them and don't have a lot of time in the day between work, school and parenthood. There is nothing I could meaningfully contribute to a new friend without some measure of detriment to my existing friends.
  • EddieG43
    EddieG43 Posts: 36
    Request sent!! I love to motivate people and on here quite a lot. Feel free to add me....I love to get and give support. We are all here for a reason. Best of luck to you all in your journey!!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    Yeah, well, you can write whatever you want on your page. I have mine locked down anyway....been here too long, seen too much. I don't even read peoples' profile pages anymore unless they are sending a friend request.
  • MdmAcolyte
    MdmAcolyte Posts: 382 Member
    I'll usually send a little note like "Hi, I read where you said XXXXXX and it was funny/made sense/inspiring! Let's be friends!" Its not a huge deal to start a conversation with someone you'd like to get to know...
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    because I don't want to be friends with people that are super sensitive and go around being offended by every little thing they disagree with. So if someone tells me that they appreciate my fondness of Hookers and Blow I know there is a pretty good chance we will get along. Also, there are creepy people on here...hard to believe I know....but it is true. If I get a message saying "I want to lick your elbow", then again, I know that they aren't for me.
  • niknak2308
    niknak2308 Posts: 315 Member
    Personally I "politely request a brief message saying how you came across my profile as I like to know how you found me and who I'm becoming friends with!"... for exactly that reason lol. I add most people that send me a request but will delete those who haven't been active in 2/3months.
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
    I just like to know a little about people. Even if you think a comment I made was "good" for whatever reason, tell me what you read and maybe where you saw it. If you like my pic, maybe let me know why you like it. Blindly adding people for me is like walking up to some random and chatting about your grandmother in the produce section of the grocery store; at least start it off with "MMm, I love orange peppers too! "
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
    If you don't write a message then I probably will accept you anyway, but I might not, just keep that in mind :)
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 614 Member
    because I don't want to be friends with people that are super sensitive and go around being offended by every little thing they disagree with. So if someone tells me that they appreciate my fondness of Hookers and Blow I know there is a pretty good chance we will get along. Also, there are creepy people on here...hard to believe I know....but it is true. If I get a message saying "I want to lick your elbow", then again, I know that they aren't for me.

    ^^^ love you ^^^ Sorry about the licking your elbows request. It won't happen again
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
    because I don't want to be friends with people that are super sensitive and go around being offended by every little thing they disagree with. So if someone tells me that they appreciate my fondness of Hookers and Blow I know there is a pretty good chance we will get along. Also, there are creepy people on here...hard to believe I know....but it is true. If I get a message saying "I want to lick your elbow", then again, I know that they aren't for me.

    LOL!:laugh: Well I'm not sure that my opening statement would be that I like hookers' or 'I want to lick your elbow" LOL! But I get it now - totally! :wink:
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    because I don't want to be friends with people that are super sensitive and go around being offended by every little thing they disagree with. So if someone tells me that they appreciate my fondness of Hookers and Blow I know there is a pretty good chance we will get along. Also, there are creepy people on here...hard to believe I know....but it is true. If I get a message saying "I want to lick your elbow", then again, I know that they aren't for me.

    ^^^ love you ^^^ Sorry about the licking your elbows request. It won't happen again

    you were my friend before I had my high standards...and I like when YOU lick my elbow.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    I am a picky person when it comes to my friends. I like knowing where you found me and WHY you think we would make good friends. I like to connect with the people I am adding, and by adding a little message (the funnier the fast I will add people) I can make an informed decision on who I am adding.

    Just my personal preference, has nothing to do with being rude ...
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
    Am I the only one who just see's a HOT picture and wants to add someone because of that?? (please don't tell me I AM the creeper! :embarassed: lol) I think pictures speak volumes, especially for this site... We're all trying to getting fit and live healthy or help people for that reason. At the same time Im no dumby I know there are weirdos everywhere but if there are I don't think that will be their opening statement to me- so whats the point.....if someone said "I like your pic- you're hot" in 4 months when I am :wink: :wink: :wink: I would add them. If they asked to lick my elbow I would delete them.
    But I honestly I get it now and understand! Thanks everyone :flowerforyou:
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
    I never turn anyone down :bigsmile:
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    I honestly never look at the profile, I just click to add the friend. I try to put a message in but sometimes I am just too lazy! I have only been here a few days and I have already gained 53 friends. Personally, I don't care if I already know the people. In fact, I kind of like that they are all strangers! It makes it easier for me somehow.
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 425 Member
    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:
  • Mrc1974
    Mrc1974 Posts: 75 Member
    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:

    I agree llpaq, for newbies I would like to believe that its not a case of laziness but maybe people are a little shy or don't know what to say to make that introduction. But each to their own :smile:
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 425 Member
    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:

    Yeah, that came off a lot more rudely than I intended. I think I was bothered by the person above me who stated that she never even looks at a profile and is too lazy to send a message. (Seriously not trying to start something here...it just rubbed me the wrong way). I've been at this a while and I see a lot of people like this and it's difficult for me to believe that they are going to hang around. I add strangers, but I do like to get to know my MFP friends and to be able to leave sincere encouragement...not just the generic "WTG" and "GJ" just to post something (not that there's anything wrong with that here and there...just not every comment). I agree with you on the "don't bother" or "keep it moving". I think that's probably a difference in personalities though...some people respond well to those who are "straightforward" or who um "keep it real"? I'm with you, in that I don't like such wording. Again, sorry that came off as rude. Definitely not my usual intention.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    That does not mean I can't be agood friend to a person. The times when I am sendimg requests is usually in threads like this where the comments have been made along these lines, if I am friending someone after reading a post they made about looking for more support I may add a message in relation to their post. Sorry if that "bothers" you.

    and another thing. I am going to estimate that 80% of the friend requests I recieved from posting in the forums, had NO message attached. I understand that sometimes people may simply not know what to say. I don't hold it against anyone.
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:

    Yeah, that came off a lot more rudely than I intended. I think I was bothered by the person above me who stated that she never even looks at a profile and is too lazy to send a message. (Seriously not trying to start something here...it just rubbed me the wrong way). I've been at this a while and I see a lot of people like this and it's difficult for me to believe that they are going to hang around. I add strangers, but I do like to get to know my MFP friends and to be able to leave sincere encouragement...not just the generic "WTG" and "GJ" just to post something (not that there's anything wrong with that here and there...just not every comment). I agree with you on the "don't bother" or "keep it moving". I think that's probably a difference in personalities though...some people respond well to those who are "straightforward" or who um "keep it real"? I'm with you, in that I don't like such wording. Again, sorry that came off as rude. Definitely not my usual intention.

    No worries at all...... I was just like, wait. I'm not lazy!!! LOL :laugh: Thanks for the clarification that was nice of you!
    ~ BTW I wish everything I ate went to my bubbies too! :bigsmile:
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 425 Member


    That does not mean I can't be agood friend to a person. The times when I am sendimg requests is usually in threads like this where the comments have been made along these lines, if I am friending someone after reading a post they made about looking for more support I may add a message in relation to their post. Sorry if that "bothers" you.

    and another thing. I am going to estimate that 80% of the friend requests I recieved from posting in the forums, had NO message attached. I understand that sometimes people may simply not know what to say. I don't hold it against anyone.

    I do understand where you're coming from as far as friending someone from a message board thread. For me, it's really difficult for me to keep up with who I've seen in a message board topic, so I'd like a message saying "hi, saw you in the so-and-so topic and I could really relate to you." Or something along those lines. I used to accept every friend request and I had nearly 200 friends because of it. Like I said, it's really difficult to keep up with so many people and to truly be supportive. I found that having that many friends was making me a crappy MFP friend because I just couldn't keep up. I think that the longer you are here, you'll see where I'm coming from. Of course...everyone is different. You may be able to keep up with a lot of people, unlike me. I really meant no harm, and yes, your comment "bothered" me...but hey, we're all bothered by something right? Good luck in your weight-loss journey.
  • sofielein
    sofielein Posts: 539 Member
    I like those guys' profiles who write like their entire attitude rant in 10 000 characters so you kindof skip to the end (as the person is not that interesting after all) - and you find "don't ever dare making a move on me or think I am making a move on you blabla"

    like, seriously, dude? :D good evening to you too :D

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