still self conscious after 55lb loss

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jonesie84
jonesie84 Posts: 73 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok I need advice from people who are or have been in my shoes. i've lost 55lb in the last year (212 to 156). i now weigh what i did when I met my husband 9 years ago. Here's my issue: when i was 60lb heavier i hated him touching me, staring at me and all that. I figured after losing the weight i would be better. WRONG! I still hate having him touch me. I know I am my own worst critic as everyone tells me I look fantastic and even now own a two piece bathing suit that i can wear in front of him. I jsut cannot stand to be touched especially around my stomach. It is starting to cause issues now which I hate. any tips?

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Replies

  • whitneyps7
    whitneyps7 Posts: 409 Member
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    so heres my 2 cents..... Im not married but I think you need to just let it go, breathe and just try to get over it cause its obviously causing issues and hes a man hun, he WANTS to explore now that your bodies different its just the way it is and the way men are, its not a bad thing. just take baby steps, and he will really enjoy it when you do let your gaurd down a little at a time.P.S im the same way i dont really care to be touched alot and especially around my stomach (im currently single) but when i am with a man i try to let them know how i am about it and it does usually cause problems so ive learned to kinda just not worry so much their doing that cause they like what they see so u shouldnt feel self concious.... good luck :)
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    Ok I need advice from people who are or have been in my shoes. i've lost 55lb in the last year (212 to 156). i now weigh what i did when I met my husband 9 years ago. Here's my issue: when i was 60lb heavier i hated him touching me, staring at me and all that. I figured after losing the weight i would be better. WRONG! I still hate having him touch me. I know I am my own worst critic as everyone tells me I look fantastic and even now own a two piece bathing suit that i can wear in front of him. I jsut cannot stand to be touched especially around my stomach. It is starting to cause issues now which I hate. any tips?

    22233788.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

    I think it is going to take time to wrap your head around the changes in your body.

    I have only lost 33lbs, but I had some similar issues.

    Funny story...a few months ago hubby happened to see me without my shirt. He grabbed a handful of love handle and said "damn honey!". I gave him a dirty look and said thanks in a really snarky way. THEN he explained to me that it wasn't a "damn you are still a cow" ..it was a "damn, I didn't realize you had made so much progress"

    You may have to sit him down and explain to him that your head hasn't quite caught up with the rest of you, and it is going to take some time to be comfortable having him touch certain areas that used to be bigger. Maybe step outside your comfort zone and give him an area or two that he CAN admire and fondle as much as he wants. As time goes by, I think you WILL get more comfortable with it.

    When I started my journey, I hated my body. I went to the gym, but I wore longer shorts, and baggy shirts to cover my flab. It really has only been in the last 6 months that I have purposely started wearing stuff that is a little more form fitting. I'm not 100% comfortable with it, but I figure I am not trying to impress anyone. Just a few weeks ago I went out and bought some yoga pants that FIT. Last night I walked by hubby and he said something to the effect of "WOW...when did you get THOSE pants?"
  • jonesie84
    jonesie84 Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    Ok I need advice from people who are or have been in my shoes. i've lost 55lb in the last year (212 to 156). i now weigh what i did when I met my husband 9 years ago. Here's my issue: when i was 60lb heavier i hated him touching me, staring at me and all that. I figured after losing the weight i would be better. WRONG! I still hate having him touch me. I know I am my own worst critic as everyone tells me I look fantastic and even now own a two piece bathing suit that i can wear in front of him. I jsut cannot stand to be touched especially around my stomach. It is starting to cause issues now which I hate. any tips?

    22233788.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

    I think it is going to take time to wrap your head around the changes in your body.

    I have only lost 33lbs, but I had some similar issues.

    Funny story...a few months ago hubby happened to see me without my shirt. He grabbed a handful of love handle and said "damn honey!". I gave him a dirty look and said thanks in a really snarky way. THEN he explained to me that it wasn't a "damn you are still a cow" ..it was a "damn, I didn't realize you had made so much progress"

    You may have to sit him down and explain to him that your head hasn't quite caught up with the rest of you, and it is going to take some time to be comfortable having him touch certain areas that used to be bigger. Maybe step outside your comfort zone and give him an area or two that he CAN admire and fondle as much as he wants. As time goes by, I think you WILL get more comfortable with it.

    When I started my journey, I hated my body. I went to the gym, but I wore longer shorts, and baggy shirts to cover my flab. It really has only been in the last 6 months that I have purposely started wearing stuff that is a little more form fitting. I'm not 100% comfortable with it, but I figure I am not trying to impress anyone. Just a few weeks ago I went out and bought some yoga pants that FIT. Last night I walked by hubby and he said something to the effect of "WOW...when did you get THOSE pants?"

    I actually told my husband part of my issues is that we havent had the money fo me to buy many new clothes unless i needed them for work. I really would like to buy things to wear around the house or just out and about that fit because when i wear the XL shirts and XXL bottoms.....i still feel that size. I'm thinking this really made sense to him.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    Options
    Ok I need advice from people who are or have been in my shoes. i've lost 55lb in the last year (212 to 156). i now weigh what i did when I met my husband 9 years ago. Here's my issue: when i was 60lb heavier i hated him touching me, staring at me and all that. I figured after losing the weight i would be better. WRONG! I still hate having him touch me. I know I am my own worst critic as everyone tells me I look fantastic and even now own a two piece bathing suit that i can wear in front of him. I jsut cannot stand to be touched especially around my stomach. It is starting to cause issues now which I hate. any tips?

    22233788.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

    I think it is going to take time to wrap your head around the changes in your body.

    I have only lost 33lbs, but I had some similar issues.

    Funny story...a few months ago hubby happened to see me without my shirt. He grabbed a handful of love handle and said "damn honey!". I gave him a dirty look and said thanks in a really snarky way. THEN he explained to me that it wasn't a "damn you are still a cow" ..it was a "damn, I didn't realize you had made so much progress"

    You may have to sit him down and explain to him that your head hasn't quite caught up with the rest of you, and it is going to take some time to be comfortable having him touch certain areas that used to be bigger. Maybe step outside your comfort zone and give him an area or two that he CAN admire and fondle as much as he wants. As time goes by, I think you WILL get more comfortable with it.

    When I started my journey, I hated my body. I went to the gym, but I wore longer shorts, and baggy shirts to cover my flab. It really has only been in the last 6 months that I have purposely started wearing stuff that is a little more form fitting. I'm not 100% comfortable with it, but I figure I am not trying to impress anyone. Just a few weeks ago I went out and bought some yoga pants that FIT. Last night I walked by hubby and he said something to the effect of "WOW...when did you get THOSE pants?"

    I actually told my husband part of my issues is that we havent had the money fo me to buy many new clothes unless i needed them for work. I really would like to buy things to wear around the house or just out and about that fit because when i wear the XL shirts and XXL bottoms.....i still feel that size. I'm thinking this really made sense to him.

    I get that... I am the LAST one to get anything at my house. The only reason I got the new stuff is that I had a $90 check from some crochet stuff I had sold. My friend took me out for my birthday and we went shopping at Old Navy. It felt SOO good to spend $$ on ME and no one else. it was the first time in a long time that I tried on stuff without wanting to cry. Looking back at pictures, I can see that I have a booty now...and I can see my hamstrings!

    I already have told him that I am going to need a (small) new summer wardrobe because none of my stuff is going to fit.

    Can you maybe scrape together $20 or so to go buy a few things a month at goodwill or another resale shop?
  • LibertyAkitas
    LibertyAkitas Posts: 14 Member
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    I can understand this...weight loss isnt just a physical journey...it's a mental one as well. The reason so many of us end up where we are is that we are never happy with what we have. Do yourself a favor, go to the grocery store and put 56 pounds of butter in a shopping cart and just look at it...if you can afford to buy it...take it home and stack it on your kitchen table...then DONATE it to the homeless shelter!

    Does your husband compliment your weight loss? Ask him if you "feel" different to him when he touches you...He may not think to say it, but I promise you he has noticed!

    Fifty Six pounds is a HUGE accomplishment! Congrats...Just keep working in accepting your bodies changes. The weight loss didnt happen over night and neither with the way you feel about yourself...I think the mental portion of this journey is harder than the physical!

    Donna
  • jonesie84
    jonesie84 Posts: 73 Member
    Options
    I can understand this...weight loss isnt just a physical journey...it's a mental one as well. The reason so many of us end up where we are is that we are never happy with what we have. Do yourself a favor, go to the grocery store and put 56 pounds of butter in a shopping cart and just look at it...if you can afford to buy it...take it home and stack it on your kitchen table...then DONATE it to the homeless shelter!

    Does your husband compliment your weight loss? Ask him if you "feel" different to him when he touches you...He may not think to say it, but I promise you he has noticed!

    Fifty Six pounds is a HUGE accomplishment! Congrats...Just keep working in accepting your bodies changes. The weight loss didnt happen over night and neither with the way you feel about yourself...I think the mental portion of this journey is harder than the physical!

    Donna

    Thank you very much for the advice and support :) I actually went to the store and put 7 gallons of water in a cart to see what it was like to push :)

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