adding friends?? Please put me in "the know..."

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  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
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    I never turn anyone down :bigsmile:
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    I honestly never look at the profile, I just click to add the friend. I try to put a message in but sometimes I am just too lazy! I have only been here a few days and I have already gained 53 friends. Personally, I don't care if I already know the people. In fact, I kind of like that they are all strangers! It makes it easier for me somehow.
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 430 Member
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    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
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    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:
  • Mrc1974
    Mrc1974 Posts: 75 Member
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    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:

    I agree llpaq, for newbies I would like to believe that its not a case of laziness but maybe people are a little shy or don't know what to say to make that introduction. But each to their own :smile:
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 430 Member
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    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:

    Yeah, that came off a lot more rudely than I intended. I think I was bothered by the person above me who stated that she never even looks at a profile and is too lazy to send a message. (Seriously not trying to start something here...it just rubbed me the wrong way). I've been at this a while and I see a lot of people like this and it's difficult for me to believe that they are going to hang around. I add strangers, but I do like to get to know my MFP friends and to be able to leave sincere encouragement...not just the generic "WTG" and "GJ" just to post something (not that there's anything wrong with that here and there...just not every comment). I agree with you on the "don't bother" or "keep it moving". I think that's probably a difference in personalities though...some people respond well to those who are "straightforward" or who um "keep it real"? I'm with you, in that I don't like such wording. Again, sorry that came off as rude. Definitely not my usual intention.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    That does not mean I can't be agood friend to a person. The times when I am sendimg requests is usually in threads like this where the comments have been made along these lines, if I am friending someone after reading a post they made about looking for more support I may add a message in relation to their post. Sorry if that "bothers" you.

    and another thing. I am going to estimate that 80% of the friend requests I recieved from posting in the forums, had NO message attached. I understand that sometimes people may simply not know what to say. I don't hold it against anyone.
  • llpaq
    llpaq Posts: 263 Member
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    It's really difficult for me to keep up with a lot of friends. I like a message so that I know why you're adding me...we have similar stats, I said something you found helpful, etc. I try to keep my friends list to around 100 people so I can try to be supportive to everyone. So for that reason, I don't accept every friend request (especially the ones who didn't even take the time to read my profile to see that I'd like a message). I don't see the point in adding friends just to have a bunch of friends. If you're too lazy or uninterested to read my profile, then how can you be a supportive friend?

    Ekkkkkk :huh: - I'm not too sure that people are just too lazy and uninterested, in my case I'm new and obviously think you can help me or be a support and I can give some support as well (again why I think we are all here) . I'm not sure that many people are adding friends just to have them....... I personally add them ONLY to get support and give support. It's not all about just GETTING support it's also about GIVING support as well. Thats my opinion of course. Also I would think just a nice "decline" or "I have too many friends not adding anymore" would be much more pleasant than a "keep it moving..." But that's just my way of thinking.... I get it though.
    I guess this is good though in a round about way because I wouldn't want people who feel I'm a burden unless I can explain why I want to be friends with them as my friend anyway- so it all kind of works out for us all :wink:

    Yeah, that came off a lot more rudely than I intended. I think I was bothered by the person above me who stated that she never even looks at a profile and is too lazy to send a message. (Seriously not trying to start something here...it just rubbed me the wrong way). I've been at this a while and I see a lot of people like this and it's difficult for me to believe that they are going to hang around. I add strangers, but I do like to get to know my MFP friends and to be able to leave sincere encouragement...not just the generic "WTG" and "GJ" just to post something (not that there's anything wrong with that here and there...just not every comment). I agree with you on the "don't bother" or "keep it moving". I think that's probably a difference in personalities though...some people respond well to those who are "straightforward" or who um "keep it real"? I'm with you, in that I don't like such wording. Again, sorry that came off as rude. Definitely not my usual intention.

    No worries at all...... I was just like, wait. I'm not lazy!!! LOL :laugh: Thanks for the clarification that was nice of you!
    ~ BTW I wish everything I ate went to my bubbies too! :bigsmile:
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 430 Member
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    That does not mean I can't be agood friend to a person. The times when I am sendimg requests is usually in threads like this where the comments have been made along these lines, if I am friending someone after reading a post they made about looking for more support I may add a message in relation to their post. Sorry if that "bothers" you.

    and another thing. I am going to estimate that 80% of the friend requests I recieved from posting in the forums, had NO message attached. I understand that sometimes people may simply not know what to say. I don't hold it against anyone.

    I do understand where you're coming from as far as friending someone from a message board thread. For me, it's really difficult for me to keep up with who I've seen in a message board topic, so I'd like a message saying "hi, saw you in the so-and-so topic and I could really relate to you." Or something along those lines. I used to accept every friend request and I had nearly 200 friends because of it. Like I said, it's really difficult to keep up with so many people and to truly be supportive. I found that having that many friends was making me a crappy MFP friend because I just couldn't keep up. I think that the longer you are here, you'll see where I'm coming from. Of course...everyone is different. You may be able to keep up with a lot of people, unlike me. I really meant no harm, and yes, your comment "bothered" me...but hey, we're all bothered by something right? Good luck in your weight-loss journey.
  • sofielein
    sofielein Posts: 539 Member
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    I like those guys' profiles who write like their entire attitude rant in 10 000 characters so you kindof skip to the end (as the person is not that interesting after all) - and you find "don't ever dare making a move on me or think I am making a move on you blabla"

    like, seriously, dude? :D good evening to you too :D
  • AmberCHM
    AmberCHM Posts: 430 Member
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    No worries at all...... I was just like, wait. I'm not lazy!!! LOL :laugh: Thanks for the clarification that was nice of you!
    ~ BTW I wish everything I ate went to my bubbies too! :bigsmile:

    No, definitely didn't mean to insinuate that you were lazy :) I should have been more specific. I probably could have worded it a bit nicer too :/

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