HELP how to change my 2 year olds sleeping schedule

I can understand where you are coming from, but there really isn't a nutritional need for a two year old to be fed in the middle of the night. A child needs to learn to get through the night without being fed. I'd say that if any attention is needed, it should be payed to the evening meal, and ensuring it is sufficient to see the child through the night.

The mother's sanity is as important a consideration as anything else. Waking in the middle of the night to feed a two year old who almost certainly does not need feeding is obviously taking it's toll on this poor lady, and will almost certainly have a detrimental impact on her parenting ability the next day.

And that's the truth!

routine, routine, routine....There has to be a set routine...which it sounds like there is, just not a good one.

I'll probably take a bit of time and be somewhat of a nightmare for a week or so but just stick with the routine. If he get's up in the middle of the night, let him cry...let him throw his tantrum...do not give in and give him what he wants. He needs to know that it's sleep time and nothing else.

Also, personally, I'd recommend getting him up earlier...like 6:30 or 7:00 AM at the latest. Do you have a bedtime routine to help calm him down...we play the pick your PJs game...then it's off to brush teeth...then stories (3 max)...then a quick snuggle and a kiss and goodnight. Bath night is thrown in there every other night.

Everyone else basically said what I would have.. get him into a routine of waking, napping, and sleeping consistently.

I also have 2 kids, 3 years old and 1 years old and both are asleep by 8pm and up by 8am without waking in the middle of the night... and no I don't let me kids "cry it out". I've provided structure and routine in their life so they know what to expect. If you are allowing your child to determine his own sleeping patterns and having him dictate to you his eating patterns then I can only imagine what other things you allow him to decide/dictate! I don't believe in having some army schedule or anything like that, but some resemblance of routine on a daily/weekly basis really helps to avoid situations like you're having. For example, yes your son needs milk, but not in the middle of the night. He should get all his nutrients during the day. Nighttime is for sleeping and its your job to teach him that. He does need adequate sleep, you're right, but the routine you've allowed him to set isn't working for you or him and isn't a natural sleep pattern. So help him and teach him what is. Provide him with a consistent nap schedule, he may not sleep at first but his body will learn to expect nap time and get sleepy at that time you've set. Provide him with lots of opportunities to physically play during the day so he's tired at night. Give him lots of milk and food, etc during the day so he's not hungry/thirsty in the middle of the night. Given him dinner like 1-1.5 hours before bed that way he can drink as much as he wants and use the potty before bedtime to avoid night time accidents and so he's not needing to use the restroom in the middle of the night. Have a wind-down routine at night (turning off lights, warm bath, read in book in bed together, hug/kiss good night). Also, you said you leave a light on at night. One thing I've learned is that kids especially (most, not all) sleep better in a dark room. We all go through sleep cycles through the night and having a light on when we are momentarily awake can cause us to fully awaken instead of going to the next sleep cycle.

Those are just my 2 cents, you can take it or leave it, based on my own experiences. Good luck to you and your family.