Trying to overcome Anxiety & Depression

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Hey all,

Just wondering if there's anyone out there in the same kind of situation as I am. I've been depressed since I was about 12 years old. I'd go though ups and downs like everyone has in life. I feel like my weight has often played a part in it, however I do have a lot of mental illness in my family so some may just be crummy genetics.

In college I finally went on anti-depressants and then broke up with my long term boyfriend. From that time I started crushing on this guy (now my husband lol) so I was in a great mood, lost a lot of weight and was pretty much the happiest I had ever been. A series of unfortunate events took place about a year into our relationship (just a variety of health issues). That's when my depression set back in and I've gained about 65lbs. We've also moved around a lot and I've been laid of from a couple of jobs so things have been tough. We're still strong together, but we've been through a TON.

Then last year completely out of the blue I thought I was having a heart attack. This was when I developed anxiety. It's been a really intense year but I think I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I still get really bad melt downs from time to time (unfortunately had a horrible one yesterday) but I'm definitely better than I was.

Now I'm trying to pick myself up but it's so hard and I often feel like I'm alone in this because my husband doesn't know how bad it feels to live in the hell my head creates.

I'm just looking to see if maybe there are some people on here who are going through the same kind of thing and would like to keep in touch to support each other through the hurdles.

Replies

  • sweetsarahv
    sweetsarahv Posts: 180 Member
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    so glad i ran across this post! i'm actually starting therapy again on Monday for my anxiety! i ALWAYS am creating these insane problems in my head that i wouldn't be able to fix even if they WERE reality. I used to be 100% sure that my parents were going to get divorced. I usually think someone in my family is mad at me. I think everyone judges me when they see me"poor fat loser." It's EXHAUSTING! I worry all the time!

    You are definitely not alone!
  • BoilerMaker22
    BoilerMaker22 Posts: 53 Member
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    Hi Carrie. I haven't quite dealt with depression, but I too have been dealing with anxiety. I was a very anxious kid in high school and always thought everyone was noticing everything I did, so that made me nervous. It got to the point where I wouldn't eat lunch anymore because I was afraid of the crowds.

    I don't know what made me start going to therapy, but I did and was started on an anti-depression medication which also helps with anxiety. The medicine helped tremendously. I had more confidence, started being more social, and started working out. I started using this website and going to the gym regularly which helped me to lose some weight. Life was good for a while.

    Then, out of nowhere, I had an incident where I collapsed and was sent to the hospital. I attributed this incident to the medicine and decided to go off of it. After that incident, though, I started noticing every physical symptom I had and thinking the worst. Fast forward to December '11 and I was in a really bad spot. I was obsessing over my heart, my joints, etc. This caused me to be anti-social, not even wanting to talk to my parents. I started gaining weight again because all I would do is lie down in my room all day, my thoughts to keep me company. After a few weeks of that, I decided I had enough and went to the doctor. He suggested I go back on the medication and take therapy.

    Well, after going back on the medicine and being through therapy, I am back to a good spot and want to lose the weight I gained plus some. I'm having a hard time going to the gym, though, because I'm working so much. I just need to get myself going and stay that way, heh.

    Well, I didn't mean to give you my life story, but I wanted to show you that there are others out there who know how you felt/feel and understand it. I agree that people who don't have anxiety don't truly know how we feel and yes, someone who has been there is the best person to talk to.

    Feel free to message me any time.
  • jenndymond
    jenndymond Posts: 117 Member
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    I had/have bad anxiety and bouts of depression. Since I started making exercise a priority I have found that my anxiety is so much better. I now follow the 2 day rule, dont go 2 days without some sort of excersise. . Ive recently started running (alone) and it has an amazing abilty to clear your head. I just focus on my breathing and run.

    Add me if youd like! Best of luck with everythinf!
  • limismith
    limismith Posts: 156 Member
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    I'm in your boat. Depression and biplar run in my family and so does obesity. During my good days/weeks I get so much done and love to hit the treadmill and cook healthy dinners. But when I get down and tired its just too tempting to sit, and I avoid my food log like the plague! I am trying to log even my bad days now, and I know I feel better (and happier!) when I walk a little every night. Skip a day and I find my mood going down too...

    I'd love to visit an endocrinologist is a specialist to find out just what I am missing in my diet to help with my weight loss and mood! When I eat healthy and exercise I am so much happier!
  • tlcchild
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    I too deal with depression. It is an up and down battle. Although I take antI-depressants I still struggle with it. I am learning daily how to keep a positive outlook. it all starts with my own thinking. I wish you all the support and luck in your journey to become healthy.
  • Janetstretch
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    Not anxiety exactly, but high strung I would say I am. I find that the only thing that keeps me calm and grounded is cardio exercise, and for me high intensity cardio. The endorphins that are released during cardio exercise help to treat depression and other psychological disorders. Exrcise helps people feel less fatigued, depressed, and tense throughout the day. People have had these feelings since the beginning of time, are ancestors just had more need to be physical and unfortunately that is not the world we live in today. Starting an exercise regime is tough but once you get started you can get hooked......give it a try if you haven't already.
  • ylor89
    ylor89 Posts: 105 Member
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    Hey! :smile:

    Anxiety and depression...oh, they're old friends of mine...more like foes. :tongue:

    Depression has been off and on for me ever since I was a teen. I don't go through long periods of depression though. It really only lasts for a few days to a couple weeks and then I'm back to my regular self again. I try to have a positive outlook, and I'm very spiritual so prayer is a big part of my life. In college, I met someone who is such a great friend and spiritual mentor! I love, love, LOVE her! She is amazing. She does yoga and teaches meditation classes. She started teaching me ways of meditating too...but I've learned I have to be careful with bringing up conversations around yoga and meditation. Some people think it's demonic...I won't get into that though.

    Anyway, I'm very familiar with anxiety. I had a very stressful job last year and my body started developing painful lumps near my chest. My doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong, and they told me it was stress-related...which meant, "Take better care of yourself!" When I would get very anxious, my mind would start racing and I'd get out of breath even if I was standing still. I don't know how to explain it...like an anxiety attack? I also got headaches several times a day for many, many weeks. It was a horrible time! But boy did I learn a lot from that experience. :smile:

    I started taking fish oil (great for headaches!) and vitamin e for my lumps, which did go away. I also started meditating and focusing on my breath. It made a great difference in my life! I get anxious every now and then, but I catch myself breathing too quickly and I slow it way down. If my breath is calm, my mind is calm. :wink:

    I think I rambled on and now I can't remember what I was going to write about...or if I even answered your question.... Sorry!

    I hope you feel better though! Bubble baths are such a great help too! After a long day at work, I like to take one and meditate at the same time. I don't know if you're spiritual or religious, but when I meditate, I simply say, "Take refuge in your breath" and I recognize that my breath is my "friend" and has been with me since I've been walking on this good earth. The good and the bad, my breath has been there too. So take refuge during difficult times! :wink:

    P.S. I know this is getting long... But I just wanted to say that it's okay to cry too. I'm studying school social work right now and in every class I've ever taken during undergrad and graduate school, I've learned about burnt out and how to take care of myself. And crying is a great way to release those emotions we've got hidden away. I go months without crying sometimes, and then one day, something will happen and I'll have myself a good cry. And then I feel better. I'm not saying you should cry every day. That's another story. But every now and then, a good cry helps. :smile:
  • adenajoy
    adenajoy Posts: 15 Member
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    I suffer w/ depression (potentially bipolar II) and bad anxiety, among other things. The only thing I know is that when I feel in control of my life, I'm in a better place. That starts with controlling what I eat. It's amazing how quickly I become depressed when I let myself regress and eat poorly. When I exercise, I feel even better, even though I HATE exercising.

    It's definitely hard to deal w/ depression and anxiety because it's not something you can talk about with your friends. Therapists may help but it's tough to see therapists constantly for the rest of your life.

    It also helps to find a hobby that involves helping others. Nothing makes me happier than feeling like I'm doing something that helps improve someone else's life or mood. If you have time, perhaps you can volunteer with a youth organization - kids have the added benefit of being so active that you'll end up getting some cardio in just chasing them around (at least w/ the younger ones.)

    Most importantly, you just have to keep telling yourself that whatever is making you depressed/anxious right now is not going to stay around forever. Even the worst parts of life worthy of true deep depression are things that everyone has experienced. Easier said than done -but know you're not alone w/ the depression & anxiety. Many of us deal with these issues.
  • CarolAmanda
    CarolAmanda Posts: 84 Member
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    Count me in, too. Depression used to be the big one for me, but the past few years anxiety has been more a part of my life. Exercise does help. I have to remind myself of that sometimes, but I'm not the same when i'm not working out. My anxiety has really been getting to me the past several days, and I'm hoping some of it is pms related.

    Carol
  • chowe5999
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    I'm in the same boat as well. I have dealt with long bouts of depression on and off since I was in my early twenties (I am now in my mid fifties). It is always much worse in the winter. I now take Wellbutrin along with fish oil, vitamin D and vitamin B12. The situation has improved some. I find that I have to be quite vigilant about keeping as active as possible, even if it is just picking up around the house. I try to just keep moving. It's too cold here in the Midwest right now to walk, but I do when the weather is reasonable.

    The holidays were very difficult for me and I am glad they are behind me now. Does anyone else have particular difficulty around the holidays ?

    I feel like a stranger in my own family. The others are tall, thin, and don't suffer from depression (I don't believe). I feel so inferior around them, and I know I shouldn't. But I don't feel I have support there. Nice to know I can find support here with people I can relate to and who can relate to me.