Getting too obsessed with dieting and I need help?
KathyLau93
Posts: 3
Hi everyone! This is my first time using fitnesspal in the longest time. Anyways, I came here because I am in dire need of help. Here is my story
February of 2012, I started my weight loss diet. At that time, I weighed 155-160lb at 5ft, 2in. I currently weigh about 128.5lbs. I am 19 years old and I am a female.
During my dieting, I ate healthy, but not extremely healthy. My meals were laid out like this. For breakfast, I would have a bowl of Special K cereal with milk, other days I would add an egg along. Some days, when I would wake up late for school, I'd grab a fruit. For lunch, I either had some source of protein, veggies and rice or a turkey, egg, sandwich on wheat. And along with that, I would also have a couple of fruits, usually whatever is in season. My snack would consist of fruits or a small sandwich. And for dinner, since I live at home, I would eat whatever is for dinner, but in small portions (mainly loading up on veggies). The weekend was my cheat/rest days. My exercise would only be cardio 5 days a week. I would jog every morning at around 8 am for like 30 - 40 minutes, depending on how I feel, sometimes more than 40. I would consume 64 oz (8 cups) of water per day.
Anyways, I started losing weight slowly. And in June I weighed about 131lb. I had to take off the whole summer off because of personal issues, so I was not allowed to work out. I ate healthy and unhealthy. Starting September of 2012, I started back on my diet and exercise, but since I am a biology major, school took up a lot of time and I didn't have that much of a time to exercise, I probably did cardio 4x a week?? Beginning of December, I strictly stuck to my diet and instead of doing 4 days of cardio, I am doing 6 days of cardio with 1 cheat/rest day which is Sunday.
Now I feel like I have an eating disorder? Sometimes, I would skip meals or not even eat enough. I would feel so guilty after eating, even if it is healthy. I feel guilty eating after 7pm. I know I should just eat healthy and exercise to stay healthy, but I can't. I think I have this dire need to be skinny with a flat stomach. I don't know what to do. I want to get out of this, but I can't. I am counting calories to the extreme. I am checking for grams of sugar per serving, etc. I know I should not be doing this, but it is so hard. I guess I want to lose more weight? I am really scared of gaining all my weight back because I really don't want to be 155lb person again. I really don't know... I need help
Thank you so much for taking your time out to read this. It means a lot.
February of 2012, I started my weight loss diet. At that time, I weighed 155-160lb at 5ft, 2in. I currently weigh about 128.5lbs. I am 19 years old and I am a female.
During my dieting, I ate healthy, but not extremely healthy. My meals were laid out like this. For breakfast, I would have a bowl of Special K cereal with milk, other days I would add an egg along. Some days, when I would wake up late for school, I'd grab a fruit. For lunch, I either had some source of protein, veggies and rice or a turkey, egg, sandwich on wheat. And along with that, I would also have a couple of fruits, usually whatever is in season. My snack would consist of fruits or a small sandwich. And for dinner, since I live at home, I would eat whatever is for dinner, but in small portions (mainly loading up on veggies). The weekend was my cheat/rest days. My exercise would only be cardio 5 days a week. I would jog every morning at around 8 am for like 30 - 40 minutes, depending on how I feel, sometimes more than 40. I would consume 64 oz (8 cups) of water per day.
Anyways, I started losing weight slowly. And in June I weighed about 131lb. I had to take off the whole summer off because of personal issues, so I was not allowed to work out. I ate healthy and unhealthy. Starting September of 2012, I started back on my diet and exercise, but since I am a biology major, school took up a lot of time and I didn't have that much of a time to exercise, I probably did cardio 4x a week?? Beginning of December, I strictly stuck to my diet and instead of doing 4 days of cardio, I am doing 6 days of cardio with 1 cheat/rest day which is Sunday.
Now I feel like I have an eating disorder? Sometimes, I would skip meals or not even eat enough. I would feel so guilty after eating, even if it is healthy. I feel guilty eating after 7pm. I know I should just eat healthy and exercise to stay healthy, but I can't. I think I have this dire need to be skinny with a flat stomach. I don't know what to do. I want to get out of this, but I can't. I am counting calories to the extreme. I am checking for grams of sugar per serving, etc. I know I should not be doing this, but it is so hard. I guess I want to lose more weight? I am really scared of gaining all my weight back because I really don't want to be 155lb person again. I really don't know... I need help
Thank you so much for taking your time out to read this. It means a lot.
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Replies
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lift weigts... then the calories you consume are being put to use in a healthy way by contributing to added muscle tissue and bone mass..0
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This.lift weigts... then the calories you consume are being put to use in a healthy way by contributing to added muscle tissue and bone mass..
If all you do is switch 3 days a week of cardio for weights, you can relax the diet a bit. But here's the thing: you are NOT going to put back on all the weight you lost. It doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen without you noticing. It doesn't happen without your consent.
I say this with all sincerity... I know what you're feeling. The first time I lost weight I was very disordered. The only thing that changed for me was that I got pregnant and my headspace flipped. But I'm back at it this time in a way more reasonable way. I still LOVE exercise - I think I'm addicted to the endorphin rush - but I eat as much as I can and still achieve my goals. I've made it my goal to see how much I can eat and still lose/maintain (this ebbs and flows for me - I maintain deliberately before races and lose when I feel ready to do it).
You are so young. And you are healthy. It will not disappear overnight.0 -
I'm not sure if this helps or not, but one of the first things you should do is print this letter and take it to your Dr,, and let them help you with a plan. If you trace you intake with my fitnesspal,, and eat all the fod they say you should have,, maybe you can turn this around, but I really feel a professional person at this pount may be the answer,,, keeping you in my prayers,, J0
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Go speak to someone ideally a doctor. Ed's are so hard to get out of once your trapped, these are warning signs, if you feel out of control you need professional help and no amount of weightlifting will cure it. Good luck ed's are life threatening and sole destroying please seek help ASAP I speak from experience x0
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You need help. I don't know what else to say because the women I know don't have this problem. You don't want to kill yourself with not eating correctly. Please get help as soon as possible.0
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You're really not explaining why you think you have an ED. Your eating during last spring semester sounds very healthy, especially for a teenager. The only thing that would make it different, is if your family dinners were fried chicken, delivery pizza, etc every night.
If you were able to load up on veggies, it doesn't sound like that was the case. So I'm just not seeing what was unhealthy?
What triggered this feeling this fall that you need to skip meals, or not eat for long periods?
I used to listen to Inside Out Weightloss, its a podcast.
you can listen to it on your computer, phone, Ipod, whatever.
and If I can find the website, most episodes were free.0 -
I think its the control aspect that you need to loosen your grip of. Instead of reading the label of everything you eat, just scan, log and eat. Easier said than done, but you don't need to have perfect food days everyday.
The cardio you are doing should offset any poor food choices.
I hope you are eating back your exercise calories.
Figure out your goal, create a sensible plan to get there.
Speak to a dietician with your mfp food/exercise diary (as someone else suggested), you'll get some good advice from a trained pro.0 -
I totally know how you're feeling. I'm on the last 10-12 pounds I need to lose and I feel like I've been obsessing over everything I put in my mouth. Try to focus on some healthy goals. I just want to make sure I'm eating at least 1200 calories a day. If you feel like you're really going off the deep edge, try to talk to somebody you can trust. You don't sound like you having an eating disorder but never be afraid to ask for help.0
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Stop being critical of foods that have sugar and fat in them. It isn't the macronutrient amount that makes one gain fat, it's consuming more calories than their TDEE. It seems you classify foods into groups far too rigidly.0
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The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So you're in the right direction.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I have EDNOS and it's tough, really tough. I get the guilt thing, but tell yourself if you dont eat you will never look the way you want. Starving yourself doesn't make you look good. This is what I have to tell myself.
I also have the dire need for the flat stomach. I'm 5'5 120lbs & still fat, rather my BF% is too high because I didn't eat enough & did cardio all the time. I ended up skinny fat.
Everything you say, you sound so much like me, except I dont worry with counting sugar.
There isn't much I can say to help you, because I need help myself. But you're not alone. Know that much. I would NEVER wish this on anyone. Get help. Go to a Dr.
Also like others have said, know that you cant gain this all back over night. It won't go unnoticed. I know that doesn't help though. I'm scared of weight gain too. I will encourage to do some research & find out what things really matter in weight loss. It helps me A LOT, because I feel like I know what I'm doing then & can be re assured that I will be ok. But most importantly get help from a professional. And I know it's hard, but tell your mom or someone you're close with about these feelings. Support from the people you love will help you when you struggle. It's good to have someone to turn to.0 -
The advice I would give, and give to everyone, is never to call what you do a diet
I say this because what you need to do, what all of us have done or need to do, is change how we live. Exercise is important but maintaining a healthy diet is going to be the way you not only remove the weight but keep it off. I'm a huge advocate of exercise so some people are a little taken by surprise when I say that LOL Even if you have a bad day, try not to beat yourself up over it because in the end all that does is increase your chances of doing it again. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and you move on! Start with small goals you are capable of meeting and as you do set another goal, and then another. This is what I did and I met every single goal that I set for myself. Oh and stop skipping meals, the only thing this does is force your body to fight to hang on to the weight you have and it is just not healthy. 0 -
Stop logging every little thing...it isnt going to help you if you already have a grasp on proper portions and exercise.
Get to know about how much you should be eating, stick to that and pursue activities where you are not constantly watching a clock or checking your pulse...take a Kick boxing class, or Krav Maga or some other martial art.
If that fails....go get help from a trained pro.0 -
Eating disorders often come from a need for control. Often you may feel your life is out of control and the one thing you can control is your food. I agree with other that you may need to get help. You school may have a counseling center and that may be a place to start. Do not dwell on one "bad" food group there is no such thing as a bad food. Also you may never have a flat stomach some of us no matter how thing we are will never have a flat stomach. I have worked in mental health and have seen many young women with EDs. Just get healthy body, mind and spirit.0
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Stop logging every little thing...it isnt going to help you if you already have a grasp on proper portions and exercise.
Get to know about how much you should be eating, stick to that and pursue activities where you are not constantly watching a clock or checking your pulse...take a Kick boxing class, or Krav Maga or some other martial art.
If that fails....go get help from a trained pro.
And this from the guy who has just trashed MFP and is looking for an alternative calorie counter site!!!!!!0 -
Stop logging every little thing...it isnt going to help you if you already have a grasp on proper portions and exercise.
Get to know about how much you should be eating, stick to that and pursue activities where you are not constantly watching a clock or checking your pulse...take a Kick boxing class, or Krav Maga or some other martial art.
If that fails....go get help from a trained pro.
My, how you've changed! I thought you wanted to track calories? Dare I add, as you said in your original thread..."need"???
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/860040-does-the-daily-plate-exist-anymore?page=2#posts-12928936
He also mentioned that one should not track exercise. While he doesn't claim one should in this thread, it's an interesting overlap...
OP: It doesn't sound to me that you are on the verge of an eating disorder - merely realizing that old habits worked and it is time to return to them. The renewed focus can be uncomfortable (for years I was terrified dieting would land me with my mother's ED) but by itself, it is not bad. Be kind to yourself, see what results. Work on not feeling guilty about eating (many of us feel that way in the beginning, it's only in the long-term that becomes problematic.)0 -
I would suggest that you get help before this turns into something far worse.0
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I agree with sidesteel.
I think you know your view towards food isn't a healthy one.I would feel so guilty after eating, even if it is healthy.
:flowerforyou:0
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