Dating During Life-Makeover

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fara180
fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
in Chit-Chat
A nasty break up was part of my motivation to start a weight loss journey. I would love to meet a guy, but I feel like my options will be limited (I have very, very high standards for my next relationship) if I start looking for dates now opposed to later. I am basing my life on getting as fit as quickly and healthily as possible, as well as going to school full time....actively seeking a date doesn't really seem to fit into that.

How would guys feel about dating a girl on a mission like this? Especially because the "me" they go out with tomorrow isn't the "me" that will exist in a few months?

I'm thinking I should hold off on the search and if something happens, it happens.

Replies

  • ashleab37
    ashleab37 Posts: 575 Member
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    The way I see it?

    Focus on you for a while - don't go looking for a relationship, but if something happens naturally, don't turn away from it. You'll often find that the best things happen when you're not looking at all :)
  • Huzke
    Huzke Posts: 97 Member
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    The way I see it?

    Focus on you for a while - don't go looking for a relationship, but if something happens naturally, don't turn away from it. You'll often find that the best things happen when you're not looking at all :)

    This.
  • Abrowe313
    Abrowe313 Posts: 189 Member
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    i understand exactly how you feel, just ended an 8 year relationship and im in the process of putting my life back together and the thought of dating anyone is nerve wrecking. just focus on what you need right now and try as hard as you can to better yourself, someone will recognize that and be drawn to you because of it. good luck with everything and keep your head up!
  • KerrieJane86
    KerrieJane86 Posts: 75 Member
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    In the end it really depends on if you are ready. I myself wouldn't rush into anything but if the right lad comes I wouldn't turn him away :)

    I tend to gain a lot of weight in relationships, but I think from now on I know how to control that.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I looked at your profile.

    You are 20 years old. So time is on your side right now.

    You talk about having high standards. That's fine. But you have to see it from the other perspective. If you have high standards, the guy who is your target is also going to have high standards. Part of his high standards is that he's going to want a fit woman.

    If you know what you want, be the woman that the guy you want would want to be with. Given your age, gender and your weight loss goals, taking 6-12 months off from dating and focusing on making yourself externally appealing is not that unreasonable. In the long term, you may be thankful for this.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Having high standards is fine as long you yourself are that standard. Maybe date when you are of the standard you seek yourself.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
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    You are 20 - you have your whole life ahead of you, just take it as it comes. I don't think you need to be in a hurry to meet someone. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, don't worry.

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