a serious cry for help

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SavedByAmazingGrace
SavedByAmazingGrace Posts: 77
in Health and Weight Loss
I thought I could start this weight loss journey the healthy way but I was wrong, after crash dieting for almost 2 years straight my body is just tired. My metabolism is screwed and I don't know how to recover. Guys I've tried to recover and do it the right way for the longest but I fail everytime. I look at pictures of when I was 117 and i break down but I know i did it the wrong way. The problem that i have is that i have trouble with picking a calorie goal. Some say eat this much, other say eat that many, calorie counter give me this number and im lost. I'm 5'2, i weight 130 mt goal is to weight 120 and i work out at least 3 time a week. Can someone please help me out with this like seriously, i don't need the rude negative comment, i realize the damage I've done and now im looking for the right path to go down. I just want to look slim and slender but everytime i workout it seems as of i get "bulky", i know girls can't get bulky but my legs start looking bigger and i just look wider, idk. But please help me, im seriously lost.
my mind is ruined, I just want help
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Replies

  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I thought I could start this weight loss journey the healthy way but I was wrong, after crash dieting for almost 2 years straight my body is just tired. My metabolism is screwed and I don't know how to recover. Guys I've tried to recover and do it the right way for the longest but I fail everytime. I look at pictures of when I was 117 and i break down but I know i did it the wrong way. The problem that i have is that i have trouble with picking a calorie goal. Some say eat this much, other say eat that many, calorie counter give me this number and im lost. I'm 5'2, i weight 130 mt goal is to weight 120 and i work out at least 3 time a week. Can someone please help me out with this like seriously, i don't need the rude negative comment, i realize the damage I've done and now im looking for the right path to go down. I just want to look slim and slender but everytime i workout it seems as of i get "bulky", i know girls can't get bulky but my legs start looking bigger and i just look wider, idk. But please help me, im seriously lost.
    my mind is ruined, I just want help

    Our stats are nearly identical and I eat 1600 a day if I do no activity and up to 1900 when I am running - I have been sick so my typical 4 runs a week has been on the back burner for two weeks. If you are eating 1200 calories a day, you are probably not eating enough. Also, since you have just a little to go, you will lose slowly. I lose about a half pound a week. Check out the calculators at fat2fitradio.com - Military body fat percentage, BMR

    Also, be patient. It can take up to 6 weeks to get your body back to functioning properly.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    forget what other people have told you.

    go here and start reading.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

    read the "sticky" posts at the beginning. they are "sticky" because they are important.

    then ask questions on that group if you don't understand something.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,411 MFP Moderator
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    The only way you can look bulky is if you gain fat, or you have muscle inflammation from exercise. Ideally, you want to do resistance training (to preserve your lean body mass, as muscle is tight and lean) and then some cardio for heart health. But it takes time and you just need to lower your body fat.
  • DJJW
    DJJW Posts: 519 Member
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    You probably only look "bulky" to yourself, it's a problem everyone has since you are stuck in your body, only looking a mirrors or down at yourself, others see you different. I always thought I looked "big boned" but talking to others around me said they label me as really petite. So go figure. I'm 5'4" 130 also, now I'm more working on burning fat, gaining muscle instead of watching the scale. Eating 1200 with no exercise i can lose weight, with exercise i raise it a bit but I don't eat back ALL of my exercise calories, just some. Listen to your body, not your mind. It'll tell ya what it needs.
  • lizzardsm
    lizzardsm Posts: 271 Member
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    yeap. check out helloitsdan's post

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/717565-in-place-of-a-road-map

    he tells you *exactly* how to calculate your proper calorie intake.
  • RitaB19
    RitaB19 Posts: 221 Member
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    I thought I could start this weight loss journey the healthy way but I was wrong, after crash dieting for almost 2 years straight my body is just tired. My metabolism is screwed and I don't know how to recover. Guys I've tried to recover and do it the right way for the longest but I fail everytime. I look at pictures of when I was 117 and i break down but I know i did it the wrong way. The problem that i have is that i have trouble with picking a calorie goal. Some say eat this much, other say eat that many, calorie counter give me this number and im lost. I'm 5'2, i weight 130 mt goal is to weight 120 and i work out at least 3 time a week. Can someone please help me out with this like seriously, i don't need the rude negative comment, i realize the damage I've done and now im looking for the right path to go down. I just want to look slim and slender but everytime i workout it seems as of i get "bulky", i know girls can't get bulky but my legs start looking bigger and i just look wider, idk. But please help me, im seriously lost.
    my mind is ruined, I just want help

    I would love to help you! I also lost over 35 lb.
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
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    I thought I could start this weight loss journey the healthy way but I was wrong, after crash dieting for almost 2 years straight my body is just tired. My metabolism is screwed and I don't know how to recover. Guys I've tried to recover and do it the right way for the longest but I fail everytime. I look at pictures of when I was 117 and i break down but I know i did it the wrong way. The problem that i have is that i have trouble with picking a calorie goal. Some say eat this much, other say eat that many, calorie counter give me this number and im lost. I'm 5'2, i weight 130 mt goal is to weight 120 and i work out at least 3 time a week. Can someone please help me out with this like seriously, i don't need the rude negative comment, i realize the damage I've done and now im looking for the right path to go down. I just want to look slim and slender but everytime i workout it seems as of i get "bulky", i know girls can't get bulky but my legs start looking bigger and i just look wider, idk. But please help me, im seriously lost.
    my mind is ruined, I just want help

    You can try reverse dieting to change up your metabolism. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr0atp9Vo_w)

    The fact that you think your legs look bigger could just be water retention due to working them, or you be crazy?!?!?. You can work your legs with little muscle gains if your not lifting heavy. So you wont put on muscle if your say squatting the bar only instead of squatting 1 plate. If you want to tone up read up on interval training.

    I'm not really sure how you've screwed up your metabolism but you need to find a calorie goal that works for you ... I can't tell you 1500 do that it's obviously not working for you. What I do is I don't try and hit a certain amount per day. What I do is try and stay in the same range per day so anywhere from 1200-1600 if I'm to low one day ... big deal. If I'm to high another day then tomorrow I will just eat a little bit less.

    Regarding the gym and no gains IDK what your doing at the gym so can't really comment. Try going 4 days a week instead of 3 days. If your just hitting the eliptical for 30 mins doing the same resistance and burning the same calories and are not changing a single thing ... time for a change put that thing on level 15 and aim to burn an extra 100 calories....

    There is just some general advice hope something helps you. The video is from a fitness channel regarding reverse dieting check it out to get a quick how to on it.
  • Firefox7275
    Firefox7275 Posts: 2,040 Member
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    The problem with most calculations is that they are a guesstimate based on the information you input - firstly get your weight and bodyfat measured, then calculate your basal metabolism rate from your lean mass. Next be more specific about your activity level - get a pedometer or a heart rate monitor and actually test what you do, use that to calculate your TDEE. Without meaning in any way to be rude saying you work out three times a week is meaningless.

    Women generally don't bulk up easily, however initially your muscles can store more of the fuel glycogen and hence more water so temporarily you might find you seem a little puffier. Persevere and you should slim down. Your Body Mass Index is 24 which is in the healthy range for an adult female, you maybe don't actually need to lose weight but gain muscle and drop fat which will make you slimmer overall.

    If you have crash dieted you probably have not been getting all the nutrients your body needs for health and a strong metabolism - nutritionally this should be your priority not weight loss. Eat all the recommended servings from all the food groups or be sure you are eating a suitable alternative. Fruit and veggies, oily fish, dairy, beans, lentils and so on. If you are not capable of eating healthily then you might be best to seek medical advice - there are many types of disordered eating.
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
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    I came onto this website knowing absolutely nothing of health and fitness. I still know next to nothing. But I put all my info in and I have been working strictly off what mfp said as far as daily calories go. I try to meet them daily, some people try to meet them weekly. I have done very little exercise so far because I just haven't found the energy. I joined in July and I have lost 22 pounds. I think I would have lost more if the holidays had not been a part of the equation. Just do what MFP suggests and most importantly DON'T GIVE UP!!! You can do this. If you do a lot of reading on the forums take it with a grain of salt. I have discovered that a lot of people "know a lot about everything".
  • chantey16
    chantey16 Posts: 27 Member
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    hi hun...since your not overweight or anything, you just seriously need to take this slow! don't have a high deficit at all, then you will lose the weight and tone up nicely at the same time.

    If i was you, I would aim to have a daily calorie deficit of about -250 (aim to lose half a pound a week). Your metabolism should then start to calm down as well and deal with having been in starvation mode.

    So, I don't know your age, so i guessed at 21 and your bmr came out to be 1408, so you should never eat less than this. I don't know what type of work outs you do, but i assumed you to be moderately active, so your daily burn would be around 2182. Therefore, if i was you I would simply eat 1932 calories a day on work out days, and maybe you could eat a little less on non-workout days (around 1600-1800). With this you should lose from 0.5-1 pound per week, whilst toning your body.

    I know there is a lot of conflicting opinions out there, but i personally have tried almost every other way to lose weight and this is the only way that has worked for me :)

    Good luck.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    I have heard the above link being referred to as one of the most accurate and informative methods of calculating your calorie goal. It's working for me.

    That said, everything you have read or calculators you have used are all 'estimates' & 'views'. Choose the one that you feel most comfortable with and stick with it for at least 6 weeks to give your body the time to adjust.

    I agree that you are probably viewing yourself negatively and perhaps you ought to take photos, take measurements as well as weigh yourself for re-assurance.
  • altinker
    altinker Posts: 173
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    Our stats are similar. I'm 5'2", and I'm 122. I like to give myself mini goals. My first goal is 115. My second goal is 110. I try to eat 1200 calories, but that is a little low for me to feel full. I exercise and then eat back some of my exercise cals -- not all though.

    I like weights and don't bulk up with them, but my shoulders can't take the tension from working out with heavy weights. So, I've found something that really helps me tighten up. I like barre exercises. I feel like it pulls everything in. I feel like I've lost an inch in my hips and waist so far after 8 weeks.

    Don't despair. A lot of us are in the same boat with weight. It is hard to know the right way to do it, but starting here and tracking everything is a great start.

    For me, I've kind of lost my way over the years. I lost track of portion control and started to gain a pound a year. That isn't much, but over time, it really adds up. I also thought some of my exercises were burning more calories than they were. I wasn't eating the right composition of food (not enough fiber or vegetables or protein), so I was hungry all the time. All calories really aren't equal when it comes to health and feeling full. That's for sure.

    My journey was to first cut back a little on food. I would lose a pound or two, but that's it. Literally -- a pound or two. Then, I would find some workout I liked and do it. My appetite would increase, and I'd eat like a horse (even though the workout only burned 300 calories or so). So, I'd maintain or gain a pound or two.

    Now, I have a heart rate monitor, and I'm tracking my activities and counting my calories. I'm allowing the folks here to help guide me and inspire me. You can do it!!
  • Babeskeez
    Babeskeez Posts: 606 Member
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    I thought I could start this weight loss journey the healthy way but I was wrong, after crash dieting for almost 2 years straight my body is just tired. My metabolism is screwed and I don't know how to recover. Guys I've tried to recover and do it the right way for the longest but I fail everytime. I look at pictures of when I was 117 and i break down but I know i did it the wrong way. The problem that i have is that i have trouble with picking a calorie goal. Some say eat this much, other say eat that many, calorie counter give me this number and im lost. I'm 5'2, i weight 130 mt goal is to weight 120 and i work out at least 3 time a week. Can someone please help me out with this like seriously, i don't need the rude negative comment, i realize the damage I've done and now im looking for the right path to go down. I just want to look slim and slender but everytime i workout it seems as of i get "bulky", i know girls can't get bulky but my legs start looking bigger and i just look wider, idk. But please help me, im seriously lost.
    my mind is ruined, I just want help

    I am 5 1 and 130. My goal is 115. I hear you. It is hard but you CAN do it. Just persevere. Like everyone else said, we/you dont have a lot to lose and slow and steady wins the race. *hugs*
  • SavedByAmazingGrace
    SavedByAmazingGrace Posts: 77
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    Thank guys, I still looking for a calorie goal, do you think this calorie counter is accurate http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    I thought like two weeks ago you upped you calories? I thought you were doing the eat-more-to lose-weight? Please give it some more time.
  • lin7604
    lin7604 Posts: 3,019 Member
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    http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/ i find this one to be the most accurate.

    I am also 5.2 ft and i started at 142 and am now bouncing between 118-120. took me a year to lose 20 lbs. I started at 1200 cals and it's too low. I kept losing at the same pace up to 1450 cals a day. Right now i am eating min 1400 when not exercising, to 1800 when exercising and still losing at the same pace
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    Thank guys, I still looking for a calorie goal, do you think this calorie counter is accurate http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

    All calorie estimates are just going to be estimates. Pick one and start there. They ought to be really close to each other anyway.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    Maybe you should talk to someone.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Back in Dec. 31st, you got a lot of good advice and I think maybe you should check out Helloitsdan's TDEE link that a couple of posters have posted.

    Also, instead of doing your GW of 117..why not aim for a goal of body fat %? Maybe do a good mix of cardio and weight training and get the body you are happy with regardless of the scale.

    Speaking of the scale - don't rely on it. Rely on measurements.

    I hope that you give yourself 2-3 weeks after adjusting your TDEE to where it should be. And please, pick the correct activity level. Don't pick sedentary just because you think it will make you lose faster.
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    yeap. check out helloitsdan's post

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/717565-in-place-of-a-road-map

    he tells you *exactly* how to calculate your proper calorie intake.

    This. I am 5'!" and I eat my TDEE - 20% = 1056 C. It doesn't seem like much, but with clean eating, no processed foods, no soda, lots of water I do fine. Exercise is my nemesis, but I manage 3 times a week. Good luck.

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