Sticks and stones...

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megananne88
megananne88 Posts: 17
in Motivation and Support
So the old adage sticks and stones...is total crap!!!
I just went shopping with my mom to buy some warm weather clothes (this is my first summer being this big) and she about made me want to cry. It is hard enough to deal with a 30 pound weight gain in 6 months, the last thing I need is my mother making me feel worse about it.
She kept telling me how "huge" everything I put on made me look. And how this is the "fattest" I have ever been by far. This all coming from a size 0 marathon runner to add insult to injury! There is just NO reason she needs to inform me this is the fattest she has ever seen me...news flash mom...I am aware of the situation here.
But back to my point I guess, words really do hurt. All I am trying to do is turn things around and the negativity really makes it hard. I love reading all you guys inpirational stories and being on MFP really has helped! Just needed to vent a little...

Replies

  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
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    Sorry!!! ....My stepdad is the exact same way, only he is overweight himself. Some people just don't have that social switch that allows them to see how things they say will affect people.

    On the brighter side, I have lost 30lbs since January, and the last time my stepdad was at my house, he complimented me on my weight loss. It means so much coming from someone who you know will tell you the absolute truth. Simon Cowell syndrome maybe....??

    Try not to take what she says too hard, you are doing your best right now, and it will pay off!!!
  • cymills
    cymills Posts: 133 Member
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    I would look to go shopping with someone else ! Stay away from negative people!
  • Kirsten2577
    Kirsten2577 Posts: 23 Member
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    So sorry to hear that... My dad my comments after both my pregnancies.... It is hurtful. If you need an ear or suggestions along the way just ask. This is the perfect tool for you! Best of luck!!!
  • byHISstrength
    byHISstrength Posts: 984 Member
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    Sorry to hear...that is very disheartening, especially when it comes from someone so close to you. But I would be honest with your mom (in a respectful way). Let her know how she made you feel. I am a mother, and I want my boys to let me know if I have done something to hurt them.

    Hope everything works out.
  • nicolina823
    nicolina823 Posts: 450 Member
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    I hear you 100% only the mean comments I get come from my BF's 13 year old son who is way over weight. He is 175. Only one pound heavier than I am.

    My closet is in his room. A few weeks ago I was cleaning it out and trying all of my "skinny jeans on" .
    His comment: "Why do you have so many small jeans that you dont wear."

    My answer: "At one time I was a lot smaller and cute"

    His comment: "No, you have always been chubby theres no way you were smaller"

    This Sunday he struck again!

    I forgot how to strap on the wii fit leg strap and said under my breath that my leg must have grew. His reaction from the other room: "Having trouble there? Your leg has always been fat. You must have used an extension to get it on"

    Disrespectful kid + Dieting Girl = Girl who wants to whip chubby step son into shape and teach him some manners!
  • Thaedra
    Thaedra Posts: 52
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    Ugh! When I was pregnant people used to comment on my body all of the time, like it was okay because I was carrying a child! One woman asked me when I was due and when I told her she said "WOW. You're going to be a BIG girl!" She was very heavy herself, and I just wanted to say "Well I do have another person inside of me, what's going on with you?" But I took the high road.
    Recently I was chatting with another woman about my daughter who was two at the time, and she pointed to my tummy and said "And this will be your second?" I told her I wasn't pregnant and then she said "Oh, so you just have a mom body..." WHAT!?!
    These incidents both happened at my work, and after the second one I actually went home crying. And I RARELY cry.
    My point? Try not to let it get to you. I know it's hard, but try to use those negative words as fuel for your fire. I have lost 30 lbs since then, and I am not stopping. I will make those women eat their words! Even though I will probably never see them again, I don't care! I can do this, and so can you!!!
  • Cruzer516
    Cruzer516 Posts: 4
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    I think mothers are just too honest some times and can't help themselves. I still remember when I asked my mom once as a teen if I was pretty and her reply "well you aren't drop dead gorgeous but you are cute." Well how crushing that my own mother didn't find me the best looking! Well, that just made me realize I would just get brutal honesty from her, even if I didn't like it at times. I know it hurts, especially coming from her. Let her know that it bothers you and if she continues then just keep your distance until you can deal with her honesty. When you lose the weight, know she will be quick to let you know about your success as she so quick in pointing out your worst.

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  • delilahthegoddess
    delilahthegoddess Posts: 59
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    Your right words do hurt. I am so sorry your mom said those things to you. I bet they come from her own insecurities about herself. Just be healthy and happy. If your picture is any indication of your size you look very fit to me :) Keep it real. Don't put yourself under unrealistic expectations.

    Sending you support and positive energies :)
  • megananne88
    megananne88 Posts: 17
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    Thanks for all the kind words guys! That is why I love being on MFP!!
  • bksteve26
    bksteve26 Posts: 216 Member
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    Words do definitely hurt. My ex boyfriend and I hung out a little bit after I graduated college (where i put on 40 lbs) and after i turned him down he replied with "well...you got fat". What a little little man. Then when I explained to him that I had actually lost some weight and was almost back to the weight I was in high school (which i was very proud of) he said "oh...well it must just look different then". And then as if he didnt already outdo himself, he pinched the back of my arm to show me the fat on it. This was also done to me by my boss a few times (i worked at a knockoff hooters). My boss being a bald, fat, perverted, *kitten*. So you know what I say...I say stick with the positive people! My family is a great support system. Especially my mother. And to be honest, I don't think I treat her as well as I should with my words so after reading this, I think that might be another goal for me. My friends dont get it and roll their eyes when I talk about weight loss because they've all blown up since high school. So I came here. Just know that you have a place to turn to with people who will support you. Find the positive people and stick with them. And just as someone already said...take their words and fuel your fire! You can do this! Keep it up!
  • Shannoncore
    Shannoncore Posts: 135
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    i know totally what you mean. my exhusband decided it was not "suitable" for his wife to be "plus sized" (keep in mind i am being polite where as he was as rude as you can get) well he decided he wanted a divorce and that was that. well while he was away i busted my butt and dropped just under 100lbs. it was alot of hard work. but it was all worth it when he came back and saw me when i came by to pick up our son for a custody exchange. his jaw hit the floor and i thought he was going to fall over. it was so hilarious. my whole goal the entire time was to make him regret what he threw away. you have to find a goal even if it is just to piss somebody off and prove them wrong.
    good luck and worry more about your weight then his.

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