Coming back!!!

When I first started using myfitness pal, it was my intention to use it as long as I needed to help me lose wieght for my wedding. I was on such a good track and ended up losing about 20lbs with the website with prior losing 38, thats a total of 58.. i was sooo excited!!!.... As my wedding approched, about a month before my wedding I stopped using myfitness pal due to losing so much weight and having to pay for my dress to be altered 3 times due to the weightloss, I didn't have any more money to spend on the changes!! lol

We had an amazing time at both our wedding and honeymoon. Upon coming back to reality, life started again. I got a new job within a month and we moved a month after starting my new job. I tend to be something of a perfectionist when it comes to my job. (Im a case manager for people with disabilities, I help them live as independently as possible in their own homes with PCA help) Starting this new job as a first time supervisor of 6 houses with a range of 2 - 9 pcas in each home I GOT STRESSED and my anxiety went through the roof!!!! There were a few weeks I only ate a tiny dinner and nothing else. About 3 months in I finally was getting the hang of everything, all the crisies in the houses subsided I finaly got really good working in each house and everything was great!! I started eating again and felt life myself again....... Until I stepped on the scale..... It has been 6 months since starting my new job, I gained 15lbs!!! I was upset however not upset like I use to get. I knew what had happened, what I did causing it, and the outside effects that I did not have control of. I was tested to the max with patiences over the past 6 months and just completely let the patiences I had for myself and my body go right out the door. I was upset that I let those 15 pounds creep up so fast and so easliy, however after looking back at what I was going through and what I was letting myself eat without any control, I was pretty happy it was only 15 pounds, as bad as that may sound.

Today though, is a new day! I am finally back to my base line with my anxiety and stress that I feel I can now focus on me and my life again. My ultimate goal weight it 150lbs. I want to be healthy though, so even if I am healthy and not quite at 150 I will be very happy. I want to have children, which financially we can in no way have them yet, however a goal for myself to actually look pregnant is something I can go right now. I want to be able to notice a pregnant belly and know that what I am eating and doing to my body is whats absolute best for the little one growing inside me. I want to be ready for when that time comes to teach my child the healthy eating and exercise habits that I was never taught.

I want to be happy.
I want to be healthy.
I want to feel beautiful.
I was to be the person that I want to be....just me.

Wiht all that set... I need HELP!!! I need that constant push in the begining, be held accountable for that I am doing/not doing. I had the motivation of my wedding and everyone looking at me to lose those initial 55 pounds. Now I need help keeping the moviation to get to my ultimate goal for my 1 year anniversary!! It is possible, even possible doing it the healthy way... I just need that help to keep going when I want to give up. I need that extra push to making healthy choices.

So here is to the start to a new journey... this journey is going to be called......ME!