losing momentum and requesting support please

merzback
merzback Posts: 453 Member
in Motivation and Support
I always start off gung ho. I always start to lose momentum around 3 weeks into it- I am now 3 weeks into it. I have a lot of stressors right now.... which is a huge trigger for me.

I have been unemployed since October. I was offered a job but it was 55 miles away and I decided not to take it because if I took it, I'd have to work a 2nd job just to pay for gasoline. I was also offered a per diem job with no benefits which I am taking but it won't solve my financial issues unless I can find more work. I am a social worker with 21 years experience. I feel guilty for not taking the job 55 miles away. If I took it, I'd be commuting an over an hour each way and the hours were 8-5. That means I would have been working/commuting 12 hours at least a day plus a 2nd job.

I don't want that for myself at this point of my life.

When I am stressed, I just want to eat and sleep. I've been sleeping more than usual and not eating perfect but still hanging in. I don't want to look back when the clock hits 2014 and think what I could have done. I need to do it now.

I had all these goals in the beginning of the year that now just seem like far fetched dreams. I want to write a book on dieting myths, I wanted to focus more on creating a fitness career. Every time I want to work on it, I think that I have no business doing it and my inner voice stops me. I know I have to work past that inner voice.

Thank you for allowing me to vent!

Quitting is not an option.

Replies

  • imthejenjen
    imthejenjen Posts: 265 Member
    I am like you... After about 3 weeks, I get unmotivated. For me, what works, is when I am very unmotivated or dont feel like working out, I just go through the motions and dont spend too much time thinking about exercising. I just get up, put my walking shoes on, strap on my hrm and push play on my 30Day Shred. I don't feel like I'm into the workout, but I just do it. Like today for example, I realllllly dont feel like doing my shred, but once I am done responding, I'm gonna get my stuff on ad just start it. I'm miserable while I'm working out, but after I feel 10x times better and I've reduced my stress. Quitting is not an option, although sometimes, I do fantasize about it, lol. Youre doing wonderful.

    About the 55miles away job. I think you made the right choice. I worked about 60 miles away, i made 1600/month and 800 (yes 800!) went to my gas. I was working full time, getting part time pay!! It reallllly sucked and completely wore me out.
  • queenbear5
    queenbear5 Posts: 76 Member
    It might help to re-read the about me and why sections of your profile. I just did and it seems to me you have better reasons to work at this than most people. You can do this, and you'll be glad that you did.
  • FLYing2011
    FLYing2011 Posts: 7 Member
    Seems to me working per deim may give you the time you need to focus on your other aspirations. I never look at a closed door as something that I need to fix. Sometimes closed doors are there to guide you in the right direction and thus are closed for a reason. If the perfect job is 55 miles away and you would have to "kill" yourself driving and working a 2nd job to keep it, then in my mind it's not the perfect job. No guilt necessary. Instead of worrying get to working on writing that book and creating that fitness career. Who knows...it just may solve your financial issues and give you the momentum that you are looking for...just a thought.
  • tauress26
    tauress26 Posts: 9
    Hang in there! Last year I went through my divorce and it was an absolute mess. There were so many ridiculous things that happened in the process that would make a daytime soap opera look boring, but what I loved about working out was that it kept me in control. I was getting fit and eating right and it made me feel so good about myself. There are so many challenges in life but when you can find that one thing that keeps you in the drivers seat, it keeps moral up. Don't get discouraged my friend!
  • Chicagolopez
    Chicagolopez Posts: 39 Member
    I think you have to see that habits are very hard to break, then you really are going in for some heavy negative self talk. I started Dec 1 with my list of 12 goals; one goal was to go workout everyday but I could not do it then on Dec 26 I started my streak and have hit 18 days out of 20.

    Habits are hard to break but you really don't have to listen to your brain. Read the Power of Habit. We all need encouragement right now I am ok but I discovered my new resolutions from last year and they were quickly forgotten. I commend you for still trying. Today is the day start today.
  • hmadrone
    hmadrone Posts: 129 Member
    Oh, I'm in exactly the same place! We can do this together.

    I sprained my hand last week, which has made a lot of things more difficult (including every kind of exercise except walking). That was discouraging, but I'm trying to keep with my program minute by minute.

    Every time you walk away from a cookie or a handful of chips, you should congratulate yourself. Congratulate yourself as well if you only take a small handful and then close the bag and put it away. Congratulate yourself when you motivate yourself to work out. Congratulate yourself when you drink your water. Each little thing that you do for yourself is worthy of a pat on the back and an attagirl!
  • happypath101
    happypath101 Posts: 534
    Good for you for not taking the path you knew wouldn't work for you. If you're like me, making decisions like that is totally draining. I'm under a huge amount of stress right now too. My motivation is waning, but most my energy level is waning. What works for me is to keep moving, but allow myself to move slower. I'm doing a LOT of walking. I might do some pilates or yoga. But, I might take a long, hot bath and hit the sack early. I also find tackling really small, but satisfying, chores is helpful. Clean out a closet or a drawer, do a small inexpensive craft, repair something broken. You may not burn a tonne of calories, but you'll keep active and positive. You can do it!

    And - everything the lady above me said. :O)
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Don't feel guilty for not taking a job you know perfectly well you won't be able to hold up under. You'd feel more guilty if you had taken it and couldn't do it properly because the commute and financial strain is so terrible.

    Now you have some free time, why feel guilty for that when you can use it to get healthy and then get back out into the work world? Now is your time to work on your health. Don't sleep and eat it away!
  • rabidrabbott
    rabidrabbott Posts: 4 Member
    Don't give up! If you need motivation just remember that exercise is great for reducing stress. You just have to push past it. Sticking to your diet/exercise will start paying off and you'll see results. This will become your motivation. Seeing a more fit you will make you happy, and that vibe will be picked up by others at say job interviews. You can do anything you put your mind to. It will take some work. Some days will be tougher than others, but nothing good comes easy. I wish you luck and I hope you stick with it!
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member
    I always start off gung ho. I always start to lose momentum around 3 weeks into it- I am now 3 weeks into it. I have a lot of stressors right now.... which is a huge trigger for me.

    some things that help me:

    regards starting gung ho... I try not to do this (and I do tend to be a gung ho kind of person at times) - but if you run out of enthusiasm (as we all do at some point) then what is going to keep you going? I focus on making changes that I know I can stick to, and then build this up over time. It takes 21 days to form a habit, so I try to make these new changes into a habit, like doing exercise, eating specific healthy meals, tracking my food (not been doing that recently as I'm maintaining, but when I was losing the fat I did) and so on... build them up as habits that will stick, and that you don't need willpower and enthusiasm to stick to. I have found that as I've built up one habit, others follow on, so it started with small changes and ended up in big changes that don't seem difficult, because I've built them into my life.

    Another thing is to be careful of how I talk about myself.... in the above sentence you say "I always start to lose momentum around 3 weeks into it - I am now 3 weeks into it" - this reads like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So much of what we say to ourselves can become a self fulfilling prophecy. Say something different. it may sound like mumbo jumbo but it's based on psychology research that's published in journals, and it's based on how the subconscious mind works. Basically whatever you say to/about yourself, your subconscious mind takes this as instructions. So by saying "I always screw up around week three" your subconscious reads that as "I must screw up when we get to week 3" - you need to write positive affirmations that give your subconscious different instructions, especially during week 3. maybe something like "I am in the habit of doing this. I like doing this, it is fun. I feel so much better now I am doing this" (doing this being whatever goal you want to achieve, e.g. sticking to an exercise routine, eating more healthy etc). Another piece of advice about self talk is basically if you wouldn't say it to your friend, don't say it to/about yourself either.

    Setting goals helps me to stick with the healthy lifestyle I want for myself. Seeing yourself achieving your goal helps you to stick with whatever you have to do to get there.

    Finally, avoiding deprivation really helps me. I'm the kind of person who wants to eat what I'm not supposed to have. So I don't deprive myself of any food, if it's not healthy, then I have it less often in smaller quantities.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    I have started over so many times I've lost count. This time, I don't have any major goals other than to just keep going. I'm in week four of a running program in addition to MFP and my scale hasn't budged. Normally this would be my quittin' time, but I, like you, have a TON going on in my life right now. I look forward to that little sliver of time that I make to work out because it's the only thing in my entire day this is mine and mine alone. I am at the point where I don't even care what the scale says, I'm not gonna quit. The time is going to pass whether you are making positive changes in your life or not. Make the most of it. And while I haven't lost a pound I DO notice a little more definition in my quads, a teeny bit less padding around my middle, and a little more energy. That's enough for me right now.

    Make small goals. They're more attainable. You'll probably hear that 186 more times in this thread ;) Good luck and remember its a marathon, not a sprint.
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member

    Every time you walk away from a cookie or a handful of chips, you should congratulate yourself. Congratulate yourself as well if you only take a small handful and then close the bag and put it away. Congratulate yourself when you motivate yourself to work out. Congratulate yourself when you drink your water. Each little thing that you do for yourself is worthy of a pat on the back and an attagirl!

    For someone who seems to fail so often this is so positive and encouraging. Sometimes it's just so much easier to despair with ourselves when we fail but this reminds us that we should sometimes just focus on, and remember to celebrate, even the little things that we do. Thank you for these words that encourage us to be kind to ourselves x
  • merzback
    merzback Posts: 453 Member
    Thanks everyone!!!! I appreciate it a lot :)

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