WHY?

fireballaaa
fireballaaa Posts: 69 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why are somepeople treated differantly than other's? I have worked for the same company for 17 years always giving money to those who need it. surgurys , deaths, births whatever the occasion.
But when I had surgery 5 years ago I had heart surgery and no one even called me to check on me the only call I got was my supervisor and i started telling her how I was and she stated I'm not calling to check on you i just want to know when your coming back. i was extremely hurt but didn' t let on. Thought when I got back I would have get well cards money took up for me but nothing. Hurt again.
Recently I lost my Dad and I am having a hard time over this. One card when I got back no money collected at all. Most people didn't even say they were sorry or anything so I told a few about losing my dad yes i knew about it they would say.. so I just let it go. Until today, today I was hurt the most. I found out another people I worked closely with lost their dad the same Time I did. and they took up a large donation for him and the kicker is he don't work here anymore they said they were worried about him since he was an only child. i was treated like I don't even exsist. another girl I work with last week had surgery and she herself never said anything about my dad etc... but she is getting get well cards etc.. people calling to check on her. I am a christian don't cause any trouble with no one i pretty much let everyone walk all over me. Right now I just am mad at the world. i have cried all day and can't seem to be albe to stop... I hope someone understands the way I feel.. I can't talk to know one else what it the point no one cares.

Replies

  • shortchange1
    shortchange1 Posts: 146 Member
    I don't have any reason to explain the lameness of your co-workers, but I am offering my condolences on the loss of your father.

    As for your co-workers, they're just being passive/aggressive bullies!

    Keep your chin up and know that you, at least, live by the golden rule.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    As to why some people are more popular than other people, who knows. You deserve the same as anybody else.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. :-(

    (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

    Your co-workers... Well, I can't think of anything nice to say about them. :-(
  • fireballaaa
    fireballaaa Posts: 69 Member
    Thank you very much You are very kind person.

    God Bless
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    people today are total idiots. Most are wrapped up in their own lives or computers. Hoe your doing well!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Maybe they feel that you have your life together and you don't really need support at work? I have no idea, just offering a thought.
  • jlemoore
    jlemoore Posts: 702 Member
    I am sorry to hear about your father. Loosing a parent is hard. I am sorry that your coworkers are not treating you equally.

    I don't know if this helps... and I am not making excuses for them. But perhaps they see you as a strong individual who doesn't need coddling. Or perhaps they see you as a private indivdual who doesn't want them meddling.
  • noelkm67
    noelkm67 Posts: 118
    I remember my own father's death a few years ago and how difficult it was. I am so very sorry for your loss. If I was your coworker I would have offered to bring meals, run errands, whatever you need.

    Those are just a few people in your office. You have a whole other world of people, strangers even! - who want to support you.

    It may sound silly, but I would like to send you a card if you will send me your name and address to: noelkm67@gmail.com

    Big hugs to you.

    Michelle
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    You can't take it personally. Most people really only think about themselves, and maybe the other person requested donations of some sort. Just ignore it. Rarely is there a person who will take it upon themselves to do nice things for others.

    My boyfriend's mother passed away last January and he was nearly fired for taking off three days to be with her while she passed/for the funeral. They brought up him "missing days" from work for a really long time afterwards, especially while he was being considered for a promotion.
  • sportyredhead01
    sportyredhead01 Posts: 482 Member
    I'm sorry for your loss.
    Mean people suck.

    :flowerforyou:
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    They are co-workers, it ends there.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    I do not understand why people are the way they are. I cannot even begin to describe it. But... I know exactly how you feel. With my past employer, I was treated the same way. There was no incident exactly like yours, but, I know of one other lady that was treated like an outsider like me... which was treated the exact same way as you. Both me and her were always treated like outsiders. With me, it was just constant complaining on how I wasn't good enough. The bosses were constantly ridiculing me for not dressing nice enough, not wearing makeup, being overweight, etc.... With the other lady, they were constantly complaining about the fact that her mother was sick, and she was the only one that could take care of her. When her mother did die, they never even sent her any condolences.

    Again... I do not know why people are this way. All I know is that we are the ones that are better off... because we do actually care about others.

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I pray you find the comfort your need at this time.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Try to look at it this way; They don't think you need help. They obviously feel you are strong enough to take care of yourself.

    I know you want to think: They hate me.

    But don't. Just don't. Put that aside and convince yourself that their lack of attention merely stems from the fact that they respect you and feel you have it together and don't need assistance.

    They suck, btw, but be stronger than them. One day the tables will turn and they'll get a taste of their own medicine.
  • fireballaaa
    fireballaaa Posts: 69 Member
    You all have been awesome and I do appriecate your kind words May God always bless each and everyone of you.

    God Bless
    Theresa
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    oh i am sorry.
  • jeanine89
    jeanine89 Posts: 95 Member
    When people do things like this to me I finally relized that I come across as a strong person and it might not be they dont care but they think of you as strong because you dont give them a reason to think other wise. Think of it as a compliment hold your head up high you are amazing.
  • imfivebyfive
    imfivebyfive Posts: 104
    I'm not sure why you even care what your co-workers think. It's a job, not a social club.

    You are there to do a job, make money and go home. Being professional is about focusing on the job and setting personal stuff aside.

    It's also very likely that your co-workers are so busy themselves that they didn't sit around and contemplate who was getting more attention and gifts.

    Your upset over your boss calling but it's her job to make sure work gets done so you still have a job. Seriously.

    Family and friends should support your personal life. Co-workers your professional life.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I'm not sure why you even care what your co-workers think. It's a job, not a social club.

    You are there to do a job, make money and go home. Being professional is about focusing on the job and setting personal stuff aside.

    It's also very likely that your co-workers are so busy themselves that they didn't sit around and contemplate who was getting more attention and gifts.

    Your upset over your boss calling but it's her job to make sure work gets done so you still have a job. Seriously.

    Family and friends should support your personal life. Co-workers your professional life.

    While I agree with your points I do think it's unprofessional for a work place to give special treatment to some employees and not others. If we're handing out 'get well' cards to one employee, we should hand them out to them all. If we're taking money collections to help one coworker who is struggling, we should do it for them all.

    It's unprofessional to expect special treatment BUT it's equally unprofessional for this workplace to be singling out who gets treated like part of the 'team' and who doesn't.

    I suspect there is some favoritism going on here. I've seen it in my own workplaces many times. People make friends outside of work and they bring that into the workplace. Sometimes the supervisor is friends with this employee or that so they insist baby showers, gifts and cards are distributed to their 'friends' but then other employees get ignored. It's not professional and not right.

    Personally I feel get well cards and monetary gifts should NOT be happening in the workplace AT ALL. I don't care how friendly you are with your coworkers, it just shouldn't happen.
  • fireballaaa
    fireballaaa Posts: 69 Member
    Thank you al for your support/ my coworkers are my only friends I have since I moved here from ohio. but now I know I have no friends. I have more friends here mfp than anywhere else.

    God Bless you all
  • cleanjerksnatch
    cleanjerksnatch Posts: 36
    I am a christian don't cause any trouble with no one i pretty much let everyone walk all over me.

    When you are going through tribulations, then tribulate!
    Persevere.
  • fireballaaa
    fireballaaa Posts: 69 Member
    Thanks to all of you for your help. i do feel much better today.. i guess I was just feeling sorry for myself and with my emotions so raw I took it harder than I should have, i should be used to it by now.

    God Bless all of you

    Theresa

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