Don't know where else to turn.

Kitkat1993x
Kitkat1993x Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
I've suffered with Depression for 11 years now.
Chronic Depression, on and off, they call it.
I have Anorexia and that doesn't help the Depression.
But I'm caught in a spiral right now.
Going down

Down

Down.


Haven't slept at night for almost a week.
I'm exhausted.
I can't stop crying.
I'm so depressed I haven't left my room for 8 days.
I can't leave my bed.
I forget to feed my animals.
I'm not looking after my basic needs.
My meds aren't working due to no food so I feel crap.
I hate myself, I hate my life. I need help and can't do it alone.
I need out. I need a hug I need anything seriously.
I'm just sat here crying and rocking and I can't breathe.

Take me out of my own head.
Please?

Replies

  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    im so sorry sweetie. you need to talk to someone who loves you and get some help. life is worth living but of course its hard. there are people who would miss you if you dont take care of yourself.
  • LondonEliza
    LondonEliza Posts: 456 Member
    Go to your doctor.

    There is no one on the internet that can help you - You need real life help.

    If your doctor is closed, call a friend, relative, neighbor that can be with you until you can go to your doctor.

    If this is a real life cry for help, you need real life people to help you - get off the internet and find someone.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    First of all, please talk to a therapist.
    I'm sorry you feel this way, it's not totally foreign.


    Please try to look at the good. For every negative you just listed... list one thing you are doing right. Have both lists ready for the therapist.
    Use MFP to make certain you HIT your macros. And that doesn't mean going under.
  • chellebublz
    chellebublz Posts: 568 Member
    *virtual hugs*

    Now go forth and find someone who can help you. As previously stated, if your doctor is closed, get to the ER asap! Ask someone to go along for support if you want.
  • 91lowharley
    91lowharley Posts: 22 Member
    I'm sure there a lot of people that care and love you BUT YOU have to love yourself first. I'm hope that all goes well for you. Seven years is a very long time. I'll say a prayer for you.
  • believe22
    believe22 Posts: 210 Member
    I don't know exactly what to say, I've never had a way with words, but I'm sorry youre dealing with all this. I truly hope you can find someone who can help you so you can see the beauty in your life.
  • eyeshuh
    eyeshuh Posts: 333
    Please seek help. If you are too uncomfortable to speak to a doctor, these people may be able to do something for you: http://www.anad.org/get-help/helpline-email/
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
    You are an awesome and strong woman for reaching out and asking for some encouragement. Being honest is the beginning. I hope you have some professionals in your corner that you trust and can help you. Call them. Please. If you don't have someone like that, use a hot line. This is one: 1-800-273-TALK from: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

    Know that you are worth whatever effort it takes to get well. I am in your corner and so are many others if you let them in.
    Hugs, Ani
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    God I have been there. It's miserable. Is there anyone that you am call just come be with you until you can get some help? Or anyone that can take you to an emergency room? You will get through this. But you have to get help now.
  • treagal
    treagal Posts: 264 Member
    Go check yourself into a hospital, or go stay with someone.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    I'm sure there a lot of people that care and love you BUT YOU have to love yourself first. I'm hope that all goes well for you. Seven years is a very long time. I'll say a prayer for you.
    Clinical depression has nothing to due with not loving yourself. It has to do with a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's like telling a diabetic to 'snap out of it'. I know you didn't mean anything by this but I want to make sure the OP knows its not something she can just fix with positive thinking. It's a serious medical condition that requires professional treatment.
  • altinker
    altinker Posts: 173
    1-800-273-8255 is a suicide prevention hotline.

    You can also call prayer hotlines for some intervention as well. 1-800-NOW-PRAY has 24 hour support.

    The Internet has tons of helpful sites. I've always found that when I am in need of help or healing, I find a prayer site and I pray for other people. I always feel better.
  • Cherbear67
    Cherbear67 Posts: 245 Member
    awe honey.. Strange that I would see this.. I just posted the moods I have been in lately and been flipping out over everything and been in damage mode.. I look over to my right and see this post in the forums.. Wish I could help.. Sending you hugs..
  • MichelleZannone
    MichelleZannone Posts: 121
    Kitkat... I too have suffered from depression in the past and every once in a while I fall back in. But thing's usually have a way of working them selves out. Just because today is a bad day doesn't mean tomorrow has to be. Know that your pet's depend on only you to take care of them and they love you with out judgement. Please call someone to talk to tonight there are help line's for depression and PLEASE seek medical attention asap. Good luck to you honey and know that there are people who care..
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Sometimes it is simply nice to have somewhere to vent. Somewhere where you can let it out in the open and just let it be known.

    I understand some people get uncomfortable with such things, and some may think it completely inappropriate. But, we do what we need to in order to live through the down times.

    Clinical depression is a significant problem. It is not simply the idea that you are "sad" it is that your body has gotten messed up and can longer be happy. The default setting is "sad" when it normally would be content. This is a chemical imbalance problem that is usually alleviated with some sort of medication.

    You've mentioned you take medications, but that they are not working due to lack of food. The first suggestion I'd have is to eat then. Do not look at food as anything more than necessary fuel.

    Definitely talk to your doctor about this. If something triggers you not eating, and thus making your medications no longer work, then you need to figure out what that is and fix it.
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
    God I have been there. It's miserable. Is there anyone that you am call just come be with you until you can get some help? Or anyone that can take you to an emergency room? You will get through this. But you have to get help now.
  • m1311
    m1311 Posts: 103 Member
    Pick two or three of the pieces of advice to follow. Make one of them calling someone who will help you keep yourself safe, and please post here every few hours when you're up.
  • OutsideCreativ
    OutsideCreativ Posts: 143 Member
    If you need someone to talk to immediately, but don't have anyone nearby, try one of these numbers.
    1-800-273-8255 is a suicide prevention hotline.

    You can also call prayer hotlines for some intervention as well. 1-800-NOW-PRAY has 24 hour support.


    If you can wait until tomorrow, make an appointment with a counselor, therapist or clergy. I've been to a counselor several times over the years and it does help-- if only to talk it all out, with someone completely objective, who can help you get headed in the right direction. I'm sure others can vouch for that too.
  • CMMia17
    CMMia17 Posts: 42 Member
    Hey sweaty. You have already made the first steps to getting some help. Please contact a counselor. Here is a website from the American Counseling Association:

    http://www.nbcc.org/CounselorFind

    The ACA is basically the mother of counseling associations. All counselors listed are certified. Which means they have been trained for this. Please be aware there is nothing to feel anxious or scared in contacting a counselor for help. A counselor is supposed to be a welcoming, non-judgmental person that is there to help you and your information is confidential. If you somehow feel uncomfortable and just don’t seem to “click,” with your counselor, search for another one. There will be someone else that you may, “click” with. It would be helpful to journal everything your feeling so you can go back and see what was going on in your mind. You can also discuss this with the counselor as well.

    If you’re feeling suicide please contact the http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
    You can also got the hospital or call the cops and explain that you want to hurt yourself anf they will assist in escorting you to the proper facility.

    If you ever want to write me, send me an email. I’m not an expert, but you’re more than welcome to vent, but still look for the proper help.
  • bdelaney001
    bdelaney001 Posts: 20
    Treat your mental heath emergency like you would a heart attack. Go to the emergency room and let them know you need safe place to be and get your bearings. There are people that care and can help you.
  • AdamFaris
    AdamFaris Posts: 10
    Call one of the numbers tonight. It doesn't require any official appointments or commitments. Just a person to talk to. And then follow through with some additional support going forward. There's nothing wrong with who you are. Yes you have some serious issues causing your problems, but those issues can be addressed. There is help available. Please use it.
  • jessicamsantiago
    jessicamsantiago Posts: 1
    Hey there,

    I came across your post quite by accident. This is the first time I've commented on anything in any of these forums. I am super new to this, but I felt connected to your post and could not just keep browsing. I can completely relate to absolutely everything you wrote in that post. I have felt all of those same feelings - well maybe not exactly the same because we are all so unique and individual. I've suffered from depression for half of my life. Almost every woman in my family has some form of mental illness. I get it. I do. Please talk to your doctor, and perhaps see what he or she can do about managing your medication a little differently. Talk to someone, and reach out. I can feel your passion through the few words that you wrote, and you are obviously a very special someone to have that kind of heart and courage to put yourself out there like that.

    I began studying buddhism and meditation for a more holistic approach, and it made a world of difference - but that was me, and you are you. I don't know you, but I promise I will be thinking of you and hoping that your tomorrow is a little bit sunnier. Things really do get better. I promise.

    I have a website that I administer that I created for the sole purpose of having a safe place online to visit. There are tons of resources there as well. Come visit.

    http://www.kickithereforkindness.com/
  • Redbird99ky
    Redbird99ky Posts: 305 Member
    Go to your doctor.

    There is no one on the internet that can help you - You need real life help.

    If your doctor is closed, call a friend, relative, neighbor that can be with you until you can go to your doctor.

    If this is a real life cry for help, you need real life people to help you - get off the internet and find someone.

    ^^^^ABSOLUTELY!!! Having been there with depression, I know that the Internet is a way for us to mistakenly believe that we are NOT isolating, when in fact we are doing just that. Get to a doctor or call a crisis hotline. Please. I will be praying for your recovery.
  • Kitkat1993x
    Kitkat1993x Posts: 4
    You're all ABSOLUTELY amazing people, and every single one of your comments/replies have been taken on board.
    I have 2 professionals involved in my care, and a very willing GP (who happens to be away on Wednesdays) to help.
    I'm really struggling tonight and it's a new feeling to 'cry' for hours like this for me.

    I'm seeing my support worker in 5 hours. I have to hold on til then.
    I've stopped crying now and am just sat here numb.
    I hate feeling like this, thank you for all praying for me and trying to help.
    I'm sorry I moan a lot. I just literally didn't know what else to do.

    Thank you all,

    Kat <3 xxxxxx
  • Kimlroach
    Kimlroach Posts: 2
    I will say a prayer for you tonight. Try to get some sleep, it may help.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I hope you are getting help.

    When it gets so bad for me. I go run. I'm not saying its what you should do, Just what I do to cope.
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
    I've struggled with depression myself, it's horrible, but there is hope! Medication and therapy has worked for me over the years. There's a way out of your illness, just hang in there. You are not alone. I'm sp glad you are getting help...I will be praying for you. :flowerforyou:
  • Kitkat1993x
    Kitkat1993x Posts: 4
    UPDATE;

    I got my support worker out this morning.
    She's gone back to talk to her team about further action. I'm scared. She knows I want to let it win. She knows everything.
    I just burst into tears and told her.

    Thank you for all your support, hope and prayers.

    xxxxx

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