When I ask for advice, why do you need to see my diary?

lwright311
lwright311 Posts: 69 Member
edited January 10 in Motivation and Support
I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?
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Replies

  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Am I being too sensitive or is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    Both.
  • tpt1950
    tpt1950 Posts: 292 Member
    You don't have to give anyone any information you don't want to ~ but, you are being too sensitive in that the main reason they are asking to see your diary is to give you advice on that aspect (diet) which directly effects all other aspects of losing weight. You are the one asking for advice and in forums such as this it's natural to assume people would want to see all the information to be able to give you the best answer they can - they only trying to get the whole picture in order to help. Don't worry about it and do whatever you want to do (show diary or not) and don't take it personally. Good luck in your endeavors - You can do it!!!
  • Spiritwarrior3000
    Spiritwarrior3000 Posts: 322 Member
    Both but you dont have to have your diary open to everyone just your friends :drinker: But its your choice whatever you feels right for you!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    If you're too sensitive, don't share your diary, but realize that without all that information, people can't be specific in their advice.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    1) Many people who post questions about their diet are simply undereating. Having an open diary helps people rule that out. If you are posting what your goal and ability to reach that is, then you can promptly tell those people to screw off.

    2) Lots of macro people here. A lot of us lose the weight via portion control and calories-calories out. But depending on what you are trying to do, though (well-built lifting and certain medical issues) - having specific foods/nutrients in your diet can be very important.

    3) My diary is only open to friends, as I don't feel comfortable with the masses of strangers knowing exactly what I eat, either. You can always ask your friends what you should be doing diet-wise.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,050 Member
    If one is forth coming about their intake of calories and is meeting their macro/micro nutrient content, then there really is no need to see the diary. Most ask because for some reason they believe that eating any processed foods is taboo and want to point it out in your diary as the reason you aren't achieving.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    depends on what advice you are asking for
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    When you ask for advice with a question like "I am no longer losing weight. Is it because of a, b, or c" people can't give you advice because they don't have any information to work with. That's like talking to a blind person about the landscape.
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    I don't think they mean any harm and just want to help. I really don't think it is just to ogle your daily eating habits. If you are not comfortable then you shouldn't have to share.
  • Daysednconfused
    Daysednconfused Posts: 975 Member
    depends on what advice you are asking for

    ^^ This.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    People want to see what you're eating, so they can offer advice. That's it. A lot of times people think they're eating healthy when they're not.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Depending on the question you are asking, without an open diary it is kind like me saying 'My car stalled this morning. Can anyone tell me why?'

    There are multiple reasons why my car stalled. I could have run out of gas, have a faulty part, etc. I haven't given enough information.

    MOST people are asking for that additional information with good intentions. They want to understand the full picture to give you advice, otherwise it can be pretty generic and may not fit your needs at all.
  • ashmorgstraws
    ashmorgstraws Posts: 157
    Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    It's both. It's your choice whether or not to open your diary for the world to see. That's up to you. But when you ask a question about something, people are simply asking you to open it so that they can give you the best advice possible. It's not that they're asking to peek into your private life :) You don't have to open it - that's all up to you. :) I have mine open to friends only - that way if I have a question I can ask my friends.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    Data Data Data.

    It's really for your benefit. The more data people have, the better advice they can give. If you want advice that's based on limited information, it will be of limited utility.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    If you're too sensitive, don't share your diary, but realize that without all that information, people can't be specific in their advice.

    This.

    Diet is the singular most importart part of being healthy and gaining/losing weight. If you ask a question and have your diary closed, people can only make assumptions and give fairly generic advice.

    It would be like going to the doctor and saying you don't feel well, but not letting him listen to your lungs or take your temperature.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    Because diet is the only thing that matters when you are losing weight
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    When someone post a question, I look at their diary first to see how much they are eating and how much exercise daily. Second, I look at their sodium intake. That can cause weight issues. Otherwise, I could care less about looking at anyone's diary. There is usually no malcontent behind it.
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
    In order to get good advice, those seeking it need to provide those giving it with as much background as possible. Nobody actually gives a flying fart on high wind what you're eating, but weight loss questions are frequently answered by diet answers.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    if someone asks for advice and we need more information before we can give you a proper answer, we will ask for access to that info so we can help.

    We wont offer any advice without all the facts.

    because that can be dangerous.

    Some people on this site care about giving good/proper advice to someone legitimately asking for help, rather than to just throw some generic blunt piece of science at you, or just holding your hand and giving you puss in boots face and telling you to do better tomorrow.

    Those that ask, are asking because they actually want to help you not have such and such problem anymore.

    Sorry to be so invasive.

    edited for spelling
  • LLaceFace
    LLaceFace Posts: 101 Member
    I know it is difficult to share private information but I do believe that the people asking to see your diary or telling you they need to to give you advice are only trying to help and not really interested in creeping on what you're eating all the time. Just as if you we're to ask anyone for help, they would need details on the situation or problem in order to give you constructive information. I could give you advice without seeing your diary yes, but the advice may not be the right advice for your situation and therefore it would be worthless.

    Try to remember what you are here for... Most people do just want to help :)
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    mine is private.
  • KristyHumphrey
    KristyHumphrey Posts: 248 Member
    I didn't show my diary when i started either but i finally am sharing it and it does help-helps keep more accountable. Its hard to help people if you don't have all the facts :)
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    I'd like to see your diary before I answer this question.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Recently you asked about a plateau. A perfect example of when folks might want to see your diary. (To offer suggestions like: eat more, or eat less, or add more protein).

    fwiw, I consider myself private too, which is why I have no photo, nor personal comments about my family and husband. But if I ask for advice, I'll either ask my MFP friends, who can see my diary, or open it briefly for all to see.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    You don't have to give anyone any information you don't want to ~ but, you are being too sensitive in that the main reason they are asking to see your diary is to give you advice on that aspect (diet) which directly effects all other aspects of losing weight. You are the one asking for advice and in forums such as this it's natural to assume people would want to see all the information to be able to give you the best answer they can - they only trying to get the whole picture in order to help. Don't worry about it and do whatever you want to do (show diary or not) and don't take it personally. Good luck in your endeavors - You can do it!!!

    This^^
  • mruntidy
    mruntidy Posts: 1,015 Member
    Imagine it like a car, you're driving along and it starts rattling, you take it to a garage and the mechanic says can I take a look under the hood, you say no, so the potential problem can't be diagnosed only speculated and might never be rectified

    Similarly though, advice, like revenge, is a dish best served cold. Just remember you aren't always going to like what you hear but sometimes it is in your best interests to hear it. The majority of people aren't on here to kick you when you're down, they're here to help you to your feet.
  • babyblooz
    babyblooz Posts: 220 Member
    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    I'd like to see your diary before I answer this question.

    :laugh:
  • ipw133
    ipw133 Posts: 13 Member
    Advice is based on facts/observations. If you want generic advice that may not help you - then keep your data private. if you want focused information that is personally tailored to your needs (and question) - then give the information sought.

    It's your choice.
  • alexroet
    alexroet Posts: 65 Member
    I agree with everyone else- if you don't want to share, don't- but, depending on what you're asking, sometimes it's hard to answer without knowing what you're dealing with.

    And- if you're eating in a way that you're ok with and proud of, what's to hide? Do you know what I mean? In other words, if you don't have anything to hide, why do you need to hide it? Could it be that deep down you know you're not eating 'right' and you don't want people to see? if that's the case, if you yourself know you're not doing what you could/should- then you have the answer to your question right there.

    I don't mean that to attack you- just that we usually know in our gut what's wrong.

    My diary is open to friends, but frankly I've been terrible lately, eating lots of chocolate, etc- and so I haven't been closing my days out and publishing them, because I KNOW I don't need to eat chocolate etc, and don't want a lecture. But when I'm on track and doing well, I don't care if people know what I eat.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I started out with my diary set to private, then I allowed my friends to look, now it's public. I have had no food stalkers whatsoever.
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