When I ask for advice, why do you need to see my diary?

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2

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  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    mine is private.
  • KristyHumphrey
    KristyHumphrey Posts: 248 Member
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    I didn't show my diary when i started either but i finally am sharing it and it does help-helps keep more accountable. Its hard to help people if you don't have all the facts :)
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    I'd like to see your diary before I answer this question.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Recently you asked about a plateau. A perfect example of when folks might want to see your diary. (To offer suggestions like: eat more, or eat less, or add more protein).

    fwiw, I consider myself private too, which is why I have no photo, nor personal comments about my family and husband. But if I ask for advice, I'll either ask my MFP friends, who can see my diary, or open it briefly for all to see.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
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    You don't have to give anyone any information you don't want to ~ but, you are being too sensitive in that the main reason they are asking to see your diary is to give you advice on that aspect (diet) which directly effects all other aspects of losing weight. You are the one asking for advice and in forums such as this it's natural to assume people would want to see all the information to be able to give you the best answer they can - they only trying to get the whole picture in order to help. Don't worry about it and do whatever you want to do (show diary or not) and don't take it personally. Good luck in your endeavors - You can do it!!!

    This^^
  • mruntidy
    mruntidy Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Imagine it like a car, you're driving along and it starts rattling, you take it to a garage and the mechanic says can I take a look under the hood, you say no, so the potential problem can't be diagnosed only speculated and might never be rectified

    Similarly though, advice, like revenge, is a dish best served cold. Just remember you aren't always going to like what you hear but sometimes it is in your best interests to hear it. The majority of people aren't on here to kick you when you're down, they're here to help you to your feet.
  • babyblooz
    babyblooz Posts: 220 Member
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    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    I'd like to see your diary before I answer this question.

    :laugh:
  • ipw133
    ipw133 Posts: 13 Member
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    Advice is based on facts/observations. If you want generic advice that may not help you - then keep your data private. if you want focused information that is personally tailored to your needs (and question) - then give the information sought.

    It's your choice.
  • alexroet
    alexroet Posts: 65 Member
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    I agree with everyone else- if you don't want to share, don't- but, depending on what you're asking, sometimes it's hard to answer without knowing what you're dealing with.

    And- if you're eating in a way that you're ok with and proud of, what's to hide? Do you know what I mean? In other words, if you don't have anything to hide, why do you need to hide it? Could it be that deep down you know you're not eating 'right' and you don't want people to see? if that's the case, if you yourself know you're not doing what you could/should- then you have the answer to your question right there.

    I don't mean that to attack you- just that we usually know in our gut what's wrong.

    My diary is open to friends, but frankly I've been terrible lately, eating lots of chocolate, etc- and so I haven't been closing my days out and publishing them, because I KNOW I don't need to eat chocolate etc, and don't want a lecture. But when I'm on track and doing well, I don't care if people know what I eat.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    I started out with my diary set to private, then I allowed my friends to look, now it's public. I have had no food stalkers whatsoever.
  • BlackTimber
    BlackTimber Posts: 230 Member
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    If it is really calories in vs. calories out then whatever is in your food diary should have absolutely no bearing on weight loss. the only thing that should matter is; your height, how many calories you are eating and how much you are exercising. Most people feel strongly about what they are doing and have collected some anecdotal evidence why such and such works. They mean no harm but have become "expert" at weight loss and want to share.
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?
    I am no longer lossing weight. Is this due to the dreaded plateau, or muscle gain from circuit training with the Supreme 90 day workout, or my crappy scales are wrong? What can I do?

    People can't guess why you think you've hit a plateau, if you have an open diary they can get a better perspective and give more knowledgeable advice. Of course it's entirely up to you if you want to keep this private, but you can't expect answers to specific questions about "plateaus" if the answerers don't know the facts :flowerforyou:
  • lwright311
    lwright311 Posts: 69 Member
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    Thank you. I will continue to keep my diary private but will be much more specific in the questions I ask. I never considered some of the points brought up by your replies so I will be more conciouse of that. Thanks again and good luck on your weight loss journey.
  • 714rah714
    714rah714 Posts: 759 Member
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    Same reason we look in your drug cabinet when we come over
  • erinsueburns
    erinsueburns Posts: 865 Member
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    Definitely depends on what the question is. While admittedly some people can be hyper critical, mostly it is necessary to answering the question. For instance, if someone's weight has stalled and they ask why and I see they aren't tracking sodium but what I am looking at, looks like alot of salty type foods to me. Well I can say have you checked your sodium lately? The lady in question did and it turned out she was more than three times higher than she should have been.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Imagine it like a car, you're driving along and it starts rattling, you take it to a garage and the mechanic says can I take a look under the hood, you say no, so the potential problem can't be diagnosed only speculated and might never be rectified

    Similarly though, advice, like revenge, is a dish best served cold. Just remember you aren't always going to like what you hear but sometimes it is in your best interests to hear it. The majority of people aren't on here to kick you when you're down, they're here to help you to your feet.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    Another suggestion would be to open your diary when you ask a question and when you feel like you have received adequate replies, close it again.
  • Dawnhasajeep
    Dawnhasajeep Posts: 180 Member
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    People ask because they want to help. You always have the option of opening it up and then restricting it again. Can also open it up to friends and just ask your friends for help not the whole community.
  • HIITMe
    HIITMe Posts: 921 Member
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    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?

    most folks who want to view your diary are just NOSEY and want to find something wrong in an effort to make themselves feel self-important...
  • Dawnhasajeep
    Dawnhasajeep Posts: 180 Member
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    I am a very private person and I do not want my diary to be public. When I post a topic and ask for advice, I try to post pertenant info in the topic. However, some people that reply to the post, dont give advice and sound like they think I am stupid for not sharing all my info if I am gonna ask a question. Am I being too sensitiveor is it really neccessary to see all my info to give advice?
    I am no longer lossing weight. Is this due to the dreaded plateau, or muscle gain from circuit training with the Supreme 90 day workout, or my crappy scales are wrong? What can I do?

    People can't guess why you think you've hit a plateau, if you have an open diary they can get a better perspective and give more knowledgeable advice. Of course it's entirely up to you if you want to keep this private, but you can't expect answers to specific questions about "plateaus" if the answerers don't know the facts :flowerforyou:

    You could try Isometric Exercise if you have hit a plateau.

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