Divorce lead to gaining back my 30lbs and now I'm stuck. :(

Good Morning! I am beyond frustrated right now. I just canNOT seem to get the motivation back that I once had and I just don't know how to push through this.

Backstory: In March of 2011 I realized how out of control my weight had become so on my 29th birthday in April on 2011 I started using MFP and made a huge lifestyle change. I took baby steps at first but I was so motivated that I eventually got to the point that I had cut out all soda, was drinking 16 glasses of water minimum a day, Staying within my calorie range everyday, and working out 6 out of 7 days a week, sometimes twice a day. And I was HAPPY! I learned so much about myself and was proud of who I was. My self confidence was great and I was no longer insecure. I dropped 30lbs by August and ran my first 5K.

I got comfortable with where I was. I still wanted to lose some more but I was happy to slowly get there and I started to relax a little on how hard I was pushing myself. While things were going pretty good with my self confidence my marriage was slowly falling apart. I turned 30 in April and couldn't have been happier with where I was physically on my 30th birthday. I had come so far in a year! In May my now ex husband and I took a trip to Jamaica and I was able to where a two piece on the beach and actually feel good about myself...something I never thought would happen. But just days after we got back we realized our marriage was over and I moved out.

Over the next several months I tried to remain positive and focus on the life that was in front of me but the weight slowly started to creep back on and by the fall I had gained 20 of my 30lbs back. I just couldn't find the motivation to want to workout and was eating out much more than I ever had. I started seeing someone who had always just been a good friend in September and things started going really well.

That brings us to now. I am crazy happy with my personal life and I feel like in ways I get a "do over". I have this amazing man who accepts me for who I am and not who he wants me to be or what I do for him. My children are happy and I'm a million times a better mother to them now than when I was with their father. I lost a lot of friends and family memers through the divorce but I now have the people in my life who want to be in it. I have so much in place...but now I can't seem to get motivated to get my health back on track.

I used to look forward to going to Zumba or running or the gym because it was "me time". It was time I could get away and focus on myself and think. Now I just don't need that "me time" anymore. I'm not running away from something at home. I'm happy being there and I love spending time with my boyfriend and my kids. It's hard to choose to go to workout for an hour when I could be spending time with them.

I've been trying to watch my caloried and eat/drink better. But by the end of the day I'm craving junk food and I just dont' feel as passionate as I once did about tryign to eat healthy. I'm stuck in a rut.

I don't want to have to choose between being happy with my life and being happy with my body and health.....but for some reason that's where I feel like I'm stuck right now.

I know this was long winded and if you took the time to read all of this I thank you and ask for any help or advice you could give me to power through. I want to have the body back that I did before and I want to feel as good as I did health wise...I'm just not sure how to gain that motivation back.