I feel like a horrible person for thinking this!!!

That can be rough. Dealing with friends like yours is a lot like dealing with an alcoholic or drug addict who knows what they are doing isn't good for them, but have all sorts of reasons why they can't change. (In fact, going to Al Anon to deal with my ex's addiction issues is what helped me finally start losing weight.) Ultimately there's nothing you can do for them other than to set an example and hope that you can somehow inspire them to finally take a chance.

As a nurse, I run in to people like this all the time, and it's hard to keep my mouth shut. I'm also related to some people who I wish would just give it a try! But they won't. I've asked them repeatedly to come try one of my zumba classes, and they won't even try it! They don't have the information they need to lose the weight, and they don't want it! They probably feel like it's impossible, or that they just can't do it. They probably feel hopeless, and have acquired these bad habits, that are just too difficult to let go. I work on a cardiac unit, and I hear the doctors, and myself telling people that if they don't quit smoking, they'll have another heart attack, and may not be as fortunate to survive the next one, but what happens? They end up right back on the unit, and say they couldn't quit smoking, or, on occasion, they go home, light up, and fall out right then and there. Everyone has some nasty little habit, that they just can't break. For someone who has 100+ pounds to lose, I can see how that would feel impossible. Some people feel like their life is just not worth the battle to lose the weight. Maybe they have no family, or something/someone to live FOR. IDK. All we can do is thank our lucky stars, that we're not at that point in our lives right now. I for one have been fat all my life, until about a year ago, and I would hate myself if it happened, but it's so easy to go back to old habits. It's what we know, it's what feels good, until we hit rock bottom, then it doesn't feel so good. For many, food is like a drug, and if you've ever seen a drug addict, you know how hard it is to break that habit.

I understand at least some of your frustration. The BF has been complaining for years about wanting to lose weight but did not do a damn thing at all. I eventually had to shut my own mouth, too, as I put on 40+ pounds in 10 months - and it took that entire 10 months of being unhappy with it before I did anything about it. But I remember, for my previous smaller times, being SO FRUSTRATED with his complaining.

He now is making an effort of some sort by doing a couple hours of cardio a week. That is also sometimes frustrating, as he refuses to look at what he is eating and then complains that the weight's not coming off as fast as it is for me. But I've figured out that continually outlaying what I do will only chase him off doing anything healthy at all.

It's a thin line we walk.

As per the first set of people you saw in the cafe - that would probably horrify me some, too. We all take our time in deciding to change, but sometimes it's so frustrating, especially when people seem to have at least some of the information in front of them.